Don't Cry (Trans!depressed Deku x Todoroki)

Awake?

                I slowly woke up to hear crying. Everything was a blur. Where am I? Who is crying? I slowly started to remeber what had happened. I looked around only to find that I was in a hospital. I was disappointed. Afterall, I should be dead, I had hoped that the pain would finally end. I saw an IV machine hooked up to me, some bandages with slightly tinted red spots, my mom, Todoroki, and All Might. Why are they here? My Mom was sobbing, and there where small tears in the corner of All Might and Todoroki's eyes.
              Why were they crying? Is it because of me? My mom looked up at me. " Izuku! Your wake!" My mom said loudly as she jumped out of her seat and hugged me. It was so sudden and I was a bit shocked. My mom then let go and gently laid my limp body back on the hospital bed.
" Izuku, you had me so worried! Please don't do that again!" Todoroki sounded as if he was about to break, and it hurt me to hear him sounding like he was in a lot of pain.
It's all your fault that they are crying.
" I thought that we lost you. I'm sorry I didn't realize that you were suffering." All Might apologized to me.
Why is he apologizing to me? It was my decision.
" It's not anyone's fault but mine. It was my decision. You guys shouldn't have to suffer because if me." I responded. Then I made a sudden realization. I didn't have my binder on! I quickly glanced down at my chest and saw that the blanket was covering my chest area, which made it look somewhat flat. I had the hospital gown on, but that didn't do much. Thank God when my mother hugged me she made sure to keep the blanket covering my chest area so Todoroki did not see. I was worried that if anyone else found out, that i would be bullied even more and I might face a lot of oppression. All Might already knew I was Trans so I didn't have to worry much about him judging me, thankfully. At least All Might and my mom did the best they could to keep it a secret.
           " You never caused me to suffer. Everyday, your smile, even if it was fake, cheered me up. I never told anyone this, but before we both started our first year at UA, I thought of killing myself and even had a plan. I had planned to take my own life that week, but you helped me through the tough times, even if you didn't know it. I began looking forward to seeing you at school. Then at the sports festival, when you helped me to see that my flames were my own power and not my father's, that's when things really started to change for the better. For the longest time I not only hated my father, but myself as well for inheriting his flames. When I saw the text message that you sent me, my heart felt like it was about to leap out of my chest. Then I saw the message that you sent to the group chat and my heart shattered when I realized what you were about to do. I really thought I was going to lose you." Todoroki told me as tears began to flow down his cheeks.
            Everyone looked at Todoroki for a few seconds. I started silently crying. I never knew that Todoroki had wanted to die, just like me. Todoroki then lifted up his long sleeve to reveal his scars. " These are self-harm scars. I decided to do my best to make them look like cuts from an animal so that if anyone noticed, I would have a better chance of passing them off as animal scratches." Todoroki stated. He seemed to do a really good job at that because those scars really did look like they came from an animal.
I should have done that. Of course though , I was too much of a worthless idiot to think of something like that. I'm so stupid. A large part of me wishes I hadn't been saved. I just want to be free. Life is pain. I wake up everyday in pain. I go to school in pain. Even now, I'm still in pain. I wish it would just end. Even though it seems that they care, I will just cause them pain, and it would be best if I didn't wake up tomorrow. I have to find a way to die. It doesn't matter how, I just need to die. The doctor walked in and said that my mom, Todoroki, and All Might had to leave. They all got up waved and said their goodbyes, and left.
" Midoryia, if you are ready to talk, I would like to know why you tried to kill yourself." The doctor asked.
I wasn't ready to talk just yet. So I ignored the question, and asked if I could have my binder, which the doctor replied yes to and left to quickly go get it. I looked at my chest area. I hated having female parts. Why can't i just be cisgender? It would have made things so much easier. After I got my binder back and put it on, I felt a little better. I eventually told the doctor some of the reasons why I wanted to die. They said I was going to be transferred to a nearby mental hospital in the morning.
I hated being here. I hated being confined to one room. If i needed to use the bathroom then someone had to go with me, they also pretty much forced me to eat and drink, and there were so many things that I couldn't do. It was very boring. I couldn't cut myself, and so I couldn't get much relief from all the pain. I just wanted to die so much. I took of my binder as I was starting to feel some pain in my chest area, which was my signal that I needed a break.
Much like any other night, I didn't get much sleep. I kept asking the doctors and security guards what time it was when they would pass by; 6:30 pm, 7:00 pm, 8:40 pm, 9:02 pm, 10:26 pm, 11:34 pm, and so on. By about midnight, I think, the halls were mostly deserted except for a security guard sitting in a chair right outside my door, and other hospital staff walking by occasionally.
After a long, and exhausting night, morning finally came. They came into my room, put me on a stretcher, and loaded me into the back of an ambulance to transport me to the mental hospital. It wasn't a very long ride but it was very bumpy. The person with me in the back made some small goals to me, but not much. We then arrived at the mental hospital and I was unloaded off the ambulance, and taken in to the hospital.

Hope you guys enjoyed. I did a much longer chapter than I thought I would.