Words I Didn't Say / cb

5

I walk into Finn and Jack's apartment since we're going costume shopping today. When I walked in, the first thing I heard was someone playing drums.

But it sounded it like it was quieter than I thought it would be. I follow the noise to what seems like Jack's room. I didn't know he played the drums.

I walked in there without him noticing, and let me tell you, he's pretty good at drums. He was wearing basketball shorts but he was shirtless.

I could see every muscle move when he played. I then snapped out of my thoughts and didn't want to seem weird so I knocked on the door.

He looked at me as he stopped playing. He smiled at me as I looked around his room. "I didn't know you were coming by early. I would've thrown a shirt on." He stood up as he started to find one.

"No it's okay, I had nothing else to do. But I didn't know you played." I said mentioning the drums. I noticed he had a keyboard too.

He had paper scattered around it so it looked like he was writing a song or something. "I've been playing since I was a kid." He tells me as he puts a shirt on.

I walk over to the keyboard and turn it on. I start playing it as I sit down. The first song I play is the song I played for Colby, the night I gave my everything to him.

"I didn't know you could play that." He said as he sat next to me, our shoulders touching.

"Yeah, I learned how in high school. I thought it was good for when I made tracks." I tell him as he listens.

"I'm gonna have to listen to those one day." I look over at him and he's smiling towards me. I look back over towards the papers.

"That's just a song I've been writing. I have most of it done." I look over at him and his face was red from blushing.

It made him look super cute honestly. "I wanna hear it." I say honestly. I love hearing new stuff. "You sure?" He asked as I nodded my head.

"Don't judge my singing, I'm not very good." He places his hands on the keys as he looked at the paper. I couldn't wait to hear it.

He took a deep breath before playing. "If you see the boy I used to be, will you tell him that I'd like to find him." He started out.

It sounded like it was a slower song. "And if you see the shell that's left of me, could you spare him a little kindness." This man really said he couldn't sing when he could.

"Cause I've been high and I've been low. I've spent a thousand nights alone, trying to hold on tight." He continued on, sounding really good.

"And feelings come but they won't go, please won't someone take me home before I lose my mind." I wonder if this is about anyone cause of all the emotion he puts in it.

"Am I broken? Am I flawed? Do I deserve a shred of worth or am I just another fake, fucked up lost cause?" I could tell this was the chorus and probably my favorite part so far.

"And am I human? Or am I something else? Cause I'm so scared and there's no one there, to save me from the nightmare that I call myself." He sang to me.

He stopped playing and looked over at me. "That's all I have so far." His face was a shade of pink after realizing he played it for me. "It's really good. What's it about?" I curiously ask.

"When I was in grade nine, I was surfing with my best friend at the time, and she ended up getting drug under the current and hit her head." He explained as I listened.

"She didn't make it even though I tried everything I could to save her. After trying to push everyone out, Finn was the only one who showed he cared." He explained.

He went through the same thing I did. "I'm sorry you went through that. You know, when I was seventeen I went through the same thing. Except it was a car wreck and I couldn't save him." He looked surprised when I said that.

I don't know if he felt it too but it felt like we just connected. "Really?" He asked as I heard the front door open and close.

"Jack, did you know you can go skiing in California?" Finn said walking into his room. He hadn't realized I was in here til after he saw me in there.

"Oh hey, Vee. Were  you guys just bonding cause I feel a connection?" He asked as I looked at Jack. His face had gotten red from embarrassment.

"We were until you walked in." Jack joked causing us to start laughing. "Oh fuck you." Finn cursed causing Jack to gasp.

"Aye, don't swear." I couldn't handle these two. "Can we go costume shopping now?" I ask changing the subject.

We all agree so Finn walks out causing us two to stand up. "You should come over one day and I can help you finish your song." I suggest to Jack, making him smile.

"We should." After getting to know him, he was super sweet. "Guys, come on. You're slow." Finn whined from the living room.

"Shut up!" We said in unison as we walk into the living room. We started laughing as Finn looked at us weird.

He just rolled his eyes as we walked out to go shopping. It took us around thirty minutes to get to the costume store so we had enough time to walk around.

"We're doing coordinated outfits, right?" Finn asked looking at the costume. "Of course." Jack said also looking.

That's when I heard Jack gasp which scared us. "We could be Harry, Ron, and Hermione from Harry Potter." He suggested.

It could be good. "Mate, we're Australian, not British. And also we're not redheads." Finn said as I just stood there.

"Who cares, and I'm close to it. This is literally the perfect chance." He sounded like a little kid as Finn and I were his kids.

"Vee, you'll do it won't you?" He asked as Finn looked at me. I could feel the pressure from their stares but I couldn't help but smile.

"I mean, why not?"