Words I Didn't Say / cb

1

I wake up to the sound of my alarm going off. I sit up and look around. It's been two weeks since I've seen Colby.

I'm back to my normal self, heartless. I'm gonna treat Finn, Luke, and Leonard the same since they've actually proven to me they want me.

Other than that, no one has made sure I was okay. I guess they all took Colby's side. Even Brennen. It doesn't matter anyway.

They can't hurt me now. I spent a couple of day's at Finn's but ended going back to my apartment. And I've somehow managed to not see him once.

When I'm not at work, I'm at home. I've liked being by myself, as sad as that sounds. I've been working on a lot of new music and it's sounding great.

I just know I've had a lot of time on my hands. I stand up and go into the bathroom to take a quick shower.

Afterwards, I put on a red and white striped shirt, a black shirt over it, and black skinny jeans. I had my undershirt tucked in so it looked better.

I grab my backpack that has my music stuff in it, my phone, and everything else I need to leave. I walk out as my phone starts ringing.

This was now an everyday thing. Everyday when I walk out, Finn calls me to make sure I got out of bed. After Colby and I broke up, I was so upset, I didn't get off of Finn's couch for three days.

The day after I did it, Colby blew my phone up but after two days he got the message that I wasn't gonna talk.

Now everything is back to normal. "Hey." I say when I answer it. "How are you doing this fine morning?" Finn asked when I got in the elevator.

"I'm fine. How are you?" Ever since Colby and I broke up, Finn and I got super close. I don't know what I'd do without him.

"You're not fine, I can hear it in your voice. What's wrong?" He asked making me sigh. "It's pizza night at Sam's so everyone's gonna be at his apartment." So far, every pizza night, I spend it at Finn's.

"You know you're welcome to come to my apartment tonight. I think Jack and I are gonna have a gaming night." He said making me smile, even though he couldn't see it.

"Of course, I hope Jack doesn't mind." Jack has actually been super kind. I haven't fully trusted him but he knows that I'm going through a breakup so he's been super nice.

I think it's nice to meet someone new. "He doesn't, he likes you. But I'll see you at work." We end the call as the elevator stops.

I walk to my car and start driving. I'm just happy the traffic isn't too bad in the mornings. When I get into the sound booth, the three boys were laughing at something.

I walk right in and sat down without saying anything. I start queuing up songs as they all stare at me.

I haven't really talked to either Leonard or Luke about it. I know they know something is up. All they really know is that something happened between Colby and I but they don't know what.

And I'm not telling them cause Luke will actually kill him. "Vee, you okay?" Luke asked I turned over to him.

They were all staring at me. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just gonna work on my music today." I tell them as I que up some more songs.

I then pull my laptop out with my headphones. I'm not like most people when it comes to this kind of stuff.

Most people would be sad that all their friends left, but with me, I'm kinda glad cause it'll hurt less. And after I get hurt, I shut off all my emotions.

I can't remember the last time I actually smiled or laughed. I don't know if I'm actually living. It's like I'm numb, or paralyzed.

I just want my old high school life back. I could feel the tears brimming my eyes as I sat there trying to work.

My hands started to shake as I tried to focus on my music. My breath started to become uneven and I know I was having a panic attack for some reason.

I felt someone come up behind me as I tried to calm down. I felt someone tap my shoulder which freaked me out so I threw my headphones off and ran into the bathroom.

I locked the door behind me as I ran towards the sink. I clutched onto the sides as I tried to breathe. I looked at myself as tears were streaming down my face.

I heard knocks on the door as I tried to calm down. "Vee, come talk to me." I heard Luke say. I slowly walk over there and unlock the door.

I stepped into the hallway realizing it was just us two. "What's been going on these past couple of weeks? It's like you're back to your old self." He sounded concerned.

"I caught Colby cheating on me. With Gemma. So I broke up with him." I honestly tell him. And it feels kinda good to tell him.

He looked shocked with a hint of rage. "I ended things so you don't have to worry about it. Plus Finn kinda punched him in the face." I say quietly as I look down.

"Come here, I knew something was off." He opened his arms wide so I could hug him. And I couldn't refuse. I instantly felt calmer when I was with Luke.

I wonder why. As we stood there, our arms wrapped around each other, he said something like what my father would say.

"These times are tough but they will pass." He whispered in my ear. I couldn't help but shed a couple of tears as he said that.

I really don't deserve anyone here.