Meet Me

Chapter 25 - Who?

" I don't think she doesn't believe she can die. I think, just like you always did, there are things worth dying for." - Luke Garroway in City of Lost Souls

 After what seemed another lifetime of walking, Ash and I came across a group of zombies. They were pathetic things, almost dead anyway. Ash and I had nearly run out of bullets completely, so we decided to go around them. Somebody had gotten to them before us anyway. They just hadn’t killed them.

For some reason, I kept hoping one of them was Owen. I kept hoping he wasn’t dead. I kept hoping that he was still human. I was in denial. I was even denying that.

Ash took my hand, sensing something was wrong. What had I done to deserve such a kind soul? Sometimes, I wished I was just alone. I would end it all. Don’t ask me why. I guess I just don’t belong here anymore. I don’t want to belong, I am an individual. I am Kate Farah. Kate Farah doesn’t cry. I keep telling myself that, but how long would it be till I actually believed it? Never. There is your answer.

When we were a safe distance away from the cannibals, I asked Ash a question I didn’t actually know the answer to.

“Where are we going?” I asked, genuinely confused. Ash didn’t look at me as he gave me his answer. He even dropped my hand. I let it fall to my side, but then felt the urge to let it hold onto the gun. At least I would feel safer that way.

“To face your demons. Seeing as I have none, they have to be yours. We’re going to go to the prison. Together.”

“You’re such a rock.” I said, only half joking. “But a broken rock.”

“And you’re paper. You wrap round me so tight it keeps me together.” He said, unsmiling.

“Are we really having a conversation about rock, paper, scissors?” I guessed we were. Oh god.

We stopped when it became dark and decided to set up a camp. While Ash was out collecting sticks, I decided that I would try and find us something to eat. I hadn’t eaten in weeks and was so hungry I would’ve eaten a zombie. Could I do that? No, I guessed it would be like eating old chicken. Chewy, slimy and leaving you sick and ill.

Leaving our one bag where we had decided to set a camp up, I took my trusty penknife, still covered in dried blood, and searched the nearby bits of wood for animals or edible plants. You can imagine how surprised I was when I caught sight of a deer. An actual deer. Standing proud, it looked round for danger. There’s a lot of that around here, sweetie. I crouched low and wondered whether it was worth the risk to go and get my gun. If I moved, I would surely scare it away. But, it was also more humane to kill it with a gun. I decided against it and crept closer and closer to it.

Up close, it was clear to see that thus particular deer had been through hell and back. Its fur was ragged and its eyes were bloodshot. I couldn’t quite tell, but I think it was missing half of its tail. It could’ve just been me though. When it was busy snacking on the grass, I leapt forward and dug the penknife into its long neck. It scrabbled around and its eyes were now wide and bloodshot. It made a weird sound, but I ignored it. It was either me or her. I made sure that my body weight was on top of it before I slowly strangled it. When its legs stopped flailing about, I slit its throat to be sure that it was in fact dead.

Pleased with myself, I called for Ash to come and help me take it back to the camp. He was nowhere to be seen, but I could hear him running towards me. The grass swayed gently in the breeze as I waited for him to come and help me.

It wasn’t Ash.

Tall, messy hair, murderous eyes, blood stained clothes and a grin satin would be proud of greeted me.

“Hello big sister.”

I was the deer, scrambling around for my life and calling out in a panic.

Hands clasped round my mouth and a mass of weight held me down on my front. I could feel that Connor was straddling my back. He wasn’t taking any chances with me. In some ways, that was a compliment, in others it was annoying. I couldn’t breathe, but I tried and tried. I forced the air in and out of my lungs. It was painful, but death would be too. I clawed at the floor. I touched something sharp and I cried out in pain. It had been a knife. Connors knife. I heard him pick it up. I could faintly see him do it in the corner of my eye.

“Ash!” I screeched. Ash was still nowhere to be seen. Fuck boys, I was my own woman.

Momentarily deafened, Connor was distracted. I kicked him in the sweet spot and shoved him off me. Now able to get to my gun, I held it out in front of me. I started to wonder how many times I would do this before one of us was dead.

This would be the last time.

Connor was already on his feet, but so was I.

“I’m going to kill you one way or another, Katelyn. Believe me! I tried to be a good little brother for you, even now, but you were having none of it. I’m sorry I killed your pathetic friend. Is that what you wanted to hear? You will never hear me say it and mean it!”

Now I was angry. I yelled out, my own battle cry, and tackled him to the floor. He pulled my hair and tried to slit my throat with his knife. He was too slow. I slashed his arm and the blood immediately started flowing from the wound. It dropped onto my own skin and clothes. I wasn’t fazed.

I was unaware of the men surrounding us.

I was pinned, yet again, to the floor by a skinny man. He looked to be at least thirty. I didn’t know who he was, but he looked like Connor and Kyle.

“Dad…?”

"Mara..."

Almost immediately, he stood up and looked down at me. Unable to move, in shock, I stayed where I was. On the floor. Vulnerable. I wished Ash were here to keep me safe from my family… I was getting far too dependent on him. I shouldn’t be. I was my own woman, my own person. I didn’t need guys to help me through life – through this.

“It’s Kate, actually.” I corrected him – my dad. This was my dad, my fucking dad!

“Kate, Kate, Kate.” My name sounded foreign on his tongue. I wished he would stop saying it.

I had so many questions; he had so many answers. Now wasn’t the time. The time would never be here. Not in my lifetime, anyway. However long that may be.

“Is it actually you?” He asked. I wasn’t sure if he was asking me or himself. I didn’t notice him speaking. I barely knew this man who was supposed to be my father. I understand the circumstances and how it was way back when, but he hadn’t been there for me.  Neither had my fake parents.

Owen had, but Owen was gone.

Luisa had, but Luisa was gone.

A girl called Tessa, but Tessa was gone.

Believe it or not, even Drake had been there for me in the before.

And Kyle.

My first: Kyle.

My brother Kyle.

He was nowhere to be seen.