Entry 6
Age: 15
⚠️SLIGHT MENTION OF SUICIDE⚠️
Hey.. I came out to my friends. They accepted me but Colby ignored me for the day. He would give me small smiles but that's about it.
I'm scared he'll leave.
I might come out to my mom after school. Yes I bought my journal to school.
I was scared my mom would read it while I'm gone to school.
Got to go teachers coming.
4:00 pm
Hey, I just got home.
My mom seems in a good mood to talk so I'm going to tell her. I'm ready.
4:15
Hey... she-
She didn't accept me. She's gone drinking again. She yelled at me and said that being gay was a sin. That it was wrong. That I was a disgrace.
I.. I don't know how to feel. I feel alone. I feel like nothing..
7:30
My moms still gone. I can't stop thinking. It's not good thoughts...
I don't want to be here anymore the two important people in my life don't like me anymore.
What's the point..
I'm ending it tonight.
10:30 pm
Colby called. He asked if he could come over. I broke down, I said I was sorry.he said he is coming over.
I'll be gone by the time he gets here, hopefully.
So Colby. If you find this.
Know that your honestly the best person I ever met. We have had so much fun over the past 5 years. I'm sorry that you have to see me go like this. I really am. Thank you for all the memories. You made me feel safe and loved. I came out to my mom. She didn't accept me. I lost the most important person in my life, she goes out drinking now.
I hate it. I don't even see her for dinner anymore.
But Colby I love you, I really do. But I'm sorry I really am. Take care of your self. I love you.
Mom, I'm sorry I couldn't be the son you wanted me to be. I love you even if you don't love me. Thank you for taking care of me, I really am grateful for all the things you've done for me. Thanks for giving me food. Thank you for taking care of me for the past 15 years. I am sorry, for not being there when dad left. I know you tried to be my mother. I know you did. Your strong. I love you mom.
Goodbye
-Sam
