The Only Reason (Muke)

Chapter 4

Luke's POV

Soon enough we arrived to a small club Ashton likes to go to, since he's the one begging us to get drunk we let him pick the place as long as it wasn't an old, musty place that smells like pee and sweaty feet.

"Okay guys I got this" Ashton is so loud can't he just stop for a sec?

"Ashton can you stop being so fucking loud before I duck tape your mouth?" Calum asks Ashton clearly irritated, at least he seems to agree with me.

"Stop harassing me bitch!!" Ashton screams back, obviously trying to make Calum mad. Or all of us. 

"Can we just get out and start drinking?" I ask impatiently, it's been a while since I drank properly. Michael being the only one listening to me again, opens the door getting out and held a hand out for me and start walking towards the building with Calum and Ashton bickering loudly behind us.

When we get to the doors Ashton whispers something to the guard and lets us in without asking for our age or IDs. Stumbling through the mass of people, I look around.The club is decent, nice bar, nice lights, nice music, now let's see how the drinks work.

"Let's get drunk!" Ashton yells over the loud music and I swear to god if Ashton doesn't stop screaming, I'm gonna shave his hair.

We order the first round of shots and I feel the familiar burn in my throat starting to relax my mind, and looking over to Michael he seems.. Disappointed? I don't know but right now I don't care.

Michael's POV

Okay so so far, Ashton's had 8 beers, too many shots of vodka to count and is completely drunk out of his mind, yet he got even louder than he was before if that was even possible. I bet he won't be happy when I blow a horn in his ear tomorrow when I wake him up, karma's a bitch. Calum's had 2 beers, so he's not remotely close to being drunk, I bet he's just here for Ashton to shut up which is not working. And Luke, Oh God, Luke's had I don't know how many cups of random mixes of alcohol and shots, beer, how is he even alive?

What if he dies? No.. God Michael you're such a paranoid.

Suddenly someone pulls me out of my chair making me yelp in shock and towards the dance floor where people are grinding on each other. I look up  barely able to see Luke giving me a goofy grin, more like a drunk smile, I don't even know.

"Dance with me Mikey," he pouted and moved my arms around making me smile.

"Okay," I pretty much don't have a choice but to agree.

"Michael! You still have to dance with me!" Luke stuck his bottom lip out and put on those big blue puppy eyes I love.

Not love pft, I meant that I find adorably cute. No no.. Those big blue puppy eyes.. whatever, I Michael G. Clifford have feel- do not have.. God I need a break.

"You're not dancing, sooo Hey! Can we talk mikey? Like outside? Like not inside?" Luke slurred not making much sense and without letting me answer he grabs my hand and quickly walks, more like stumbles through the crowd towards the door, his touch burning my skin, leaving it tingling. No. No. No. I didn't mean it that way. Must be the alcoholic and smokey atmosphere...Why does he do this to me? How?

When we get out, I take a big breath of fresh air. Finally, it smelt like old armpit in there 

"Michael," Luke whined

"Luke," I mocked smiling at his pout, then he suddenly pulled me by the wrist tightly, I winced and to my fucking luck he noticed and furrowed his eyebrows staring at my bracelet covered arm.

"You-y-you relapsed Mikey?" Luke mumbled with tears threatening to spill and I just stayed silent.He can't know. He won't know. Ever. If I told him he would start cutting again, and I can't take that, Yes he's stopped cutting I've been making sure he doesn't do it again, I check him and make sure he knows he's worth more than he thinks he is. I can barely handle myself, and Luke doesn't need to suffer because of me. If I told him right now he shouldn't remember but there's a chance that he would.

I can't risk it.

"No, you know I wouldn't do that Lukey," I lied and there was a flash of doubt on his face but quickly changed to relief.

"Good cause, youu Mr.Clifford are perfect," he slurred walking closer to me than ever while pointing a finger at me poking my nose.

"Luke I'm far from perfect," I whispered while looking into his beautiful blue eyes, they are too beautiful to be this dull.

He didn't respond he just wrapped his arms around me, his chest so close that I could feel his heart beating abnormally fast. He then whispered back in my ear with alcohol smelling breath, "To me you are,"

Before I could reply I felt a pair of cold chapped lips against my soft ones. I couldn't kiss back, I was shocked, and this was my bestfriend I'm talking about, my boyfr- I mean brother! Was this happening? Luke's just too drunk, he doesn't know what he's doing and if he did he wouldn't kiss me. He's making me feel something I'm not supposed to, and the only way to stop it is by punishing myself, distance myself, and get away from him.

That's exactly what I'm gonna do, so I gently push him off and stare at the ground, wanting to look at Luke.

"Let's go inside, yea?" I said

"But-" Luke tried to say something  with a quivering voice but I cut him off.

"C'mon," I said while I pushed him back inside, still not being able to look at him.

I just want to leave this world and not look back. Hopefully soon.