ᗪOᑎ'T TOᑌᑕᕼ ᗰY ᗩᒪᑭᕼᗩ

Please

Izuku Midoriya

(Angst)
(Self Depreciation)

I crawled back into the nest beside Katsuki and silently cursed myself. The dull throbbing in my hips acted as a constant reminder of what I had just done. The shower did little to wash away the guilt that seemed to cover every inch of my skin. It had been wonderful while it lasted and after he knotted me, my heat symptoms went away. My instincts were telling me to be happy, proud that my Alpha claimed me. But I couldn't let myself bask in the afterglow of our mating, not when I was being so selfish.

Katsuki was out cold, snoring softly while possessively holding me to his chest. I had already got dressed as well as packed. My bags were by the front door and ready for my departure. I checked the digital clock on the bedside table and frowned at the time. My phone buzzed gently in my pocket and I knew that was the text saying that my ride was here. Mina and Shinso were here to pick me up as I planned.

However, leaving the nest and the warmth of Katsuki's arms proved to be more difficult than I had imagined. His face was peaceful. His normal scowl seemed to fade away when he slept, replaced by an expressionless mask that made him look gentle, docile even. His lips were parted just the tiniest amount with his cheek pressed into the pillows. I gently traced the tip of my finger over his features. One by one, memorizing and saying goodbye.

I managed to slip out of the nest undetected and slipped my shoes on by the door. My chest ached but not because I was leaving. I wanted to leave so that Katsuki could move on and live the life he wanted. This was the only way I could make up for what I put him through. I hurt because I had mated with him and everything instinct in my body told me to run back to the safety of my nest. Leaving right after mating was unnatural for fated mates. Although he didn't mark me, we had strengthened our bond and I could physically feel how calm he was at the moment.

I could feel his peace as he slept and I tried to force myself not to believe that what I was doing was wrong on so many levels. I had left him before without a word and with now goodbye. This time it wasn't because I had fucked up and needed to keep him physically safe. This time, I needed to protect his heart. He would never love me how he could love another. I had hurt him, and he deserves someone that wasn't -- me.

Shinso was at the door and quickly took my bags. Mina ushered me to the car and paused when she opened the door for me. She looked at me curiously and I frowned while instinctively pulling my sweater closer to my body. I knew she could tell and her quick once over on my body with her eyes told me that she was confused. I reeked of Katsuki and sex.

"You two mated," It wasn't a question and all I could do was nod once and slip into the backseat. Mina looked at me carefully for a second longer before shutting the door gently and getting into the passenger's seat while Shinso slid behind the wheel.

"Got everything?" Shinso asked, turning to look at me with a quizzical glance. I watched as he sniffed and made a face, but before he could say anything Mina jabbed him in the side with her elbow. I growled under my breath at the awkward tension and bared my teeth.