Dearest

Chapter 15

I sat in my office, gazing at the open window. It took me everything to get into my feet again with Farlan in tow.

With my knowledge and wits, I was able to get a job in a school as a science teacher assistance and after a year, I earn my job as an official science teacher. Farlan got a job as well in a store, he was promoted as a manager now.

And Isabel, she's doing well in school but I sometimes can feel her sadness of Levi's death.

If Levi is dead.

I tap my pen at the edge of my table. It's been a year since Levi's death and the cause of his death kept me thinking. 

When Levi dead, Farlan and I moved out of the Yeager Estate. We weren't able to bury his body because we don't have money. His cousin, Mikasa volunteered to cremate him and present him to his family.

I never knew Levi's family before but hearing my friend's life story, I'm sure that they are not good parents.

Another thing is that I never knew what happened the day when Levi was raped. I knew that there is more story there but during those times, Levi is unstable, he doesn't even care that he was rape or even remembers that whole event.

I went to Mikasa and ask if I can have the address where Levi was buried. But she had no idea since his family decided what to do with his corpse.

I know I may be insane for thinking this because I had this feeling that Levi is not dead. I just knew it but I can't prove it. When Levi died, Eren wasn't able to check him thoroughly with all the guilt now resting on his shoulders.

Farlan knew something was off but he didn't tell me because he was not sure and he wanted to observe Levi's body but he wasn't able to because Mikasa took his body.

The bell rang, cutting my thoughts off. I stood up, pack my things and go home with some of my fellow teachers.

But I took a turn and visit the park this time. Sorting my thoughts and write them down. I sat on a bench and write down all my speculations about Levi's questionable death. Now that I have a decent reputation and money, I'll be able to visit the Ackermans again. Last time I did that, I was thrown out of the gates because they deemed me as a street rat that shouldn't get close to them. Mikasa was my other choice but she went to France. Though I heard she is going home this month which is my chance.

I started listing down, every detail is never finished and always end with a question mark.

As the sun goes down, I can sense someone took a seat at the bench behind mine.

"Fucking shit!" I heard the person sniff. It was clear with his voice that he had been crying.

"Why am I in love with him?" I heard him slap himself.

"There is plenty of fish in the sea out there," he sniffs. "I-I don't n-need h-him..."

Then he started crying, his cries got louder and I suddenly felt sorry for him. I remember Levi and his painful love for Eren. It was never healthy, to begin with, I should have been there with Levi when he first met Eren when he was a child. I stood up from my seat.

The person kept crying and I can't take it. I have to do something. Digging into my bag, I took a bar of chocolate. If people ask if I want sex or chocolate, I rather pick chocolate.

I walk towards him. He looks pitiful, shoulders shaking, head down, his hands were wet from all of his tears.

I stood in front of him, forcing a smile. "Hey," I offered the chocolate. "I hope this will make you feel better."

I saw him took a peek on the chocolate before wiping his face and looked up to me. "T-Thanks." His voice crook and his hand tremble as he took the sweets.

My eyes grew wide as I fully saw the man's face. His eyes were red and his cheeks were in dusty pink from all the crying but his pale skin and jet black hair. I ran my eyes down at his figure, small frame, and slender figure. I can feel my heart quicken in pace, a smile finally creeps to my lips after a long time of grieving for my friend. But. His scent. A beta.

All my excitement died down but my mind stopped function for a while. This person. He looked exactly like Levi but he's a Beta.

I blink when he started crying again but manage to peel the chocolate off the wrapper and took a small bite.

Taking a deep breath, I sat next to him. I dare to rest my hand on his shoulder as he silently cried until finished off the chocolate.

"I'm Hange by the way."

"Rivaille Devereaux."

"Rivaille...." I stared at him for a while, suddenly feeling uneasy staring at a stranger who looked exactly like Levi. "Did you- Ummm... knew someone named Levi?"

He sniffs before taking a deep breath. "No, I don't." He said before he glared at me. My breath hitched, as the very familiar glare landed at me. "Why? Do I look exactly like the friend that you weren't able to help?"

I gasped. Not expecting that he'll say that but every word hits the spot.

"Does looking at me only make things worse?!" He began shouting and tears starting to fall once more. "It's not my fault I look like this! It's not my fault that I look like someone!"

He shouted but his face switched to regret when he finally saw my reaction. "Fuck! I'm- I'm sorry! Those words are not for you. I-I'm just upset..."

He broke down crying again and I started rubbing his back. Who is this man?! Why did he said those words?! He said that those words weren't for me... could it be?

"Hey, it's okay. If you want to talk about it, I'm here to listen."

He looked up to me, hesitating.

"I don't know you, so I can't judge you but my opinion is not biased if you want it," I reassured. As much as possible I want to know who this person is and march into Mikasa or to the Ackermans, probably demanding explanations. It is not a solid plan, but that's it for now until I fully knew this... Rivaille.

After a few seconds of silent, Rivialle sigh. "Okay." He took a deep breath before continuing. "I fell in love with a man who feels only guilt when he sees me because I look exactly like the person he once knew."

My jaw dropped. That man is certainly Eren Yeager.