Don't Cry (Trans!depressed Deku x Todoroki)

Just Another Day

     I woke up to the sound of my alarm blaring at me. I didn't sleep well last night. I had a really bad dream where I was trying to find my friends, teachers, and my mom. I could hear them calling me, but their voices were always distant and no matter what I did. I was also at UA, but everything was tinted grey. It scared me that I was not able to find them. They seemed to be in so much pain and agony. I wanted to help them but couldn't. It was torture.
Other than that dream, the night went as usual. Waking up every few hours and having trouble falling back asleep. I dreaded having to go to school today. I slowly got up out of bed, and immediately covered my chest with my arms. Fake! Every time I had to take a shower, or get dressed, every time I had to see my feminine body, I got super dysphoric. I hated having gender dysphoria. I wish I could just be a cisgender person. Everything would have been so much easier. At least today, hopefully, it will all finally end.
I quickly put on my chest binder and adjusted it so that I would have the flattest chest possible but still be somewhat comfortable. I out in my school uniform, brushed my teeth , put deodorant on, and went downstairs. As I was walking downstairs, I smelled bacon and eggs. I felt sick knowing that my mom wouldn't let me leave for school until I ate at least a little bit. I sighed as I walked down the stairs. " Good Morning Izuku. How are you this morning?" My mom said with a bright smile on her face.
" Good Morning mom. I'm doing great!" I responded as I gave her a small fake smile.
" I made you some bacon and eggs for breakfast." She said as she walked over and put down a plate of food in front of me. I forced myself to eat a few bites of food, then I put my plate aside and got my stuff. As I was opening the door, my mom said, " Have a great day! Love you Izuku!"
" Love you too mom!" I put on my best cheerful and happy voice, then went on my way to school.
As I was walking to school, I put in my earbuds and started listening to The Village by Wrabel. I love listening to this song because it is relatable and it's a beautiful song. This would likely be the last time I ever listened to this song. I'm sad about that, but at the same time happy. I will finally be free from all this pain.
I arrived at school and tried my best to not run into anyone I know. I of course, failed to do so. I fail at everything I do. Uraka was of course the first one too notice me. " Deku!" She yelled in a cheerful manner.
" Oh, hey Uraka!" I said.
" How are you? Aizawa would not tell us what happened and he would not let us go see you." She said.
" Yeah, I was super sick, but I'm fine now. How are you?" I responded.
" I'm doing pretty good." She smiled at me.
Just then Iida walked up to us along with Todoroki. They greeted me and we started to walk together to class. " Oh yeah, Midoryia you still need to catch up on things right?" Todoroki asked.
" Yep." I responded.
" Do you want me to help you after school today?" He said.
" No thank you, I'm busy after school today." I told him.
" Maybe another time then?" He asked.
" Sure." I responded to him, knowing that that time would never come. I still feel a little sad to leave my friends and family, but it's for the best. They probably won't really care anyways.
We arrived at class and again I was greeted by everyone saying how happy they are they are to see me again. I sat down in my seat and class began. It was as usual long and boring. As soon as the bell rang I'm going to go cut again. I glanced over at Todoroki. He is so strong and handsome, and I admire him so much. He makes me feel so warm. He deserves someone much better than me though. Todoroki look over at me for a second, than back at the front of the classroom. The bell rang and I got up out of my seat, then walked out of the classroom.
I started to walk towards the bathroom when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked over to see Todoroki and blushed. "Oh, h-hey Todoroki. What is it?" I said, trying not to should super awkward. I turned around to face him, still blushing like mad. He looked at me, and then down at the ground. He seemed to be thinking something over.
" Midoryia, after school today, can we walk together? There is something I want to talk to you about." He responded as he blushed slightly, but just barely noticeable.
" S-Sure! Just uh, gotta go!" I awkwardly told him, then speed walked to the bathroom a total blushing mess.
I walked into the bathroom and went to the farthest stall from the door. I closed the stall door and locked it, than set my things down and took out my razor. I sat there for a moment, staring at it. Your so worthless! Such a fake! Your not a real boy or girl! These thoughts are always going through my head, but today they would finally stop. After the walk with Todoroki, I can just buy myself a rope front the store and suffocate myself.
     I pressed the razor blade against my skin, and slowly began to drag it across. The pain felt so nice. I repeated dragon the blade across my arm up to my elbow. Then I did the same to my other arm. My arms where now a bloody mess, but I felt so good. I used some of the toilet paper to clean my arms up a bit, and then wrapped them in bandages. I rolled my sleeves back down, and put my razor blade and bandages back in the little box. Then I got up and left the stall. I washed my hands quickly and left for my second period class. On my way to my next class, All Might stropped me.
" Hey kid, If you ever need to talk to someone, I'll be there for you. You can also talk to any of the teachers too. You're not alone." He then pulled me into a gentle hug, and I hugged back. I almost wanted to cry and tell him that I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna be here much longer.
"Thank you All Might." I replied to him with tears threatening to fall from my eyes. I took a small step back and smiled as best as I could, and he smiled back. I then continued on my way to class. He just pities you! He dose not really care! You're a nobody! I know.  The rest of the day went about as usual. Then the bell rang and it was time to go. Todoroki was waiting for me at the front gate. " Hey Midoryia!" He smiled cheerfully at me.
" Hey Todoroki!" I smiled at him. After this walk, I would finally be free from this cage of endless suffering and pain.

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