Parts of Falling In Love

Hands

Katie

November 13,2016

Two months passed.

We used to meet each day except Saturday. I loved how we shared a connection, a smile, a pout, a gape, and a laugh in each conversation we had.

Each day we met, you brought your camera. I always grabbed it from you and took stolen pictures of you. You hated me for doing so.

I couldn't help but laugh at you, trying to block my shots. But when you start to turn away from me and avoid facing me in any way you can, acting all annoyed and angry, I stop, hold your hands from behind you and say "Sorry." 

Then you would turn to me and I would ask to take a picture together with you. You would hesitate every time but end up doing it anyway.

Instead of "say cheese," we use "say besties" when taking photos together.

We seemed like a perfectly cheesy couple.

I won't deny that fact anymore.

Yes, I want us to be a couple. But you never asked me. And the days we meet are getting fewer and fewer. I haven't seen you for three days- Friday, Saturday, Sunday. 

You said you were busy with studies. 

I highly doubt that because you never study early before an exam. Exams are next month. But I didn't wanna question you too much because... I'm not your girlfriend anyway.

"Love you," you blurted out, last week, when we were randomly talking about music.

I felt my stomach churn and didn't know how to react so I just laughed awkwardly then asked you, "Did you hit your head?"

"I was hit by your love," you said.

"Damn. Don't mess with me like that," I mumbled, looking down my muddy converse, hoping to hide my feverish face behind my hair. My eyes couldn't look straight back at you anymore. 

"You should say I love you back because you're my bestie," you casually replied. 

"Okay, love you, bestie," I answered, looking at the tiny mud stain on the chest of your red hoodie. The word "bestie" didn't want to come out of my mouth. I didn't want it to but it did. You smiled and so I just accepted the fact that I have just been... bestfriendzoned.

 It fucking hurts, to be honest.

God, I hope we are the kind of best friends who fall in love along the way or maybe we can never be that... because I  have already fallen for you. I don't know how it happened but I know it did.

All I want to do right now is go to your house, hold your hands, and tell you what I feel.

But I am too scared.

I don't want to fuck our friendship up. I have to be sure about what I feel before I profess, I guess.

Maybe, I need time away from you. Maybe, this distance you are giving me is for the better.

But, damn, I don't know what you are thinking and why you have been avoiding hanging out with me. It's crazy.

I

am

crazy.