Venus (Book 2)

know

I ask why things happen to me 

why must I go through so much pain 

but it is life 

it is what it's meant to do 

life 

is full of pain 

no matter where I hide 

whoever's arms I'm in 

I'll still get hurt 

I loved someone 

I loved them with all my heart 

I tried my best 

to keep them 

but life tore them apart from me 

left me alone 

let me cry on my knees 

once they left 

everyone left too 

now I am truly alone 

alone in my thoughts 

yes, I don't think anyone cares

and if they do 

it's not enough 

I don't think you care 

you don't show it 

I know it isn't your fault 

but you did nothing 

how was I supposed to feel it? 

when you did nothing to make me feel it 

I only knew it 

and knowing 

didn't make me feel better 

it made me worse 

knowing you loved me but were not capable of showing it 

it hurt 

I am hurt 

and it isn't your fault 

see, I felt it 

I felt it and I knew it 

I knew things would not work 

but I only tried because of you 

you made me fall 

I did not want to fall

and the other...

the moment I saw her 

I told myself

this is gonna hurt, and it's gonna hurt real bad 

my heart warned me away from her 

yet 

again 

I never listened 

I ignored my heart until she broke it 

until I was trembling on the floor 

holding a blade in my hand 

blood spilling and staining 

I knew yet I did it anyway 

and you really don't know 

how much I hate myself for it 

I talked to them 

I shouldn't have 

it hurt my heart 

I felt the relationships building more and more 

how selfless I was 

I wish I could go back and scream at myself 

I knew they'd leave me and break me 

yet I still 

I still walked up to them 

I still wrote them letters

gave them sweets and gifts 

I hugged them 

I held their hands 

I kissed their head 

why did I do such a horrible thing? 

just for a little amount of love, just so I couldn't be lonely...

it was never worth it 

it only made me sadder 

and lonelier than I have ever been

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