Meet Me

Prologue

If you loved me, why'd you leave me? All I need - no, all I want - is to not be alone.

You will feel the searing pain rush through your body. It won't stop until your heart takes a final beat. It might not even stop then. I won't feel bad as your blood washes upon the cold, hard ground. Now that's out the way, who wants to mess with me?

I don't know how to love. I want somebody to teach me. I'd scream it at the top of my lungs if it came down to it. I always imagined how I would meet my first love. My heart would flutter and I would know it was him. He would treat me with respect and not grovel me. He wouldn't make me cry. In fact, he would do everything to prevent that happening. Men are only complicated if you make them complicated. Love is only easy if you know how to do it.

Hate is easy. Easy to feel, easy to get rid of.

Fate is a bitch - pure and simple. Its sister, destiny, is even worse. She gives you expectations that you will never live up to. I want to learn how to live, love and laugh - like the signs in the shops say. Maybe that would be simple if I wasn't so cold hearted. I'm too confused now, too messed up. I lost my innocence long ago and continue to lose it.

My name is Kate Farah and I am unwanted. I live in a care home with my brother, Owen, and my best friend, Luisa. They are the only people I feel love for. But that love is different, not the kind of raw, unexpected feelings I'm searching for.

 I am afraid I will never grow sick of endless nights underneath covers. Dark nights, unseen faces and strange men. Money, pretend feelings and no commitment.