Words I Didn't Say / cb

9

I look at Colby as he stands at my door. He had tears running down his face as his eyes were bloodshot. He looked like hasn't slept all night.

I look down at his hand to see blood pouring down his hand. Holy shit. "Colby, what'd you do?" I ask as I bring him inside.

I grab napkins to stop the blood. I gave it to him as he put it on his hand. "I got mad and I punched my mirror. I didn't stop til I noticed the blood." He explained.

He stood there as I grabbed my first aid kit so I could help him. I can't believe I'm actually helping him right now.

I stayed silent as I cleaned him up. He was sitting on my stool by my island as I stood in front of him. As I cleaned him up, he was starting to calm down.

"Have you slept?" I ask about the blood shot eyes. If he's gonna be here and if I'm gonna help him, I should be nice.

"No. I haven't been sleeping since everything." He didn't have to say the actual word but I knew what he was talking about.

I took a deep breath at the memory. I don't know if I should be sorry or not. So I stay quiet. I don't know what else to say.

"Who was that other guy with you at the party last night?" He asked about Jack. He really wants me uncomfortable doesn't he?

"That was Jack, he's Finn's roommate." I nonchalantly tell him. I finish his hand as he looks at it.

"Thanks, Vee. I'm sorry I bothered you. I just. You're the first one I thought of." He was stuttering his words, and it made me feel bad for him.

"Don't worry about it. Just, talk about it instead of getting angry. Getting violent doesn't help." I honestly tell him as he agrees.

A single tear runs down his face as he quickly wipes it. "I'm just gonna go clean all of the glass. Thanks again." He said as he walked off.

I didn't want him cleaning the glass with his hand. I wanted him to get rest. Don't do, Vee. Before I could stop myself, I was walking towards Colby to stop him.

"Wait, you need rest. I'll clean it for you." I tell him as he looks at me. I could see a little smile form onto his face when I said that.

"Are you sure?" He asked as I looked at the time. It was only four thirty and I was super hungover. But I should be fine.

I lightly smile as I nodded my head yes. I follow him into his apartment and it honestly looked like a hot mess. "I'm sorry about the-"

"Don't worry about it, I'll clean it up for you." I cut him off so he smiled. Why am I being so nice to him, he literally cheated on me.

As I walked into the kitchen to clean up, his voice caught me off guard. "I'm sorry, Vee. I want you to know that." I turn around so I could look at him.

"Sorry for what?" I wanted to hear him say it. I pick up some of the vodka bottles. "I'm sorry I cheated. If you let me explain then I will." This could be my chance.

I sigh as I look down. "Fine, explain it." I cross my arms, waiting for an explanation. "I had been drinking a lot that night. That was my first mistake." He started to explain.

"Next thing I know, I'm alone and I see someone walking to me. I couldn't make it out but I thought it was you. And the next thing I knew, she was kissing me. And I thought it was you, I swear it." His voice was shaking.

"But then when I saw Finn and your face, that's when I knew I fucked up." He told me, about to break down.

"I lost the only person I wanted to be with." He started crying again so I sat his bottles down and run over to him.

I wrap my arms around him to comfort him. I've never seen him like this, and I thought I was bad. That's when I thought of something Luke told me.

"These times are tough but they'll pass." I say as I rub his back. "What if it doesn't?" He asked, sounding so broken.

"They will, I promise." I tell him. After he calmed down, and I cleaned everything up. We were sitting on his couch.

That's when my heart started to feel heavy. "You okay?" He asked looking at me. I guess it's my turn to vent out my feelings to him.

"I blame myself for a lot of things and when the thought of it actually processed, I just sat there." I tell him as he listens.

"I felt like everything was turning against me when I was only trying to do the right thing. I felt like an idiot." A tear slipped out of my eyes but I quickly wiped them away.

"I- I felt sad. I felt confused. I felt mad at myself for letting things go so far. I guess I blamed myself for everything." I tell him, letting everything out.

"Every bad thought I've ever had just came to the surface." I look at him as I start to tear up. "I couldn't stop it. I didn't mean it." I say talking about what I said the night we broke up.

About wishing I never met him. "I didn't mean what I said to you, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what I said to you." He scooted closer to me to wrap his arms around me.

"It's okay, Vee. I understand. I'm not mad." If he said that to me, I'll be super upset. "Just tell me what I can do to make things right." He told me as I looked up at him.

I could tell he was being serious. He really wanted to make things work with me again, but I still needed to trust him.

I'll talk and be friends, I just don't know if I can be a thing just yet. "Just, prove to me that you want me." He had a hopeful look on his face.

"I promise I will."