He Who Conquers Others Is Strong, He Who Conquers Himself Is Mighty

Time To Go

Two days later....

It was January 24th. The day before my due date. The day that J was leaving for Minneapolis. 

I was sitting on our bed with Winnie as we watched him to-ing and fro-ing around the bedroom. "have you got enough pillows sweetheart? You comfortable?" he fussed as I shuffled a little. "I'm fine J" I smiled at him as I looked up at his crystal blue eyes. He looked worried, and let out a small sigh. "stop worrying!" I laughed lightly, "we'll be fine" I added, knowing no matter what I said, it wouldn't settle him. The guilt was more and more evident in his face as each day passed and we got closer to the day he was leaving. "When is Amelia coming?" he asked me as he raised my hand to kiss it. "tomorrow night- after work. And she'll be here until you get back" I told him, making him nod. He sighed again, just staring into my eyes. "you have to go J. It's your job" I told him. "yeah and it sucks right now" he pouted, dropping down onto the mattress beside me. "I'm so scared you give birth and I'm not there." he sighed, "that I miss the birth of our first baby. That I'm not there for you. When you need me the most" he added. I felt tears well up in my eyes but I blinked them away before he saw me. "Julian, it's okay" I gripped his hand tightly. "Amelia will give me a hand if I need anything. And we will call you if anything starts to happen" I assured him. "But I have a feeling the little guy won't want to make an appearance without his Daddy there" I smiled, placing his hand over the top of my bump. 

Julian let out a shaky breath, as he sniffed away his own tears. Smiling down at my belly he smooth his rough crinkly hand over it, like he had done a million times before. "I hope he doesn't..." he whispered. "I don't want to let you down" 
"J, you aren't letting us down!" I exclaimed softly, turning a little more to face him. I grabbed both of his hands and made him look up at me. "You do what you do because you love it. You do what you do because you're the greatest at it. And you do what you do to provide for your family and to take care of us- and we will always be grateful for that" I promised him. "Your mum raised one hell of a man. I'll never get tired of being thankful of that. I'm so lucky to have you. And so is he" I said, glancing down at my belly. "he's so lucky that he's going to have such an amazing Dad. And I know what it's like to not have that" I said, looking back into his watery blue eyes. "baby...." he whispered, pulling me closer to him, so close in fact I ended up sitting on his lap. His forehead gently resting against mine as he took a slow deep breath. "From the moment I met you, I knew I didn't deserve you. And I certainly don't deserve that little baby in your belly" he whispered. "our little baby" I smiled back at him. He let out a gently chuckle, "our baby" he corrected himself with a smile. "I'm so lucky to have you both. And I never wanna do anything to jeopardise this. Anyone that tries to get in the way of us, they're going down" he told me, making me want to giggle. "and they're staying down. No one is messing with the Edelman's." 

............

"oh man..." Julian huffed as he wheeled his luggage into the living room. "I gotta go pick up Dola" he said miserably after checking the clock on the mantle. I pouted at him as he stood there by the door looking at me. "don't babe. This is so fucking hard to do right now" he said, his mood from earlier still holding strong within him. "you'll be with me again soon enough" I promised him, moving to slide my arms around his waist. "not soon enough baby" he groaned as his lips found their way to my neck. "hmmm, J don't start that" I sighed as my eyes fluttered closed. "I'd never let you leave the house" I added, making him chuckle against my skin. "I could live with that" he mumbled, still littering wet kisses down my neck. My grip on his shirt tightened. "oh my god Julian! Stop!" I squeaked out- not really meaning it of course, but we both knew this wasn't going to end the way we wanted it to. 

"you've never told me to stop before" he pouted, pulling away from me. I rolled my eyes, "You need to go get Danny, and you can't leave a heavily pregnant lady panting with lust" I whined. His darkened eyes bore into mine, "you know I'd stay here til the job is done babe" he almost growled at me. "but you can't! You'll be late" I warned him. He huffed angrily yet I couldn't help but smile at him, biting my lip to hold back my giggle. "use all that pent up sexual frustration on the field" I playfully winked at him. He shot out a sharp breath out of his nostrils and I giggled. "I love you Julian Francis" I smiled, reaching up to wrap my arms around his neck. "I love you too wife" he smiled back at him, embracing me too. "good luck" I whispered. "thanks Short stack." he replied, pulling away. "Wish you were coming with me" he said, "me too, but there's a very good reason why I'm not" I beamed, rubbing my stomach. J grinned and bent down tot eh floor. "look after your mama little one, I love you" he whispered to my bump. He pressed a kiss to it before standing up again. 

"call me the second you need anything, get Amelia to call me. You know the hotel we're staying in- I'll call you when I get there and my room number if you can't get me on my cell" he told me, as I nodded along. "I will, I promise. But I'll be fine! Just go and slaughter them" I said, making him finally start grinning. "just for you babe" he chuckled. "I love you." 

"I love you too" I smiled back at him. He pressed a kiss to my lips before searching the room around us, "don't you make me feel any worse than I already do!" he whined as his eyes landed on Winnie. I turned to see her sat on her bed, giving him her sad eyes. She knew he was leaving and like the rest of us in this house, she was good at pouting. "I will be home soon sweetheart" he said, kneeling down to her. The two of them still had my heart. "I'm gonna miss you too" he said, pressing a kiss to the dog's head. She let out a whine on cue and Julian sighed. "you're killin' me girl" he said softly, resting his head on hers. "look after your mama for me Win. I'll see you soon" he said, kissing her once more before he got back up.

He paused, standing by the door, just looking back at me with sad eyes. "just go J..." I whispered with a small smile. He sighed, but smiled at me, "see ya soon Short stack" he finally said. I smiled and nodded. "see you soon Hot shot" I replied and watched as he disappeared around the front door.