Dearest

Chapter 13

I kneeled down and petted the ball of gray fur that is now happily eating his meal. This cat kept coming here after a threw him some chicken and now he is officially our cat. Still doesn't have a name but at least, the furball gained some weight and this time, a balanced diet under my watch.

Straightening up, I reach for my coat and scarf.

"And where do you think you are going?" Kenny raises a brow at me.

I finished my first dealings for today, I guess, I deserve a nice dinner with some company. "Out."

"Don't bring anyone back." Kenny reminded me before I left the apartment.

I just shake my head. I don't blame my uncle though, during my younger years, I tend to drag a lot of Alphas to our place for some fun. Kenny was furious, it was an Alpha thing they say, Alphas hate it when some unknown just entered their territory. But this time, I wanna take the sweet role. Because when I think about 'company' that doctor is the first thing in my mind.

Eren indeed looks cute. Too cute to break so easily. I don't want to appear too desperate to get him to bed, in fact, I really want to know him. Why did he choose to be a doctor? Does he really own the place? The white mansion? Do I really look like his past lover or someone special?

Or in general, I just really want to look at him. I can still remember those clear blue-green eyes shines once again. How his skin glows like gold under the light. Wondering how his hair felt underneath my fingertips.

Those urges are far more powerful actually. More powerful than just bed with him.

I guess I'm getting old. Tired of one night stands, flings, and childish plays.

The dusk is breaking as I walk down the familiar street. Perfect time for closing. Up ahead, I can see the clinic's lights illuminating the cobbled stones road.

The sign already said closed but I pushed the door anyways. Sasha, the doctor's assistant perked up at my arrival.

"Oh, I'm sorry but we are close now." She said, gesturing to her packed stuff.

"It's okay, I have a special appointment with the doctor." I winked at her and approached the doctor's office. Not letting her stop me.

I slowly close the door behind me, and there he was, facing the window. He didn't notice my arrival so I knocked at the door to get his attention.

I heard him sigh, before turning his chair to face me. "I'll lock up Sasha-"

He paused and once again, our eyes locked. I can't really help it, he really had beautiful eyes. "Good evening."

"Ummm... I'm sorry but we are already close, sir." He patiently told me.

"I know. I came here to properly introduced myself." I approached and offered my hand. "Rivaille Devereaux."

"Right. Eren Yeager."

He didn't stand up and took my hand, instead, he just stared at me like I'm sort of unknown creature with his huge beautiful eyes. Shrugging, I just let my hand drop. "I know that this is a little weird but I really want to get to know you. Can you join me for dinner doc?"

"No," He gasped.

No? My eyes widen at the sudden rejection. Man, that really hurts.

"This is not right." He stood up and started packing his things. "You must leave, we are close."

"Wait, not right? I just-"

"I said leave."

My breath hitched when he used his Alpha voice at me. Honestly, he looked terrifying now. Thanks to my sorry ass height, he looks intimidating as he glared at me. Taking a few steps back, I forced myself to smile. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do anything bad. I'll come back then when you're not on the edge of killing me."

With that said, I literally ran out of the clinic. It was a stupid flight or fight response. I can still feel the chills running down my spine and the goosebumps that still crawled in the skin.

I stopped the corner of our building and wheeze in some breath and still my beating heart. After a while, I was able to even out my breathing but my fucking heart won't stop!

"Shit, fuck!" I cursed as I rubbed my face. The first time rejected. When was my charm ever run out? Even when I was only living here for a week I already got admires who send me pretty things and approach me. I literally don't have to do anything to get a fling. But that doctor! That fucking hot doctor! Why do you have to be so difficult?!

Clutching my chest I tried to fight back the pain. Rejection hurts like a bitch but giving up hurts like hell. There is no way I'm letting go that easily. I was just surprised that he used his Alpha voice to drove me away. But now, I'm prepared and I know just what to do.

****

"What the hell are you doing Rivaille?!" Kenny said after staring at me with his jaw drop for a minute.

"Baking, what do you think it is?" I shrugged as I took a drag of my cigarette. Now that I thought of it I should stop this addiction, Doctor Eren will surely not approve. Taking the stick, I wet the whole thing on the basin.

"For what?! And that's not how you do it!" Kenny exclaimed as he pushed me off and tried to fix my mistake.

I watched him go over the cakes. Suddenly feeling down, I collapsed on the nearest chair. "I'm worthless..."

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Kenny shouted at me, confused at state.

"I can't even bake a cake...." I sigh. A sudden urge of craving for a stick of cigarettes came to me but I forced it away. This whole thing is going to be hard.

"Idiot! Then stop mopping you fucker and come here! I'll fucking teach you." Kenny spit like teaching me was a burden.

"Really?" I raise a brow at him. Can he really bake?

"Yes, now stand up if you want to prove that you are not worthless, you little shit!"

****

He shouldn't come back. Oh, please don't come back.

All the pain that I forced to burry with him came rushing back like rocks crumbling me down until my bones were crushed to ashes.

Why? Just why?

When I was able to move on with my life. He came back, looking like Levi and stabbing me with all pain form the past.

Though, apart from me what him to come back. I really want to apologize. I was unprofessional and what I did is shameful. And another is easing his face once again in a healthy state is wonderful. But. He is not Levi. And he will never be. He is a beta, a few inches taller than Levi, healthier and beautiful and he came from another country.
I lean back at my chair and tried to sort my conflicted thoughts.

But more importantly, I hope Isabel won't see him.