Dearest

Chapter 8

Levi

We stare at each other, lips zip tight. After another awkward moment, Eren averted his gaze, distracting himself, he looked around the run down house. We are sitting on the dining table both facing each other.

I don't know what he was planning, when I tried to get away from him, he actually let me drag him and I am stupid enough to the lead him to our house.

"Hello," Isabel started. Staring at Eren with her big green eyes.

Eren gave her one of his beaming smile. Again, I felt that painful jab on my chest. Seeing that smile again brought back painful memories of the past. A simple reflection of how stupid I was to fall on such a trap.

"Hello there, my name is Eren and you are?"

"My name is Isabel and this is my mommy." She happily pointed at me.

"Oh really?" Eren said in awe and the child next to me giggled.

I felt my heart raced in an instant after hearing Isabel. My breathing quickens and it took my all to stop from running out of the house and hide from the face of the eartg.

Eren thought I had child, a child that's not his.

"Not really." Isabel blurted, then this time, my heart skipped a bit. No, not this. I take everything I said, I am willing to take Isabel as my child just to make her stop telling her story.

"How so?" Eren ask curiously. I want to jump at him and stranggle him, to him stop from asking more and coxing Isabel. But... I did nothing, I just sat there and absentmindedly looking out of the window.

"Daddy hits mommy a lot. Mommy is a juice drinker, when she drinks too much she walks funny." Isabel giggles. "Daddy, like to play bang bang and it puts rabbits to sleep. One day, mommy and daddy are fighting, I can't sleep because they are shouting. I decided to put them to sleep. BANG! BANG!" I flitched when Isabel imitated a gun with her hands.

"But they never woke up," Isabel pouted as she crossed her arms against her chest.

I hated that story. Glancing at Eren, I found him shocked and wide eyed at the child. Yes. I slumped on my chair. We are all insane. Me, Hange, Farlan must have had his dark secrets, I can tell. And Isabel is not an exception...

"Your mommy and daddy are boring, you are very lucky you have another mommy now."

I perked up at the tone of Eren's voice. The Alpha was playful, furrowing his brows and imitating Isabel with a pout complete with his arms cross.

"Yes! Because last time when we go to the park, I found a four leaf clover!" Isabel jumped on her seat.

I can't help but smile at the memory. Normal children will throw a tantrum when they can't find a four leaf clover but Isabel, she works hard in order to find it. She was so happy, her green eyes sparkled with joy.

Time flew as Isabel tells more stories to Eren. The brunet never fails to be resposive during the story telling which motivates the child to tell more. She started telling how I tried to cook only to end up burning it. How we played a prank together by hiding Hange's glasses, how we painted Farlan's face as he sleeps. Those were the good days.

In the middle of the story telling, I heard the back door opened. Instinctively, I reached for my dagger, when I saw the familiar ash blonde pop out, I relaxed.

Farlan, just the person I need.

Farlan paused midway from the room, mouth open, ready to consume the apple on his hand which I think is stolen. His eyes switched from me to Eren.

Like a gentleman, Eren rose from his seat and greeted the still frozen man. "Good day sir, my name is-"

"Apple!" Isabel shouted and runs towards her cousin. "Can we share? Please?"

Farlan is completely conflicted, looking at my direction for explanation.

"Look at the time, it's nap time for Izzy. Farlan can you take your cousin for me?" I said, trying not to stutter. And I don't know why I clarified that he was not my lover and nothing but Isabel's cousin. I feel sick.

"Ahh... Okay." Farlan nodded and scooped the child on his hands and went to her room, closing the door behind them.

It leaves me alone with Eren. Here's goes nothing...

"Levi-"

"No." I snapped at him.

Eren was taken aback but he recovered quickly. "No, Levi. Where have you been? How did you escaped? You're family is looking for you!"

I gritting my teeth at the simple recall of my family. One thing, they are not my family. Hange, Farlan, and Isabel are my real family.

"So?" I rolled my eyes. "I'm alive. So, now what?"

"You're alive alright but you are not well. Look, I'm not taking you back to your parents if you dont want to. " Eren leaned back, covering his face with hands. "This is all my fault, I shouldn't have risked it. Armin eloped with another Alpha anyway. "

I blinked at him at the news. It's been so long, I suddenly felt old.

"My mom died... Dad, ran away after the authorities figured out that he is practicing medical services without a license. But I got the house... " Eren laughs, I can see how he tries to hide his sorrows. "Levi, Isabel is a wonderful girl and I think you were a great mother."

For two years, my heart simply ache painfully from the mare image or reminder of Eren Yeager but this time with those simple words, I was able to look into his eyes, not feeling any more pain on my chest. But it didn't last. When I felt the first familiar beats of my heart, the horrible truth is right in front of me again. I still love Eren.

"Levi, come with me."

"Huh?"

"I know that this is all my fault but I want to make it up to you. Please."

"N-no... Go away... "

"Wait, listen to me. You can bring Isabel and that guy earlier. Or you can work for me! I can offer you accommodation. Just let me make it up for you. "

Eren is practically begging. Sucking in air I tried to calm myself. But my head kept spinning.

"Please, Levi you might hate me but I understand. But do this for the sake of Isabel instead. "

Just like that, my shattered thoughts cleared.

"Judging by earlier, Isabel is a great kid and she deserves more than this. "

"Y-yes.. " lowering my head I felt ashamed of the house, my work, my myself, everything for not giving a wonderful child like Isabel the life that she deserves. But then on the back of my mind, there is another calling. The calling that I hate the most. "Okay. "

I agreed. For Isabel's sake but am I even sure of it? The other calling kept telling me that I only do this to be with Eren again.

Lowering my head in defeat, I hugged myself. Eren is onyl doing this because he pitied me. I feel sick.