The Only Reason (Muke)

Chapter 6

Michael's POV

Fuck.Fuck.Fuck.

He knows, he fucking knows, Luke knows! Fucking Calum knows! Does Ashton? I guess so.

He's not supposed to know, no one is supposed to know.

"Fuck!" I yell looking around, not knowing where I am. I just ran and ran not looking back, and somehow ended up in a kind of pond surrounded by a lot of trees. Since we're on our Christmas break, it's cold as fuck and there's snow everywhere.

Why? Why?! He can't know but he already does. Why is everything so fucked up?

"What did I ever do to you?" I whisper up to the sky as if god was listening to me, pft. Of course he's not listening to the shit I am.

"M-Michael?" Calum. What the fuck is he doing here? I just want to be alone, Why can't he leave me alone to die? I want to fucking die! Why can't they let me be happy? I'm not happy.

I need to die to be happy.

"Michael," he sighed in relief, running towards me and pulled me into his arms.

Well shit.

Calum's POV

Thank god I found him. I thought he was asleep. I shouldn't have tried to tell Luke, it's not my place to tell, if Michael hasn't told him I shouldn't either. I know Michael cares for Luke, I know he likes him as more than a friend, he didn't have to tell me,I can see it.

"Oh my fucking god Michael you are freezing!!" I pulled away to see that Michael didn't have a jacket on and he wasn't looking at me but qt the frozen pond next to us.

"C'mon let's go home and order some pizza yeah?" I smiled trying to get his attention and pulled him by his wrist, his body trembled and visibly winced. My smile fades and I cover my mouth with my hand in shock as I look down to see blood streaming through Michael's bracelets onto the white snow. Standing there completely shell shocked I can't get any words out and Michael fast walks past me not looking back while tears prickle my eyes.

"Michael," I choke out and break into sobs as I run towards Michael.

When I finally reach him he's sitting down in a rock with his head down in shame letting snow pour over him, then stands up and starts walking again in the direction of the house we're staying in. I reach out to grab his shoulder but he dodges my hand still walking at the same pace.

"Michael, look at me," I demand but he's not looking back, he's still walking. I turn him around and he's still not looking at me, cheeks and nose red, purple arms from the cold, white hair matching the snow, green dull eyes, no sparkle, no emotion, just broken and lifeless. Why won't he look at me?

"Look at me," Still doesn't.

"Look at me damn it!!!" I scream out of frustration. I get that it's hard for him but I already know, he can't hide it anymore, not from me.

"Fuck off," he says in mono tone, not moving an inch.

"Michael you can't hide this from me! Don't tell me to fucking fuck off when I know you're not okay!" I respond loudly.

He doesn't answer. Before he turns around and starts walking again all I see is a stray tear running down his cheek.

~

We finally found the house, well actually Michael found the house since I've been following him around for the past hour. I haven't tried talking to him, I don't really want to pressure him even though it frustrates me.

When we reach the door Michael opens it leaving it open and quickly running upstairs shutting the door.

"Michael!" I hear Luke banging on Michael's door while I take my soaking shoes and jacket off.

I look around and at the clock, it's 6:30 already, we were walking around way more than I thought.

"What happened?" Asks Ashton from the couch with a bowl of popcorn and a sad expression covering his beautiful features.

"Nothing," I answer as plop down on the couch and snuggle up to Ashton immediately finding comfort and calmness. We've been dating for a while now and no one actually knows, but I'm happy and I love him.

"Okay," he sighs, I love that about him, he doesn't pressure me on telling him things, he understands that if I don't tell him, it must be something that must be kept.

"You're cold," he pouted. "And wet," he grimaced.

I hum in response not bothering to change my clothes as I fall asleep wiping away the pictures of bloody wrists and Michael's lifeless broken eyes.