{Criminal Minds} Spencer Reid x Reader

Broken hearts {Sad/Requested}

This story contains self harm and deep thoughts. If you do not like this type of material, please stop reading now. Thank you and have a blessed day 🙏🏼

Requested by: @LilShadowMac

Y/n. The bravest and most defensive out of all BAU units. Very cautious and keeps an eye out for everything. Little do they know, she isn't as charismatic as she seems deep inside. Spencer uncovers the truth.
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Spencer's POV:
She walked into the room just as confident as any other day. Y/n always seems happy and joyful, until it came to the cases of course. She always became serious after. Sometimes she would disappear and wouldn't answer her phone but she came back and told us that she had left it in her bag on accident while she was working on a case file.

I could never tell if she was lying or not. She never hesitated in any of her sentences but sometimes she'd be a little off.

I watched as she sat down with cups of coffee for everyone. We thanked her and she smiled with a, "No problem" slip past her lips. I smiled as well, she was so beautiful.

Y/n's POV:
I cleared my mind from the sharp pain coming from my arms. I drank my coffee and listened as Penelope told us about the next case in my home town, Wisconsin. A child murder. Most of the team doesn't know that I had a little brother once. He too was kidnapped and found dead.. Once Penelope found out, I pleaded her to keep quiet. I didn't want Hotch to feel pity for me as he had a similar experience but with his wife.

My mind quickly snapped back into trance as I heard Morgan call my name.

"Y/n? You alright there" He asked

"I'm fine, a small headache is all" I gave him a small smile and looked down at the file.

"The Sheriff states the kid was found with painted nails and combed hair. As far as this is leading to, the unsub appears to be woman" Rossi confirmed.

My body twitched. Something inside me snapped from its place and enraged me. Spencer seemed to take notice as he tapped my hand. My face softened as I turned to him.

"Your angry. What's wrong?" He asked concerned.

"What makes you think I'm angry?" I force a small giggle.

"You balled up your fists and haven't blinked since Rossi mentioned the unsub being a woman" He stated.

I looked at the team and saw they all had they're eyes on me. The anxiety I didn't know I still had started to build up. My head was spinning and my vision went hazy.

"Guys I'm fine. I'm serious" I tried to tell them.

"Wheels up in 30, L/n my office" Hotch announced before getting up with his stuff and walking out. I sighed in defeat as I knew they weren't gonna let this go anymore. Standing up I grabbed my stuff and looked towards the door to see Spencer looking at me in worry.

As I walked by him he stopped me.

"I know something's wrong, and when your ready to talk, please come and find me. I'd like to help in any way possible" He looked me deep in the eyes and began his walk towards the jet. I forced back my tears and walked into Hotches office.

"L/n, have a seat"

As I sat in the chair in front of him I felt my heart begin to race.

"Is everything alright? Do you have any personal problems I don't know about?" He asked.

"Everything is fine. Just a bit unwell today I guess" I replied.

"Do you need to sit this case out?"

"No no! I'm good. I think some time in the air and working could get me going" I nod.

"Are you sure? I don't want you to feel too distressed during this case. Reid did mention you being angry" He informed.

Shit.

"That was just a reaction time. Children murders always upset me, you know? How could anyone be so low to hurt an innocent child.." I sighed, "I'm sorry if I made you worry but I'm fine. Really. I know I can help on this case, being a woman myself might make it easier" I responded.

He nodded, believing me.

"Alright well we best be off before the jet takes off without us" He said standing up.

I smile and nod before standing up as well and walking out.
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WARNING GRAPIC⚠️

36 hours later

Pacing around my hotel room I could not stop thinking. We have less than 24 hours now and I can't stop thinking about the little boy that could possibly already be dead.

I hardly ever thought that way.

My body moved towards the bathroom where I quickly found a blade. Taking it towards my arm I dug a fresh cut on my arm. I only ever wore long sleeves. I silenced my whimpers and cried on the ground.

Why? Why him?!

I made another cut. Blood covered my shirt. I almost couldn't take the pain any longer. I let out a small scream of agony.

Before I knew it. The pain stopped. I looked at the door that was kicked down. Spencer and the rest of the team rushing towards me.

Spencer took his belt and tightened it around my arm. He then grabbed a bunch of towels to try and stop the bleeding. I slowly closed my eyes, feeling tired.

"No no no, stay with me Y/n! Keep your eyes open! Look at me, please look at me" Spencer pleaded.

It took all of my energy to force my head up and look at him.

"Stay with me now.. I can't lose you" He had tears in his eyes. His eyes then traveled down to my other arm. Scars of old cuts lay there. He then shed some tears looking back at me with pain. I knew he wanted to tell me something but before he could, medical help came. Picking me up and laying me on a stretcher. Spencer didn't let go of my hand.

"S-Spencer.." I choked out. He gripped my hand. "Stay.. p-lease stay with me.." I cried.

He looked over at Hotch who gave him a nod. He didn't hesitate to come along with me. He stayed by my side the whole time. Never letting go of my hand. A breathing mask was placed over my mouth making it difficult to talk to Spencer. I needed to tell him something.

"Spence.." I tried to say.

"Hey hey hey it's okay just try to rest alright? Your gonna be fine.." His eyes watered again.

"I-I.." The sleeping gas was making me tired.

"Shh.. sleep Y/n" His voice cracked.

"Spe-ncer, I l.. I love you"

Darkness..

THERES A PART TWO MY LOVES!!🤪