Parts of Falling In Love

Eyes

Katie

August 15, 2016

"I love you, Kae" Dex blurted out, catching me off guard. He wrapped his arms around me, making me feel his sincerity. After years of faking a smile, I finally had one that came out naturally.

But it vanished the second I blinked.

An achingly familiar pair of sharp, brown eyes struck me like lightning, pulverizing everything I was starting to feel again.

A name came into my mind like a faint whisper. "Kristof."

I thought I'd never see you again.

You pressed your lips together into a smile and then turned your back and walked away. There was something inside me that wanted to go after you but I didn't. I just wrapped my arms around Dex and started forcing smiles again.

When I got home, I stared at my phone, wondering why I couldn't let myself answer your calls, why I didn't change my number if I really wanted to forget you like what you did to me, and why I was questioning myself instead of celebrating the fact that Dex loves me and now I have a quite matured, junior boyfriend who has done nothing but try to make me feel happy.

May called interrupting my thoughts. I told her about Dex. She squealed in excitement and congratulated me for not being single anymore. But her excitement stopped when she sensed my silence.

"Wait, did you even say you love him back?" She asked. I didn't answer fast so she started scolding me. "Does Kristof have something to do with this again? Are you still infatuated with him? He-"

I cut her off and said, "He came back May. What if he has some good reasons for ignoring me for the past two years? I hate him but-"

She sighed and spoke, annoyed, "Could there possibly be a good reason to ditch your bestfriend like that?" I was starting to think she was right until she sighed and spoke again. "You love Kristof more than Dex, don't you?"

"May," I laughed a little at her ridiculous presumption, "I don't. That's absurd. I don't even like him anymore. I didn't say I love you to Dex because-" I remembered your face but I shook it off. "Because I wasn't ready, simple as that."

I told her that I said yes to being Dex's girlfriend because I wanted to know what it feels like to "fall in love". May said getting into a relationship means you already love the person and that him making you happy shouldn't be the only reason because if it was then you should probably be hooking up with either a clown or a comedian. Her point left me with a lot more questions. And there was one that I had to know the answer to before anything else.

How do you know when you're falling in love?

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