Because the last time I loved this hard and fast the other person didn't and I was destroyed. Like a cliche 80s movie but at the end the guy still doesn't pick her kinda destroyed. I just don't want that again and honestly I already love you more than I ever loved him. Thinking you don't deserve love is a learned response and I am trying my best not to "wallow in self pity" but when you've been told you're worthless and going to die alone what else is left to believe. Our own best friend doesn't even believe well last. Maybe it's too early to even care if we'll last but from the very beginning of this I was yours and I don't just date to date I date for my future however much of that I may have. I am terrified you'll never love me that way. I'm terrified you'll never understand why I hold on so tight.
12:11 AM 10/21/19
He does understand. He's amazing even on the days he makes you cry. Don't doubt your heart. 4/23/2020
I wish I could still love like this and with someone who understands loving someone like this. Love can happen in just a few days. Love can happen in minutes. Love is found in the spark between people. My first reaction to these entries is "yikes how naieve of you to think you can love people so fast" but I wish I could still do that. I think I love fast now but damn back then I was so open to love people. So quick to see the good in everyone. Now everything seems so much more dim. I was right to be so scared back then. I didn't know what was coming. I still hold on just as tight. I hope one day I find someone who loves like I do. Hard, fast, and forever. 8/28/23
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Stone Fox Diary
No FicciónPoetry thoughts and ramblings dating back to at least 2019. This is a journal that builds on itself as time goes by. Every now and then I come back, read what I've written before and make comments about it. Sometimes I just comment on what's written...
