Breaking the Fantasy (Polyfidelity)

Chapter 19 - Mixed Glass

Chapter 19 - Mixed Glass

Saville's POV:

A whimper leaves my lips, while I hold back the moan that also begs to be released. The large fist wrapped painfully around my junk reminds me why I'm putting myself though this test.

Last night changed a lot of things for me. While it might have looked like a simple slap, and it was, it was also the slap heard around the world. In the past few years, I have made so many mistakes... I married an abusive cheater and I comprised who I wanted to be.

Even though I can't ever truly erase those mistakes, I can attempt to repair some of the damage. Attempting to reintegrate back into the BDSM scene is one those corrections. After what happened between Eli and Alex, I realized, I only ever thrived or felt good about myself when I was being dominated.

You might think this is weak, but I no longer care. I feel best when I have someone to relinquish control too. Submission isn't about pain or even just lust... its about trust. Though Master Kristophe scares me slightly, and even though my cock and balls burn from his grip, I trust him.

I never trusted Gillian like this, and I thought that was ok, because I wasn't going to be his sub. I thought being his husband was a different kind of trust, a different kind of commitment. It wasn't.

While I may never marry again, I find myself drawn to submitting more and more. Kneeling in front of Mason felt good, even Master Kristophe's eyes on me feel good. I don't care what people want to psychoanalyze about me, this is who I am.

Call me weak. Call me pathetic. But I'm rich, successful, and getting happier and happier the more I do it.

"That's enough Master Kristophe!" I hear Kody speak out loudly, finally making the strong man relinquish my privates from out of his grip. I follow his black combat boots over to where Chase is kneeling waiting for his Daddy.

"You passed, Sav, you can relax. I only need you to fill out a few things in my office before we can enjoy the night." Mason tells me, pulling my chin up so I look him in the eyes.

I smile widely at him, as I move to follow him out of the room. Kristophe and Chase disappear quickly, but Kody remains with us as we walk to the office. As I pass the entrance to the club, I'm taken back when I see the slight shag of blonde hair.

Their both wearing leather pants and no shirts. Eli stands just a bit taller than Alex, yet they both radiate dominance. It's a brief glance but yet I manage to meet with their own eyes. Leaving my face blank, I force myself to turn away and back to the matter at hand.

________

Throughout the meeting with Mason, my mind is constantly drifting towards the honey-eyed man and his blond haired husband. I wish I could say that their tempting appearances weren't enough to trap me. I wish I could say I was strong enough to turn them down if they asked to fuck.

The truth is that when I was with Eli and Alex, either fucking or just hanging out... I felt good. After years of being put-down, and treated like your less than... you start to believe it.

Yet, whenever I was touching the those two, they made me feel safe and cared for. I hated them for it. They gave me a taste of what I wanted when I got married, and now I can't have it again.

Sure, I could go back and hop into bed with them, but things have changed.

They're lives are intertwined. Maybe I didn't understand it in the beginning because of the shitty marriage I watched growing up. Or it could be that my own marriage was spent in two different room, in two different mindsets and with different morals. I didn't completely 'get' how someone else's family becomes yours.