Journal entry 5
Age: 14
what's up journal.
Okay so I have gotten sad my mom has gone out drinking more often. She comes home drunk and complains about being a horrible mother. It makes me sad to hear her say that.
Me and Colby have went to the arcade today. It was nice, until jackson (the bully) came to us.
He said "look at them they are fairy's" I was going to punch him but Colby held me back. Jackson laughed and kept saying slurs towards us, I couldn't take it anymore. I stormed out.
Colby followed me asking what's wrong.
I made a horrible mistake today..
I got mad at Colby. Saying I wasn't gay and that I didn't like him, but he just said "Sam I don't like you like that whatever jackson says doesn't matter just forget it."
For some reason that sentence hurt me.
"Sam I don't like you like that."
But that's impossible I don't like my bestfriend I'm not gay. I can't be, I'll get kicked out.
After he said that I punched him and walked off. I looked back once and saw Colby standing there.
I tried to contact him all day. No answer. No reply. I went over to his house but his parents said he wasn't there and to leave.
2:30 am.
Hey I can't sleep again..
I've been thinking. I just been thinking about Colby. I thought about the memories we had. I miss being around him. I miss his smile, his laugh, his eyes. Just everything about him.
....
I...
I then thought more and I realized..
I'm in love with my bestfriend.
