Dearest

Chapter 11

"Is mommy still sick?"

I looked down at the little girl who managed to slip to my office unnoticed. I forced a smile.

It's been roughly about two months, Hange and Farlan are doing well and they both helped me a lot on the clinic, Isabel is a bright child in school, while Levi... I can't say that his condition got worse. I can't do anything but give him meds, his hormones are currently all over the place which might have caused him to act so indifferent.

I pat the girl's head, hoping it will wipe the frown off of her face. "You're mommy is just having a hard time carrying your little sibling."

"Well, is there anything we can do?" Isabel pressed.

I sigh, maybe... "Just hug mommy and tell him how much you loved him."

"That's all? No medicines?"

"No. That's all."

And I watched the girl ran out of my office. I tried to think back if holding Levi from his medicine might benefit him. Also, I realized what a mess I'm actually in. What was I trying to achieve? Helping Levi? Getting rid of the guilt on my chest? But finding Levi and letting him stay at my house didn't seem to improve his mental state. Yes, he had food, shelter, and clothing but.

I think I just made the biggest mistake in my life, Mikasa doesn't exist in my world and we barely spoke to each other after the marriage. We even agreed to have an outside relationship as long as it remained discrete from the public eye and the eyes of the Ackermans yet I forgot that such little things may affect Levi. I thought, things will go great if he met his cousin, yet I assume too much.

What have I done? I put Levi into this torture to save myself by drowning in guilt. I knew he had feelings for me yet at the end of the day, I only think about what good will it come to me.

Just like what Armin says. I only cared about what will things do good for me, I approach him so I can have someone to help me with my studies and in the end, I fell in love with him. It was an innocent move from my point of view since it was natural for couples to help each other with school work, right?

Yet what I did to Levi was unacceptable. I used Levi's feelings to manipulate him, so we can get what we want but in the end, it was actually to get what I want.

"Eren?" Isabel's voice called me out of my mind.

I straighten from my seat before looking back at the girl. "Yes?"

"Why Mommy is so cold?"

I felt my heart skipped and my blood run cold. I quickly got to my feet and dashed towards Levi's room.

And there he was, lying peacefully on hid bed. This is the first time I saw him so peaceful, face relaxes and deadly pale.

Isabel went ahead and give the dead body a shake before looking back at me. Her huge green eyes stared at me, I can see how she tries to stop her tears.

God, what have I done?

*****

One year later.

The train let out its last whistle as we left the train platform. I will rather be the last to leave the train than to squeeze into a mush of people that are trying to leave the train as it stopped at the station.

Finally, stepping out of the train, I clicked my tongue at the disgusting sight of beggars on the corner of the streets with their hands extended, begging for a few coins.

"The fuck?!" I hissed as I saw my uncle hand a penny at the old lady.

"Come on boy," My uncle chuckles as he hands another penny on the man next to her. "Who knows, maybe one day we'll need their help."

"Whatever, but those dirty sticks called hands of theirs are not touching me." I shivered at the thought. Disgust crawls into my skin. I have to fucking stop himself from scratching my arm until it bleeds. Breathing in, I tried to keep the thoughts away. "And since when did you care for those useless shit?"

"Just now, I thought this country is rich, to my dismay I found this first thing I step out of the train." My uncle raises his head, with his sophisticated clothes and his excellent acting skills, no one can tell that he's a drug dealer. We felt France and decided to expand our 'business' here, after getting hints that this foul place doesn't have sufficient supply, which causes the trade to be in a desirable amount.

I shake my head at my uncle's useless thoughts. The poor is not what we are after anyway. We continued down the main city and there we witness how rich this place is. Huge victorian houses stands with all their glory, aristocratic citizens walking with their butlers in their expensive clothes, dainty carriages drove by majestic beasts. This place is loaded indeed.

I guess never judge a book by its cover.

We continued walking, surveying the place. It was quite peaceful, a few cops wandering around that can be easily handled.

I stopped in my tracks as my eyes caught something on the corner of my eye.

A clinic. A homey looking clinic, with flower pots and a picket fence around them, huge clean windows letting in the natural light allowing me to see what going on inside.

A tall brunet came out of the other room wearing a lab coat, I can see his bright smile, how those green eyes shine with joy as he leans over to pat the head a child which I assume was a patient.

I felt my body relax at the sight of the man, to be exact an Alpha. His scent was carried by the breeze, just enough to let me take a swift of his scent. Pine in a cold rainforest.

"Rivaille! What the fuck are you standing there?!"

I snapped out of the trance and walked away from the clinic. "Nothing Kenny."

I'm so sorry if this doesn't turn out what you thought but I just recently got exposed to The End of Levi's rule in the manga and it pains me so much. Yet I know he will raise at some point. And that goes with this Fanfic.