Mistakes

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It's a sad feeling,
When you realize that
You have messed up.
When it all hits you,
Every little thing you did
To lead up to this point.
Every mistake you made.
All the things you wish
You could take back.
If given the chance to
Do it all again,
You would.
But would it really be different?
Would you remember
How it was before?
Would you be the same person
That those events made you?
Or would you,
As well as the rest of the slate,
Be completely wiped clean.
Even so.
You can't.
It's impossible to change what is,
Or what was.
Maybe you can try to change
What will be,
But it takes a lot of work.
And most are not so forgiving
As to give you the chance.
People so rarely change,
You see.
You can't begrudge them
Their walls and hostility.
You've earned as much,
If not worse.
Because of your mistakes.
There is no going back.
Not ever.

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