Don't Cry (Trans!depressed Deku x Todoroki)

Love alone can't heal me

    I woke up feeling like absolute shit, but that's just my normal. Shoto was sleeping next to me with his arms wrapped tightly around me. I felt a little better, but still felt shitty. I carefully moved Shoto's arms so that I could get up. I quickly got dressed and went to the bathroom. I brushed my teeth and after I was done I just stared at the cabinet that contained a few of my razor blades and bandages. I tried to resist the urge to cut, but it was too hard. I just don't have the strength and will to resist it. I closed and locked the bathroom door, and took out one of my blades.
    I began cutting on my arms and legs. I got lost in my thoughts and jumped a but when I heard a knock on the bathroom door. I dropped the razor blade and it hit the floor with a loud clanging sound. Shit. I panicked. " Izuku, are you ok?" Shoto asked.
" Y-Yeah! I'm f-f-fine!" I stated.
" Ok, but we talk after you're done?" He said.
" S-Sure!" I responded.
    I felt like I was going to have a panic attack! What did he want to talk about? Did he hear the blade drop? My cuts? Maybe he really dose not love me and he was just pitying me? Maybe he dose not want to be with me because I'm transgender? I quickly finished up and walked back into my bedroom where Shoto was sitting on the bed waiting for me. " So Sho, w-what did you want to talk about? I nervously asked.
" I think we should tell your mom about yesterday. Maybe she can get you a therapist os something." He responded.
" O-Oh, sure." I said. I know I should tell my mom but I really don't want to.
" Also, can I see your arms?" He asked.
" U-Uh why do you n-need to see my a-arms?" I shakily responded.
" Izuku you know why." He said.
    he reached out and gently grabbed my left arm. I jerked back and tried to get him to let go of my arm but to no avail. He gently rolled up the sleeve just a little above my elbow, but enough to catch a glimpse of the bandages. He rolled up the sleeve even more on my left arm until he couldn't roll it up anymore. He did the same to my right arm. I just looked away feeling ashamed of myself. He looked very saddened when he saw my bandages. " Izuku..." He said, looking like he was about to cry. Idiot! Now look what you've done! You've made him sad! So worthless.
" Do you cut anywhere else?" He asked.
" My legs." I said feeling very ashamed of myself.
    He began rolling up my shorts. He stopped at the bandages. He looked up at me and I looked away. I couldn't look at him, I was to ashamed of myself. He then pulled me into a hug. " Izuku please stop hurting yourself! I love you so much and I cannot bare to see you doing this yourself." He said, as tears began to flow down his cheeks. I just hugged back.
" I love you to Sho, and I'm sorry but I just can't help it sometimes." I quietly spoke. Love cannot heal me, but it will hold my hand and walk with me through these tough times. I'm not sure though if I have enough energy to get better anymore. Everything just feels so drained.

Sorry for not updating in a long while and writing such a short chapter. I just struggled with the motivation to write anything for a while.