Breaking the Fantasy (Polyfidelity)

Chapter 34 - Fast Foward (Part 2)

Chapter 34 - Fast Foward (Part 2)

(lovely By Billie Eilish and Khalid pictured above.)

Elliot's POV:

4 Months Later

It was a breakup unlike many others. No communication, no closure and no real ending to the relationship, yet all the heartbreak was there. I tried to keep myself together and so did Alex, but we didn't do that well. He spent a lot of time talking to Lana about our relationship and I think it was helping him.

He kept the letter that Saville had left, the last remnants of him. Our calls went to voicemail, our texts were undelivered. It was the final piece that showed how determined he was to block us out. I don't blame him, at least not for blocking us. I don't even really blame him for leaving, I just hate the way he did it.

I wished I could have talked to him, we could have discussed what was happening. Then again, that sounds like I would have tried to talk him into staying. This is probably what he left the way he had. He didn't want to be convinced he was doing things wrong. I think he knew he was.

Over the past months, I went back and forth on whether Saville had loved us. He was the only one that got the chance to say it, and he didn't, he wrote it. Alex sent him so many texts saying he loved him, and I may have sent a few myself.

It was an awful feeling knowing that he hadn't told a person how you felt, especially when you couldn't speak to them again.

I'm sure we could have flown there. We could have hopped on a plane and ran after him, but there's one problem. This isn't a movie. Saville may be a movie star, but life doesn't work like a romcom. He didn't want us chasing him, his letter stated that in so many words. While his reasons was unwritten and his feelings were clouded from our knowledge, I believe he loved us.

In his own fucked up way, he loved us and thought this was the best option. Mason had very little to say when he found out his blond friend had left. I think everyone at the club had seen his departure coming.

In truth, it was Alex and I's own fault for believing we could nail down a celebrity. We never truly had a chance at calling him our's, especially when the whole world does.

Every time I look at the couch in the living room I think of our nights spent watching his old show. He hated watching it, yet he never complained that much when we fangirled about it. We would watch so many things, comfortable in each other's presence. It sucked to know that those evenings, and the mornings that followed would be gone.

A lot of people say that when you break up, it's the routine you miss, not the person. But, we didn't have a routine, and I deeply miss my puppy with his wife eyes.

It was early morning, rain falling over the city when I rolled out of my empty bed. After taking a few minutes in the bathroom, I walked to Lana's room and saw Ali passed out beside his sister. I simply smiled, and covered him and his sister's body with blankets. Lana had finally become a welcome guest in our home, and had been staying here for the past few months.

She's moving out in the next two weeks, so Allie was spending as much of his time with her as he can. This is the longest Lana has ever been clean, and I'm pretty sure Sav's influence there hasn't helped Alex with his closure.

When I walked out of the apartment on my way to work, I thanked god it was Friday. It was date night and Ali and were planning a trip to the movies than maybe fooling around at home. It's been over a month since I've touched my Husband sexually, and I refuse to let if go on any further.