Wrong Number

Chapter 17

~Spencer~

I can't believe I'm dating Mia now. I definitely wanted to be in a relationship with her, but it's going to be hard being so far away from her.

I'm still a little confused with my feelings but I know I want to try this with her. Even if we barely see each other, we can still talk on the phone all the time. We're going to make this work.

My alarm clock goes off and I reach over to turn it off. It's time to get ready for work and of course I didn't get much sleep. I've been thinking everything over all night long.

I get out of bed and start getting ready for work.

~~~~~

"Hey kid, how was your weekend?" Morgan asked as I walked over to my desk.

"It was fine." I answered.

I didn't tell anyone about my plans for the weekend so no one knows about me going to see Mia.

"What did you do?" Morgan asked.

"Read."

"Really, you read all weekend? That's doesn't surprise me, but you didn't do anything else on your weekend off?"

I took a deep breath, I didn't really want anyone to know about my relationship with Mia yet.

"I went to see Mia."

"Wow, you actually went to see her? How'd it go?"

"Pretty good. We're, uh... dating now."

"Congratulations." Morgan said as he pat me on the back.

I smiled and laughed, "thanks." I just felt awkward now.

"Alright, let's head in there, we got a new case today. And you're going to tell me more later." Morgan said.

"Okay." I said, still smiling.

I sat down at the round table and I was already distracted. I remembered that Mia was going back to her college classes today and I'm a little worried about her.

I know she'll be fine and the guy that kidnapped her is dead, but I'm still worried abour her being on her own.

Garcia started passing out files to everyone. "Alright, we got a new case."

"Danny Savino, the floor manager at the Sapphire Lady Casino in Atlantic City, was found dead in his office this morning. Blunt force trauma to the head." Garcia said.

I tried to stay focused on the case, but I couldn't stop thinking about Mia. I'm worried about her going back to college today. I'm worried that we're never going to see each other. And I'm worried our relationship isn't going to work out.

I thought for sure this was going to work, but now all the sudden I'm second guessing everything.

"Reid." Hotch interrupted my thoughts.  "You still with us?"

"Yeah, sorry." I apologized. I needed to get myself together. I'm at work and I need to focus on the case.

This was going to be a long day. I just want this to work out and I can't lose her again.

~~~~~
Three days later...

I lay back on my bed and think this over one more time. Was this really the right thing to do?

I haven't talked to Mia for three days. She's been sending texts every now and then, asking if everything is okay. I feel terrible for not answering her back, especially when I said I would call her every night.

I've been a mess ever since I left Mia and it's effecting me terribly. I can't sleep, I can't focus at work, I can't function. I just can't stop thinking about her.

I think we rushed into this and it's just too much. I need to be around her and I can't. A part of me wishes we never even met, but the other part knows that it was the best thing to ever happen to me.

I think I need to do this.

It's going to break her heart. It's definitely going to destroy me but it's for the best.

I get out my phone and call Mia.

"Spencer?"

I missed hearing her voice so much.

"I'm so sorry, Mia."

"What happened? How come you haven't been answering my texts? It's been three days and I've been so worried."

I feel like such a jerk. I'm hurting her. I should never have done this to her.

"I'm sorry. I feel terrible. I just need... we need to talk."

"Are you okay? Did something happen?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, I just... Actually... not really. Mia, listen."

I paused.

"I'm so sorry I've been hurting you. I care about you so much and I..."

I froze. I can't say it. It will just hurt her more. But if I don't I'll regret it.

"I love you, Mia. And that's why I have to do this."

"Do what? Spencer, what are talking about? You never hurt me. I mean, I've been worried because you haven't talked to me for three days, but I care about you too. And I feel like everything is weird now. Ever since you left. I'm confused."

"Yeah. I've been thinking everything over since I left and I just feel like we rushed everything. I wanted this to work. I care about you and I don't want to hurt you anymore... I think we need to let go before we let things get any further."

My heart shattered. I didn't want to let go. I was in love with her. But this is for the best. At least that's what I keep telling myself.

"What do you mean let go?"

"I mean..."

I didn't want to say it.

"Break up."

"We've only been dating for four days. What changed?"

"It's just too hard to be so far away from you. I'm a mess and you're all I can think about. I feel like if we just cut our strings and go back to our lives then we won't drive each other crazy. I'm an FBI agent and I need to focus on my job. You have to graduate college. I want us to focus on ourselves."

"But... I thought we were going to work this out. Dating long distance. We had a plan. You can't just not talk to me for three days and then break up with me because you think it's going to fix everything. You're all I ever think about too. And if we break up, that will only get worse. I love you, Spencer. Just please don't do this."

Mia was starting to cry. Now I definitely hurt her. There was no way to make this easy. This isn't what I wanted. I just wanted to make it right.

I felt tears creeping up in my eyes. I just wanted to see her again and hug her. It kills me to do this over the phone. Or do it at all for that matter.

"I love you, Mia."

I moved the phone away from ear and hung up.

I felt sick to my stomach. I'm never going to see Mia again. I'm probably never going to sleep again. I'm never going to get her out of my head.

I love her and I pushed her away.

I lost her... again.

Goodbye, Mia...