The Force Awakens

Chapter 14

My surprise shifted to anger. Ben could feel it, like waves of heat radiating off of me. I wanted to strike back at him for what he had done to my friends. To our father. He stood there, daring me to do so with his stare. And I was never one to back down from a dare.

I switched on the lightsaber and rushed towards him.

Ben ignited his own blade and parried my attack. He countered; I blocked, then went in for another attack.

While my sword strokes were unpolished, it was clear I knew how to fight with hand-to-hand weapons. My blade smashed against his, over and over, never buckling, at times forcing him back.

I was also angry. I drew my power from the same well as Ben, my rage. And that would be the weakness he would use to defeat me. Kylo Ren had more rage than I would ever know.

He lashed out with his lightsaber, chopping and slicing. I deflected him but could not sustain her defense without stepping back. And back. And back.

"You're weak." He says to me. "But that could change." He speaks between each slash. "I can help you."

"You can't help others if you can't even help yourself." I tell him, continuing to block his attacks.

The world shook.

The detonations had reached the planetary core, inducing tectonic shifts in the continents and immediate changes on the surface. Trees swayed, and bent. An entire swath of forest was laid low. A giant fissure opened in the ground and swallowed most of it. Dust billowed out. Within seconds, I was standing at the edge of a cliff. I had no more ground to lose.

Kylo Ren pointed his lightsaber at me. "I could kill you, right now. But there is another way."

I snarled at him. "Enlighten me."

"You need a teacher," he said. "I can show you the ways of the Force!"

"'The Force'?" I repeated, sounding confused and exasperated all at once. I closed my eyes for a moment, then lunged at him again, more furious than before. And for once, Kylo Ren dueled an opponent who had more anger than he. Or maybe what fueled me wasn't anger. Maybe it was an emotion he didn't recognize anymore. Whatever it was, it took him down.

Staggering back to his feet, his parry could not match the strength of my swing. It cast his lightsaber out of his grasp.

Ren extended a hand, calling on the Force to ward off my attacks. At first it worked, as I slashed into the iron shield of his will, but then my blade cut across his face. It burned.

He looked up at me, his sister, whose lightsaber hovered over his chest. He shivered under the coldness of my stare. He who had been so eager to kill was not eager to die. Kylo Ren was afraid.

I withdrew from him.

Ren watched me walk back to Finn and Rey. I had the chance to kill him, yet did not. Did I think I was actually stronger than him? Or worse, did I pity him?

The ground heaved and fractured between Ren and the three of us. I did not look back at him, but he sneered at me. While the planet erupted around me, I knelt to cradle the body of my friends. I was such a fool. I would die here.

Rey stirred awake and I breathed out a sigh of relief. She crawled over to Finn and I, taking in the sight before her. She saw the cracks in the ground, but all she could look at was Finn. His injuries were bad, and we needed to find a way off Starkiller Base. We needed help.

And as if in cue, we hear a ship a few yards away, lowering down to us. I look over and see Chewie flying the Falcon. He lands and comes to our rescue. Hoisting Finn up into his arms and leading us back to the ship.

He places the injured boy carefully on a bed and Rey sits next to him. Chewie than quickly goes back to the cockpit to take off again. We can feel the ground breaking beneath us, telling us we need to get out of here. Fast.

I follow him in and sit next to him, taking the controls and lifting us up into the air towards base. Chewie looks over at me, seeing the pain in my eyes. He roars softly, telling me everything will be okay.

I glance over to him. "Will it?" I ask. He nods. "My brother just killed my father." I say quietly. "He murdered him in cold blood. Everything is certainly not going to be okay."

He roars again, telling me that he was sorry.

"And the worst part is," I continue. "I wanted to kill him. Ben, I mean. I wanted to make him suffer for what he did." Chewie looks to me, confused, but also understanding. "And before you say anything, I know that won't bring him back. I just let my rage get the best of me for a moment."

He then softly roars, telling me that no one is perfect and that Han loved me. He may have had a funny way of showing it, but he cared.

"I know." I say, moving to give him a hug. After all, he did just lose his best friend. "He stopped my rage." He turns his head and looks to me. "He forgave Ben, I felt it. I felt his forgiveness. And I knew I'd never forgive myself if I cause the death of someone I still care about."

He gives me a questioning look.

"Yes, I still care about Ben." I tell him. "He's still in there somewhere, and I will do everything I can to get him out. Until my last breath."