Venus (Book 2)

forest

people, they never understand, nor will they ever, the pain, my pain

my pain

I cannot breathe because of one word, I will shake and sob because of a simple sight

I see water

and suddenly

I'm picturing myself drowning,

cars

hit me

I'll walk, I'll walk

on the highway

hit me

fire

burn me

I don't care

wherever I am

I picture myself

dying in pain

the horrors of my past will always haunt me, haunt me, haunt me till I am on my knees, crying, swaying back and forth

no one, no one has ever seen

and I'm sure that no one will ever see

how miserable I really am

life, life, how great it can be

and how, how hard and horrifying it is

how much, I've gone through

which now means nothing

I am going through nothing

but my mind, my mind, no one will ever find the way to my mind

you, you will never understand, my thoughts

the images

I could cut people off, and forget they even existed, I could remember people, and cry days, nights, months for them

my own family, no, they don't know my mind, they don't look into my eyes, they don't even see,

they don't see, they don't see me falling, and not flying

and if, if, if I do fly, a big white cloud will meet me, this cloud, filled with happy memories, that my mind, my mind could only remember

there aren't many

but this cloud, this cloud, it played a trick on me

because then, it turned grey, dark grey, and it rained

rained shards of glass

it hit me

hit my great white wings, it cut my body, my face

and then, I was sent, falling, to my death back on the very place I despise with all my heart

in a hole, a hole that I've fallen in, I'll cry, these wounds

these wounds, they weren't just physical

but they scarred my heart too

and now, now I sit

sit in pain, looking around I see no one, no one but a person

and I

I just stare at this person

because I, I don't like this person

she looks just like me, she too, cries, she too, cuts and sleeps with sadness in her eyes

she walks towards me, I pick myself out of this hole, and I'll run

I'll run till my body falls apart