Dearest

Chapter 9

I'm alive! This fic is still alive!

I'm sorry it took forever, I can't write there type of stories when I don't feel like shit. Which is weird and hard.

Anyway, enjoy your bleeding hearts!

The Yeager estate is quite. Mainly because the late Mr. and Mrs. Yeager died. Allowing Eren to let people in the house but he's not alone.

I never thought that they'll be a day when I'm face to face with my cousin. We're not that even close, we have seen each other but our interactions are nothing but scripts written by our parents. She looked huge as ever since she's an Alpha which is taller than me. She is even more, intimidating now with a stick of cigarette on her lips.

Her once calculation eyes grew wide when they landed on me. "Levi."

I didn't say anything. I just merely stared at her, fighting to stop my own body from trembling.

"Wow! This house is huge!" Isabel exclaimed as she tugged my shirt.

"We can leave you guys if you wanted to talk." Eren offered like a gentleman, taking Isabel's hand on his and drag the child away from us.

I almost forgot that I'm not alone. That Hange and Farlan are right behind but they all followed Eren. Leaving me alone with.....

"Levi." Mikasa started when everyone has left. "You're mother was very worried."

I didn't even move and just stared at her, she didn't how those words mean nothing to me.

"How's your... state?"

If Mikasa is testing my insanity, I would gladly test it on her. Ripped her skin out of her bones and dig my fingers in her eyes until she'll scream stop.

"Never mind." She quickly dismissed and light her cigarette.

I eyed her fingers, my heart beating on my chest it hurts too much as I scan her ring finger.

No.

"Life might have been hard for you." Mikasa passed him and tap his shoulder.

I stand there.

They set him up to Mikasa. It's over.

*****

Life in Eren's mansion is painstakingly slow. The only reason why I refuse to leave is because of Isabel. Eren was kind enough to sponsor the child for school while Hange and Farlan helped him in the clinic. Mikasa, on the other hand, is not always at home. Leaving me alone with my thoughts in a mansion.

Eren offered me some work in the clinic but I refuse to be in a place near him. It just hurts too much.

It's like I lost everything. I was right when I said that Eren is only doing this because he pitied me.

The photos of Mikasa's and Eren's wedding is framed and hanged around the house but that's all and nothing more.

I returned to my room after seeing Isabel off to school. Laying on my bed, I stared at the empty ceiling. It's been a month since Eren took us in, Isabel, Hange, and Farlan are doing well, might as well be happy for them.

I tossed and turned until I gave up and sat on the bed. My insomnia is getting worse by the minute, lately, I only get one to two hours of sleep every night.

The pain in my chest just gets worsen as time flies. Eren was married to Mikasa, get over it. I kept telling myself that but it seems like it only makes matters worst.

My condition didn't escape Hange's critical eye. She tried to talk me to it but nothing seems to improve, she gave me some meds instead and I almost attacked her for reminding me of the madhouse.

In the end, we get rid of the drugs and reached an agreement: I have to at least leave my room for an hour and go somewhere.

Sighing, I got out of bed and walked out of the mansion. Deep inside I want to go somewhere no one knows me, where I can have a fresh start and-

I felt a hand cover my mouth and someone pressing behind me. Panicked wash through me when I blink and inspect my surroundings.

Where am I? How long have I been walking aimlessly?

I tried to crane my neck to look at my captor only to discover that I didn't know him or recognized him at all.

Then he started dragging me in a dark alley.

****

"Mommy!" Isabel came running towards me. Her beautiful eyes were full of tears and her once clean face was a mess.

I can't help but smile. Isabel is my new sunshine now. Kneeling, I scooped her in my arms and she automatically calms down.

"Where have you been?!" Eren followed, when he took a swift of my scent, he froze with wide eyes. The scent of an unknown Alpha with the smell of sex is still lingering on my skin.

Then he snarled. "Who did that to you?"

I almost want to roll my eyes. Why would he care?

"It's fine. He's dead." I simply said. This is not new to me anymore. Back in the slums, I usually ripped them to shreds but today, I confirm my sanity. It was nice to play pretend. Pretending that it was Eren that is touch me, who is holding me, who is giving me pleasure. I indulge myself in the little world I made. And it was far satisfying than I expected. Until the man ran away because I was laughing hysterically after, leaving me no choice but to pack him up.

"It's fine.." I said in a daze as I pat Isabel's head.

"Levi," Eren started but he paused. He knew that Hange tried to get me to drink some drugs, I know that it was his idea in the first place. I'm just disappointed that he asked Hange to talk it to me than him.

"Isabel," Eren called out instead. A pang of disappointment visits me again, ever since our last talk, the Alpha seems to avoid directly talking to me...

The child in my arms squirms until she was facing Eren.

"Mommy has been sick lately."

I stared at him in shock. No. Don't you dare.

"He is?" Isabel stared back at me.

"Yes, and I need you to be his doctor."

"Yes! I want to be mommy's doctor!"

"Great! Make sure to keep an eye on him and also make sure he takes his medicine."

I watch as he passes a very familiar bottle of pills to the child in my arms. Isabel took it and wave it in front of me.

If Isabel is not in my arms right now, I'll be glaring daggers at the smiling Alpha.

Oh, how much I hate him now.