Don't Cry (Trans!depressed Deku x Todoroki)

Depression

I woke up. It was about 6:40 am. I didn't want to get up but I had to go to school. I had been struggling with my mental state for a while now. It had started in middle school. When All Might chose me as his successor and I started high school, it seemed like it was getting better for a bit, I could smile genuinely and I felt happy, but I slowly started to spiral downwards again. I slowly got up from my bed, and walked over to the closet. I grabbed my uniform and chest binder. After I changed into my uniform I brushed my teeth and left my dorm. As I was walking to class, Todoroki came up to me. " Hey Midoryia, how are you?"
" Oh, hey Todoroki. Im fine, how about you?" I nervously said.
" Im good, just a little tired. I went to bed a little later than usual." Todoroki responded.
" I didn't get much sleep yesterday night either." I awkwardly told him. Why do you have to be so awkward around him. Why can't you just be normal? Why do you have to be such a worthless person? We both walked into the classroom and took our seats. It was a long class period, but finally the bell rang, signaling that it was break period. Break periods only lasted for 10 minuets. I immediately started walking to the bathroom as I was about to cry again. Why do you always cry for no reason?
I walked into the bathroom and went to the farthest stall from the door. I couldn't hold in my tears anymore and they started flowing like a stream down my cheeks. Worthless! Such a burden! You'll never be a valid boy! All Might should have chosen someone else! You are not worthy of having One for All.
Those thoughts struck me hard, like an arrow had just pierced my heart. I took out the small blade and bandages I had kept hidden in my backpack. This was the only way I could feel better, even if that relief is just temporary. I did my best to only cut on my shoulders and legs, because I did not want anyone to see them, especially since our P.E. uniforms were short sleeved. I let them bleed for a little, then cleaned up the blood and bandaged myself up. I wiped the tears from my face and put on a fake smile. I wish I could tell someone, but I'm too much of a pussy. No one would care anyways. I flushed the toilet and washed my hands, pretending that I actually used the bathroom for whatever reason. It's not like anyone walked into the bathroom or anything so I don't really know why I'm trying to make it seem like I used the bathroom.
I walked to my next class. Like usual, it was a long boring class period. Time went by slowly and eventually it was lunch time. I got my lunch, but all I did was stare at it. I couldn't eat, I just wasn't able too. Todoroki sat down next to me. " Hey Midoryia." He said.
" Hey Todoroki. " I looked up and smiled at him.
" So, how have you been doing?" Todoroki asked.
" Fine, why do you ask?" I responded.
" Just checking because you seem down lately." He looked at me a bit concerned.
           " Oh, it's probably because of the whole thing with Kacchan, All Might's retirement, and that villain." I looked down at my lunch again. I was hungry, but I couldn't bring myself too even pick up the fork.
" If you ever need to talk about anything, you can always come talk to me." He said.
            The bell rang and it was time to go to our next period. I started walking to class with Todoroki. On our way, Uraka  and Iida joined us. " Hey Deku, Hi Todoroki!" Uraka excitedly walked up to us with Iida.
" Hey guys." Iida said.
" Hello." Both me and Todoroki said almost in unison.
            We walked into the classroom and went to our seats. Time for yet another boring class period. Cementos walked in and math class began. After school, both me and Todoroki walked back to our dorms together. We talked about what we learned at school today and some other random things. We got back to our dorms and said goodbye. I walked over to my desk and started studying because there was a test coming up in a few days. Why dose it matter if you study or not, you're going to fail anyways. You're a failure. After I studied for a little bit, I decided to watch a little TV. Nothing good aired at this time but I was bored and had nothing else I felt like doing. I went through the channels until I came across one that was talking about All Might's time as a hero. I couldnt help but think that if I had done something more to help him during that fight, that he might have been able continue being a pro hero and saving people, and that his true form would have still been a secret to the public. I should have done something more than just getting Kacchan out of there. I wish I had done more to help.
             I just sat there, crying silently. You should just die. No one would miss you. They would probably be happier without you. You're just a burden to everyone. At least Kacchan seemed to ignore me today. I don't want to deal with him teasing me. Maybe I should take a swan dive off the roof like Kacchan said I should. I walked to the bathroom, rolled up my sleeves, took off my bandages, and cut again.
             I looked at the alarm clock on my nightstand which read 9:36 pm. It was getting late. I grabbed a shirt and so e shorts. I began to change but stopped after I took my binder off. I started crying again, knowing that no matter how hard I try, I'll never be a vaild boy. I hated myself. Things would be some much easier if I had just been born a male. I  finished changing and got into bed. I tried to close my eyes and go sleep but I could not keep my eyes closed for long. I played there staring at the sealing thinking about how much I hated myself and hated life, about how much I wish I could've been born a boy, and about how I had a crush on Todoroki. He wouldn't love a failure such as myself, so there is no need to even try. I'm hopeless. I don't want to face another day, but I'm to much of a coward to
do it. After what seemed to be hours, I finally fell asleep, crying.

Hi! I hope you guys like this. I'm not the best writer but I'm trying. Please do not expect frequent updates. Im very busy and I usually don't enjoy writing ( or in this case typing ) stories, but for whatever reason I decided to start writing this one. Im not sure if I'll ever complete this book but I will try. Have a great day ( or night ).