Chapter 30 - The Day Of Marla's Death

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Marla – May 1998

We weren’t exactly driving slowly, we were driving way past the limit. Way past sixty. Dad just wouldn’t listen to me. Stubborn man.

“We have to get back, otherwise your mother will kill me. You know Ian can’t handle Mara and Kyle by himself, either. You have the mothers touch, my dear.” He smiled and held my hand, one hand still on the wheel.

“I suppose I do.” I beamed.

When I found out that I was having twins, I wasn’t exactly overjoyed. I was fifteen and pregnant. I had something ahead of me too! I had to drop out of high school and keep my attention on what really mattered. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t change a thing at all. I loved my babies almost as much as Ian – no as much as Ian.

Ian had only been in this country little over two years when we met. He was from Italy – that excited everyone. We started dating when we were fourteen. It was the usual fourteen and ‘in love’ deal: saying ‘I love you’ after a few days and kissing on the bus to and from school. Eventually, we had had sex. It wasn’t what I expected, but nothing ever is, is it? We used contraception, but it obviously didn’t work. I found out about the pregnancy when I was around three and a half months pregnant.

I just thought that I was getting fatter, I was eating more and more junk food, but soon I was sick every morning and my period never came. I never thought anything of my missing period at first, because my period was always late – by late, I mean all over the place. Ever since I was diagnosed with anorexia, it had never been right. That was partly why I only used the pill when I decided that I would go all the way with Ian. I had been dead wrong.

Childbirth wasn’t what I expected. It hurt, however not as much as I thought it would. All those programs seemed exaggerated now. I know it’s different for every woman, but for me it was as easy as one, two, three. I was in labour for a whole day with my twins – a boy and a girl.  When they finally arrived, they were laid onto my belly, still swollen, and they cried so loud I thought their lungs would explode! I stayed in the hospital for two days, then was let out. The hospital had taught me may things: how to change their nappies, how to tell what they wanted, how to feed and hold the correctly and how they should sleep. I was a quick learner.

I named my twins Mara and Kyle. Mara got her name because it means ‘bitter’. It may seem a little odd to call a child bitter, however that was what I felt during my pregnancy. It was somewhat of a reminder. Mara didn’t have to know what her name meant. Kyle was named Kyle by Ian – he chose the boy’s name and I chose the girls name. He too decided on it because of the meaning. It means ‘straight’. I hated the fact that Ian named him Kyle because it meant ‘straight’. He claimed it wouldn’t make his son gay.

I didn’t care if he turned out gay or not. It was just an opportunity not to be missed – I wouldn’t have to worry about him getting a girl pregnant. Mara on the other hand, I worried that she would become pregnant very early on – just like me.

I had read somewhere that if the mother has a child at an early stage in her life, her daughter may do too. I think this would be proved to be true with Mara and I.

Deep in Maras’s eyes, I see trouble. Not childish trouble, but deep trouble that is hard to get out of. She was already starting to act like a little madam – showing her little bum off whenever she could. She liked to put on high heels that she never stood up in, even if I would allow her. She loved pretty dresses; she was a typical daughter mould. As she gets older, I plan to drill it into her head that men are bad for you until you are at least twenty years old.

Mara always gets into mischief, even now. I didn’t like telling her off at all, but it was my duty to show her right and wrong.

I still love her though. I love Kyle too. I don’t know what I would do without them anymore.

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