Luisa
I am running, I am tripping, I am about to greet death. I knew it before anybody else did. I knew it before Owen, before Kate.
A gunshot sounds and I am falling. I couldn’t keep up anyway. I gasp for air and I want to cling onto life. I heaved, trying with all my might to keep the oxygen going in and out of my lungs. I am in Owens arms, I know that. He is sobbing and I want him to stop. He is scaring me, not that he knows it. I hear Kate yell and screech. She doesn’t cry, though. Will she cry? I doubt it. Kate is strong and not so in touch with her emotions. I hope my death will knock something inside her crowded brain.
Her brain is a ten ring circus. Its chaos, but good chaos. Tigers are prowling, growling and clawing to be let out. When they are they are even worse. But, they are able to be controlled. Then there are the elephants. Big, intimidating, but harmless. There are the beautiful girls and the ringmaster. The ringmaster snaps at everyone and keeps things under control. He wants to keep everyone under control. His control. But, he has a family and cares about them. At home, he is a family man: kind and selfless. When they get home, the pretty girls take off their not-so clothes and cry. They hate showing off their body for payment.
“Just try and carry her, Owen. Please!” Her voice fades in and out. Her lovely italian accent, that I am in love with, is the echoing in my thoughts.
Somebody’s hand cups my cheek. It is damp and icy. Rain patters on my face. My surrounding blur in and out. There is no pain, the damage has been done and my body knows it is the end. It spares me the pain.
It had started to hurt. Not the wound, but the memories and the realization that I couldn’t stay on this earth any longer. The soil, mud felt like home. It shouldn’t, but it did. This wasn’t how I thought I would die. I thought I would die surrounded by adoptive family, or by my husband and children. I wanted to be an old woman. Grey and wrinkly.
Owen, don’t leave me
I couldn’t say it, I wanted to say it so desperately. I couldn’t speak, it was far too much effort. I wanted to speak, even if I had tried it would make no sense whatsoever.
No, I wasn’t ready for death! I was frightened! What was there beyond death? Loneliness, fires and nothing. I had never been religious, but I prayed now. I prayed that Kate and Owen would be better off without me. I also prayed that they would get some help – somehow.
Innocence doesn't die
I lost taste - it was all becoming real. There was no way I would ever taste Owens tongue again. I had done it so little times. I wanted to start over with him, say I was sorry I kept pushing him away.
Too late
I could no longer smell – I couldn’t smell autumn. Autumn smells like the first fire in the fireplace and beeswax candles on the dinner table as night’s darkness falls earlier and earlier. I remembered that smell so well. Smokey bonfires, apple trees, pickling spices. The calm before the storm.
Let me live!
I couldn’t feel his body against mine any longer. I saw him, but didn’t feel him. Owen, keep me close. Hold me, hug me, kiss me.
“Owen! TRY!” Kate exclaimed. It echoed all around me and I lost contact with Owens beautiful eyes. I could’ve looked in his eyes forever if I was allowed to. There were flecks of gold in them, I had counted them once. The last thing I saw were his eyes: wide, tears escaping from them. They showed desperation. To save me, probably. I loved him. I hope he loved me. I hope he grieved for me. Not for too long. I didn’t want him to spend his own last days grieving. I saw him place a kiss to my forehead, but didn’t feel it. I couldn’t…
My eyes must’ve gone dull, because the sobbing picked up even more. Voices of panic and confusion, desperation.
Talk to me. I love you. Both
“We have to leave her…” Kate trailed off, some kind of emotion in her voice. I wasn’t sure what. She would look after Owen, I was too sure of that.
They thought I was gone.
I’m still here! Talk to me! Please! Speak!
“Sorry, Luisa. I love you.” Kate said. I couldn’t see, couldn’t see if she was crying for me.
Cry, Kate. Let the emotion out of your system! Let yourself cry. You are allowed. Allow yourself! I am going to be free, don’t worry. I won’t have to be scared anymore. I won’t feel like giving up anymore.
My hearing sizzled. But, not before I heard Owen whisper in my ear.
“I love you.”
I love you too
I heard nothing for a few seconds. They must’ve left. We had been running for our lives.
Let them be okay, let them live.
Black, black, black.
TAKE ME WITH YOU! DON’T LEAVE ME HERE! NO! NO! NO!
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Meet Me
Novela Juvenil"Say when." Kate Farah used to be normal. Now, she is in the middle of a death sentence with her brother, Owen, and best friend, Luisa. Family secrets will be shattered, blood will be split and love will be buried deep. "When." This isn't a love st...
