Kangst one-shots

Bittersweet Memories

A/N: Sorry for the long wait, I'm currently working on part 2 for petals, the team's perspective. Well more like Lance's perspective.

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His eyes widened, their breath quickened, tears spilling past his eyes and down his cheeks. His body trembled in horror, Their mind drowning with begs that he was hallucinating, that it was just some sort of sick nightmare.

No

He refused to believe what he saw before him. He shut his eyes tightly, bringing his knees to his chest.

Please, don't let this be real

He could deny it all he wished to, but he knew full well that what lay before him wasn't some sick dream, it was reality. A reality that tore his already battered heart to shreds.

Why?

His breath shuddered, as he took in what he'd just witnessed. His lover, his light, tangled in bed with another. The two were fast asleep, sweat still lingering on their bodies, the blanket barely covering them. Their clothing lay in heaps on the ground of the dark spacious room. The room stunk of sex and sweat, of passion and lust.

His chest ached with a pain so unbearable, it made him want to drop to his knees and weep. Drop to his knees and scream, for what remained of his damaged heart had been wrenched from his chest and stomped on.

His mind returned to all the times his lover, his reason to stay, held him so tenderly, so close. Looked at him like he was all that mattered. He thought of all the sweet little nothings they whispered to him. The passion they held when they made love. The violet orbed male couldn't help but question.

Was it all a lie?

He'd let them in, let his walls come down. The raven-haired male thought he'd finally found someone to hold him, someone that cared.

He lowered his head, eyes staring at the ground. He stepped out of the room, closing the door quietly so as not to wake the two. His usual glimmering violet orbs, becoming a dull shade of purple. His tears had long dried, leaving dried streaks on his cheeks. He walked down the long columned corridors, welcoming the dark. His movements were mechanical, he was physically there, but his mind was elsewhere.

Why did I think that I could finally be happy?

He'd known all along that they'd leave, that they'd move on...eventually. Yet he clung to hope so desperately. The hope that maybe, just maybe. But he was disappointed yet again. He was hurt, pushed aside, yet again.

Is it really so wrong of me to want someone who cares?

His rosy lips quirked upward into a smile that didn't reach his eyes the way it normally should. Fresh tears sprung from the edges of his eyes, quickly making their way down his pale cheeks. His mind swarmed with contradictions, but as he stood there, looking back on everything, his resolve solidified.

His body began to move before his mind could clear. Taking long strides, he made his way to his room. Once inside he made sure to lock the door behind him.

The ravenette made his way to his bathroom, opening a drawer and grabbing ahold of a small polished wooden container. He opened it to reveal three small razor blades, all of which were sharpened.

Placing the box on the counter he moved towards the bathtub and turned on the water. stepping out of the bathroom, he waited for the tub to fill, grabbing his phone from the top of his dresser, he turned it on and went into his contacts. His finger hovered over a contact, but he hesitated.

What's the point in saying goodbye? No one would care that I'm gone either way.

The male took a deep breath in an attempt to calm down before shutting his phone off and returning to the bathroom. He shut the running water off, snatching the box from the counter after. Grabbing a blade from the container, he raised it to eye-level, watching as the light reflected on the small blade.

"I love you" He whispered, a look so tender in his eyes as he held him, "I love you so much." He believed him.

Where was that love now? Where did that tender look in your eyes go? When did I stop being your one and only? Why didn't you just tell me you didn't love me? Why did you have to play with me? Did I do something wrong? Was I just not good enough? That's a dumb question, Of course, I'm not. I never have been and I'm tired of trying. 

He made his way to the tub, stepping inside before slowly lowering himself into the heated water. His clothes quickly getting soaked.

"Your the best thing that's ever happened to me. Before you I was lost, I didn't know what was wrong or right anymore. I knew from the moment I laid eyes on you that you were different. Something about you just kept bringing me back, I crave you in every way, shape, and form. You're more than my friend, more than my lover, more than my soulmate, you're my everything." 

Your everything? Gods, I can't believe I fell for that. I can't believe I fell for his pretty lies, his soft touches, his sweet little kisses. I wanted oh so desperately for it to be real, I wanted to finally have someone beside me.

And I loathed it, I loathed how badly I craved the touch of another, how badly I wanted to wake up to someone holding me close. He gave me that, but it wasn't real.

His breathing quickened, his body trembling as the agony of heartbreak began to settle in and along with it came an all too familiar feeling of bitter acceptance. His lips tugger upwards, as he admired how the light glinted against the blade before bringing it down to his creamy pale skin. The blade was pushed harshly against his skin and swiped across his wrist in one quick motion. Crimson quickly poured past the open skin, dispersing into the water of the tub.

"I'll be yours for as long as you'll have me." He said, giving my knuckles a feathery light kiss. "I'll love you, now and forever."

It hurts 

Gods, it hurts

The corners of his vision began to darken, the colors of the wall's tiles blending together. Breathing began to feel like a chore, his heartbeat slowed with each passing second. Everything was dead silent, save for the dripping of crimson that stained the tiles of the bathroom floor.

Soon his eyes, once a vibrant shimmering violet, were nothing more but a dull purple. No signs of life remained in those once gorgeous eyes. He had breathed his last breath, and now he greeted death with open arms.