Boy of my dreams <<Mattia Polibio🦖

Part 29

It is 10am when we both wake up because of his parents.
The doctor said that he was fine and he can go home. We help him out of the hospital and hop in the car.
Nobody wants to talk so I stay quiet.
I look out of the window, the sun is shining but it feels like -3 degrees outside. We pass some different houses and when we finally arrive I feel very uncomfortable. All my stuff is with Hector. Shit. I'm so fucking done with this back and forth from Hector to Mattia and from Mattia to Hector.

I stand still, my hands in my pockets. I look to the floor and feel a hand on my shoulder.

„Thank you so much for staying with my son." His dad says with a little Italian accent.
I nod and try to smile.
His mother looks towards me and gives me a thankful look. She's so exhausted.
They walk into the house so that there's only me and Mattia outside.

„Thank you once again." He breaks the silence and I look up.

„You're welcome." I say under my breath in hope he doesn't hear my sad voice.
The thought of the kiss yesterday makes me feel embarrassed. He's a prick. He had a girlfriend behind my back. Maybe he still has one.
I can't let go.
I want to be with Mattia but there's this fucked up thing he did. Ugh.
I don't want to loose myself just because of his stupid actions.

„Do you want to st- stay? Or should I- I walk with you?" He stutters and to be honest that's a very good question.
Do I want to stay? Maybe I want but that's not a good idea. We will end making out with each other and that's the last thing I need right now although I want it... but I messed up with Hector. He probably never wants to see me again.
So what should I do?

„You don't need to walk with me, I will be fine." I chew the inside of my cheek.

„So you will go... back to him?" He asks slowly making sure not to piss me off.

I shake my head slowly. „Listen, I have to. I can't stay here Mattia. No matter how much I want to be with you... I- I just can't." I stutter but keep on talking. „I know how that will end again. Making out on your bed... and so on but I really can't pretend like nothing happened." When I finish, I'm out of breath.

„What do I have to do to make things right?! Please tell me!" He steps closer with a raised voice.

„I don't know Mattia! I-don't- know."
I say desperate.

„Then just forgive me!"

„I wish... and I really do, I wish I could Mattia." I whisper holding my tears back.

„Then- then why did you kiss me again? And I mean it wasn't only I stupid kiss. I know you felt the same way like I did."

„Mattia- I- I don't know why I kissed yo-"

„You know exactly why you kissed me!" He nearly shouts and I step away. I hate when he's like this. So angry...

„I- then why didn't you tell me?"

„Oh come on, I apologized so many times. I'm just a human being, I'm sorry for making mistakes." He says pissed.

What the-?
He can't be serious...

„Human being? Then tell me what kind of human would do that to his girlfriend?" He starts to piss me off.

„Look, I say that one last time... y/n, I am so fucking sorry. Please... just please try to forgive me!" He begs and raises his voice again.

„Oh god, can you just... stop shouting at me?! That sucks!" I complain and his eyes go wide.

„No, I get it... Hector right? You have feelings for him. Don't you? Don't you see he is just playing you?" He interrupts me again making me nervous.

I look to the ground again and let my tears out. Is there something I feel for him? Do I feel attracted to him?

„He's not playing me just like you did." I argument back. 

„Damn, can you stop?! Stop being like that! I know what I did and I told you how sorry I am and I would never... NEVER play you.
Y/n, please! Give me one last chance..." He begs and takes my hand, making me look up to him again.

No I can't. I can't look him in the eyes. I just can't. All I see are lies.

„I'm afraid Mattia." I whisper again letting him know.

„Then don't be, please." He whispers back, still not letting go of my hand.

„Let me please think about it." I let go of his hand and look at his sad face expression.
Is this even a good idea?

„Then Baby steps?" He asks hopefully and I can't help myself but nod.

„Baby steps."

He hesitates a little bit but hugs me very very tight. I need to process it first, that's why it takes me a little longer... but I finally hug him back.
I bury my head into his arms and there's it. This beautiful smell I missed.

„Can you stay here? With me?" He asks, making me sigh.
I'm still in his warm arms trying to answer. „Okay."

„Wow. How cute you guys."
I know this voice. It's- oh my god it's Jo.

I turn around pulling away from Mattia. It's been a while. I didn't see her what feels like forever.

„Don't be a pain and fuck the hell off."
Mattia says and steps in front of me.

„Oh don't worry. I won't tell her about your dirty secrets." She makes sure and I see the little bruises on the face from the party.

„I just want to talk to your... I don't know... what is she? Your girlfriend?"
This bitch can't stop provoking us. Can she?

„None of your business. So fuck off. I tell you one last time."

„I am not here because of you Mattia Duh." I step away from Mattias shadow and look at her.

„What do you want?" I ask calmly letting her know I'm not interested.

„You have to pay for this." She brings her finger up to her face where the bruises are.

„Jo. This is just what you deserve."

She lets out a laugh and rolls her eyes. „I give you 1 week to leave New Jersey."

„Or what?!" Mattia walks towards her and I try to grab his hand but he shakes it off.

He's only a few inches apart from her making me jealous. I stand behind them watching all this.

„Well, you will see Mattia." She brings one fingers to his cheek making her way down his jawline.

Instead of pulling away he literally does nothing. He just stares at her and looks her in the eyes.

„Goodbye Mattia." She whispers seductively and looks at me. „Oh and bye you right there. What was your name again? But remember '1 week'." She lets go off his cheek and start walking away.
Shut it you horny stupid bitch.

He turns around and I don't know what to do or say. She has influence over him.... a very big influence. As long as she has, we can't be together.
I can feel my anger boiling inside of me. She's a bitch and he knows. Why can't he just resist?

I step closer to him. „Baby steps? No, fuck you." I say pissed and nudge him a little before making my way to Hector.