The Only Reason (Muke)

Chapter 9

Michael's POV

I finally calmed down and realization hit me, I was in Luke's arms.

No, I can't do this to him. I can't do this to myself. But then again the only thing I wouldn't do to myself would be love.

I push myself off his arms and back away from him, looking down at my shoes not wanting to see his face.

I can't do this to him, I don't deserve him. I mean.. Look at me.

I was stupid for thinking one day I could wake up next to Luke, in his arms, being able to hear his morning voice, watch as his eyes flutter open as delicately as a butterfly  flapping its wings, watch his beautiful face shining bright against the moonlight, angels envying his perfect complexion.

I am stupid, Everyone has been making sure to remind me of it even though I don't really need a reminder.

"Michael," Luke choked.

I look up and meet his eyes, dull green eyes meet broken blue eyes.

Funny how we both have lost the sparkle in our eyes, I'm numb and completely broken beyond repair but he's just.. Broken, he can be fixed.. He still has hope somewhere deep inside him, and I know he's denying the hope to take over his heart. Once I'm gone he'll be fine, Luke's a strong person, he may seem weak but he's one of the strongest people I've ever met, emotionally I guess.

He'll be fine.

"D-Don't do this to me Michael," He stuttered, slowly walking over to me only to be stopped by me.

As much as I hate doing this, this is all there's left to do.

"Just.. Leave," I ordered him, looking away and pushing him by the chest. I'm such a wimp. I've been crying nonstop.

It's got to stop.

I'm gonna make it stop.

"No no no please Michael don't do this to me. I need you and I'm sure as hell you need me too, you're the only thing keeping me sane, just help me and let me stay with you," Luke managed to say.

"Ha! me need you? You need me? Bullshit!" I spat.

"Stop it Michael, stop,"

"Little Luke all innocent, poor Lukey, need me to hug you and feed you cookies?" I snorted.

"Michael stop, this isn't you, please," Luke stumbled back, hurt across his face stuck like glue.

"Since when do you get to decide who I am huh? You know Luke I did want to die, I sure do so why don't you just fuck off and leave me alone in peace!!" I screamed not as loud as yesterday since my throat was still swollen.

He just stood there shocked, looking at me with wide eyes.

"You weren't there yesterday were you? Of course not!" I remind him.

"I'm sorry Michael, I love you. I've always loved you, give me a chance!" Luke begged.

I can't believe him.

"Get out! Leave me alone!" I screamed as I pushed him out of the room, slamming the door behind him shut.

I let myself slide down to the ground, leaning on the door with my head in my hands.

I'm done.

Luke's POV

He just, pushed me out.

Am I not good enough? 'I'm done' I heard him whisper, so much meaning behind it. He's done with me, with feeling, he's done with life. I wish it could be that easy for me. What am I supposed to do leave him alone and cry myself to sleep? or just beg until he opens the door?

I knock on the door waiting for a response that I know won't happen. I knock again, louder this time.

No answer.

I suddenly feel a light tap on my shoulder and look back to see Calum with a sympathetic smile on his lips.

"Give him some time," he whispered.

"Cal I-I can't. You don't know how much I need him, how much I hate seeing him like this! I just can't," I broke down.

"I know Luke," He whispered as he pulled me in his arms.

"You don't," I muttered.

"I know," he choked, a tear falling from the corner of his eyes.

I wipe it with the pad of my thumb.

"Where's Ashton?" I asked him, looking around trying to change the conversation away from me and Michael.

Then he broke down, sobbing uncontrollably, not wanting to pressure him I just comforted him, while his and my heart shattered, crumbling down to the floor.

We're all so messed up.