The Devil In The Mirror

VI

"Come on, get up. We're here." Andy whispers into my ear, shaking me awake.
"Jesus Christ, what time is it?"
"5:30 pm." He answers as he picks up my bag for me.
"Andy, it's fine. I got it." I say, cracking my back and taking the bag from him. I readjust my beanie and walk off the plane to meet my band.
This was going to be one long ass tour.
~
Jinxx and I had already gotten our luggage, sitting at restaurant outside the airport, waiting for the others. I sip my Coca-Cola and stare at Jinxx. The way his ebony hair falls before his right eye, his pale, soft skin smoother than marble, and the charcoal eyeliner that lined his bottom waterline.
"What is it?" He asks simply.
"Everything about you intrigues me. I don't know why." I respond. He nods.
"I understand. It's almost the same with you. How your hair falls around your heart shaped face. The way your jaw clenches when you overthink things. It's quite interesting and extraordinary." He replies. I give him a small smile.
He really does get it.
"Hey you guys." Reiko says. I smile up at her.
"Hey niglet." I smirk.
"You look like shit." Alyssa comments. I shrug.
"We're on tour. I don't give a fuck."
"She looks fine, Lys." Cara says. Cara is our bassist in the band who doesn't talk much, but has a great sense of humor and music taste. I absolutely love her to death out of my entire band. Reiko and Alyssa agree I bring the best out in her.
"Well, the Lily has spoken!" Reiko smirks. We all call Cara 'Lily' after a nickname in a book favorite of ours. The main character's name is Calla. Hence, Lily.
"You guys are weird." Ashley says as he walks up to us. He gives me a look of disdain but I shrug it off. If he hates me, so be it.
"We know Ash." Alyssa nudges him with her elbow.
I then notice the way he looks at her. He's almost trapped in her spell. A look of longing. Love.
It's intriguing. The way they long for one another yet say nothing. They express it through actions; touching, playful.
I look beside me to see Jinxx noticing the same as myself. It's like Jinxx and I are interconnected. We notice the same things and think the same things. Twins, almost.
He is like my long lost brother.
~
"Alright, I think we should turn in." Jake says after we finish dinner. I nod and crack my neck as we all stand to leave. I feel the looming presence of Andrew Biersack beside me and quickly answer his demeaning and obvious question that lurks beneath his eyes.
"There is nothing between us. Jinxx and I just merely have a better understand of one another, of everyone, and of everything. An intellectual friendship based off of intelligence, personality, sarcasm, and respect. That is all. Besides, Andy, he's a married man and I'm a tortured woman."
His muscles relax and his jaw unclenches.
"I don't understand." He says, sighing. I close my eyes.
"I want to take you somewhere." I say suddenly. He watches me closely but I show nothing.
"Where?"
"Just follow me down the rabbit hole, dear Alice. You might just find some peculiar things." I whisper as I disappear down the street shadows.
~
I find the old, empty park from years ago and sit a bench, waiting for Andy.
I know he will follow. He's an obvious yet confusing individual. He unconsciously shows and doesn't show his emotions, thoughts, and ideas. It's quite frustrating for a person like myself.
But soon the tall shadow of Andy appears at my side.
"I've tumbled down the rabbit hole. Now explain." He says.
"I never have fully gotten over the traumatizing past that I have. It used to control me consciously. But I now find it lurks beneath the back of my mind, and it unconsciously sinks back in. I wake up every night with the same nightmare as before. I've done everything, and nothing works."
"That is why, I am a tortured woman. I am tortured by my past. It is disturbing and fascinating how my brain works. Yet I can't handle the disturbing factor of it. And I can't do anything about it. It haunts me."
He looks at me like he's staring into my open, naked soul.
"What happened that was so bad that has caused you to be so fragile yet so strong?" He begs.
"A boy I once loved and a woman who I once called mom."