Notoriously Yours part two: Forgive And Forget

Chapter One - Change

There is only about 4 more months left until Bryce gets out. I have been visiting him every Saturday. I love visiting him but I hate that I can't feel the warmth of his skin, I hate that I can't just kiss his lips firmly pressed against mine. The only plus to visiting him is getting to see his gorgeous face and hearing his smooth and calming voice. He reminds me so much of how he was when we first got together. This is how I know that he has changed back to himself. I just want to be in his arms, hearing his heartbeat as I lay my head on his chest. 4 months may not be that long but it definitely feels like eternity when you're dying to feel intimacy with the person you love more than anything.
I know a lot of people don't believe that an abuser can change but I have a strong that everything will be different this time. That's a feeling that has been missing every time I had ran back to him. Not only is my heart believing that he has changed, but my mind is too and that has to mean something.
Mark seems to believe that Bryce has truly changed so there's that, also. Mark and Cassandra should be skeptical but they have this same feeling that I have which means that he really has changed.
I have been marking off the days on the calendar for months, counting the days left until I can be in his arms again.
All the drama that we have been through has led us to this feeling that only good things can come from this point on.

—character view; Bryce Manning—

I really hope that Kimmy believes in me changing because I have. Being locked up has  certainly been an eye opener. I hate it here. Sure, the guys are cool, especially this dude named Deluca. Deluca also has a girlfriend that he's madly in love with. He's never put her through as much bullshit as I have Kimberly but the feelings we have for our girls shows that true love does exist. He's in here for trying to take his 3 kids from his bitter baby mama. Supposedly you can't pick up your kids without the other parent's consent. He said that they were good co-parents until he let her know that his now girlfriend was gonna start coming around the kids. Shouldn't the kids come first? Why is she worried about what he does in his life?
Deluca and his life shouldn't be at the top of my list of thoughts. It should be Kimberly Jade and that I'm ready to get out and be with her.
I miss sharing a bed with her, where she's laying her head on my chest as I play with her beautiful, long dark hair. I miss cuddling until we are asleep and her little bird peck kisses first thing in the morning because she doesn't want either of us to smell each other's morning breath. God, she is perfect. I should've never put her through everything that I had which is what had prompted me to change. I can't lose her again. I know she will continue running back to me every time I fuck up but I don't want that life anymore. I want a life where she feels comfortable with marriage and children with me. I want to give her the chance to the amazing mother that she would have been if we didn't lose our first one.
I still think about that little baby. I had a feeling that it was a girl. I was gonna name her Jada Rose because she would be as beautiful as her mother.
I know that I shouldn't use the miscarriage as an excuse for my abusive behavior but the longer I bottled the feelings I had about it for so long that I got aggressive. I know it wasn't Kimmy's fault but I just got so out of control. I should've been telling her all my feelings instead of holding them inside me.
I have acknowledged my faults, I know where I messed up which why I can honestly say that I have changed for the better. I am back to the man that Kimmy fell in love, if not, I'm better. I know I can't take the pain away but I will prove that it will never happen again.

—character view; Kimberly Scott—

Cassandra and I went to the mall to shop around and eat at the food court. We haven't to the mall in several months. Ever since we've fixed our friendship, we have made a routine out of having a girl's day once a week so that we don't have to call and text all day and night.
My parents and I are also on speaking terms again. They aren't the happiest about about me choosing to stay with Bryce but they are willing to give him another chance to see the change that I see.
This is the good life. This is the rainbow after the storm and the sunlight after the dark. This is the life that I have missed. The life that I had been craving for. The only thing that is missing is Bryce not being here every day.