Parts of Falling In Love

Head

Kristof

August 22, 2016

That hug, that kiss on the cheek, I couldn't get over them.

They devoured me like a wild fire. How it felt like to kiss you was what I thought about all night. I never knew how much I wanted you until that moment our lips almost touched. But I knew I had to hold back.

One, because I am not a pervert. And two, I didn't want you to think I was taking advantage of your vulnerable state and ruin the chance of being your friend again.

This morning, I took you to the park, to help you move on from that prick.

You seemed really sad.

"You must've really loved that prick," I mumbled, looking down at the damp grass.

"Why didn't you tell me?" You asked.

I snapped my head back to you with a mini heart attack. "Tell you what?"

"I saw your medicine cabinet, Kristof."

It wasn't what I expected you to find out. I honestly thought Tim must have told you what he thinks I was feeling about you. Now I guess he was right, I was guilty of liking you more than a friend.

I bit my tongue, not knowing how to explain my condition to you.

You looked at me with bleary eyes and then jumped on me for a tight hug, a really tight one, making me remember that night you thought I was gonna leave immediately and how bad you felt about it.

"Hey," I said, smiling, feeling how much you still cared for me, "I'm not dying today." I chuckled, "Unless you keep choking me with your strong arms."

"How can you joke about this?" You pulled away, tears welling up in your eyes.

I explained to you how my clinical trial was working. I was getting better that's why I came back. You gave me a dubious look and after a second, you threw your arms around me again.

"Don't ever leave again," you mumbled beneath my ear.

Making our foreheads touch, I promised, "I'm not planning to." I pecked on your head and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.

Your lashes fluttered up and down, making your tears drop. You wiped them with the back of your hands and smiled.

It was exactly how I remember what I saw and felt the first time I met you, happy and beautiful.

We spent the rest of the day doing what we used to do at the park. Flying kites, eating cookies and cream and choco chip ice cream, and playing a one on one soccer game.

You told me about how you gave up soccer and how bad you felt about it, letting problems stop you from doing what you love. I hated myself for not being there for you but you said if I was there you wouldn't be as tough as you are right now.

Then you said you depended on me for comfort every time you were sad. Hearing that made me feel worse. I remember how it was the only thing I ever wanted to do for the rest of my life but I gave it up for meaningless hookups and pointless partying.

I let my sickness cloud me.

But now it was all clear.

That sudden realization came with a blow on the head. I slumped down the grass rubbing my temple. You rushed towards me, covering your mouth, not knowing if you should laugh or not.

"I never thought you could still kick a ball that far, and hard," I chuckled and you burst out laughing.

"And I never thought you were too mesmerized by my beauty that you didn't see it coming," you snickered, helping me get up. I pulled you towards me by your waist. You tried to avoid my gaze but I tried to catch yours, turning my head to wherever your eyes shifted. "What are you doing?" You asked, giggling.

"Trying to mesmerize you with my beauty," I answered, giving you my best grin.

"Gods, you're such a flirt." You rolled your eyes and gave me a slap on my chest, acting like you weren't amused.

"I bet you just can't resist my charm," I dared, adding a wink. It was really cute how you blushed.

"Are you asking for a flirting game now?" Your perfectly shaped brow raised.

"A flirting game?" I chuckled, "Well, you just lost. Look how red you are right now."

You pinched my cheeks until I winced. "It's a tie!" Silly laughs escaped both of us as we played a game of cat and mouse around the park, not minding the old people sitting on the benches, giving us judgmental glares.

I wish we can be like this forever.