A Little Mad

Chapter 55

Mercedes could hear groaning from down the hall. Sleeping on the couch wasn't the most comfortable, but she was not risking getting puked on in the middle of the night. She didn't want to be in the same room with him anyways. She followed the sound and found Jerome cleaning out the bucket. He drank some water she had left on the side table. He set on the edge of the bed and held his head. Mercedes sighed and walked forward.

"Jerome... we need to talk...?"

He groaned and shook his head.

"My head hurts doll face. Can we talk later..?"

Mercedes sighed at how calm and sweet he was being, but she couldn't wait until later.

"No... we really need to talk now... because I'm leaving..."

Jerome instantly lifted his gaze and stood up. He stepped forward and Mercedes stepped backwards.

"What are you talking about..?"

Jerome's concern was written all over his face. Mercedes sighed and looked away. 

"I can't go on with you like this Jerome... We just need some time..." 

Jerome stepped forward again. He grabbed Mercedes's hand and she pulled it away.

"Please don't.... don't be sweet... it's going to make this harder than it already is..."

Jerome stared at her bruises that were almost now gone. 

"Your bruises... look better..."

A tear rolled down Mercedes's cheek and she wiped it away before Jerome could try to.

"You don't even know what happened last night do you...?"

Jerome looked at her confused and then he was even more worried.

"No... What happened...?"

More tears fell down her face, and she backed away again.

"Jerome... I love you... so much... there are just some things that I need to figure out... and you do too... you cause problems and harm just for fun.... " 

Jerome backed away. 

"You know I can't change.."

Mercedes stepped forward. 

"I'm not asking you to change.... despite everything... I love you just the way you are... I always feared for the lives of others... but I don't want to fear my own... I don't want us to turn into that.."

Jerome looked at her worried. 

"Wait... are you afraid of me...What.... what did I do....?" 

Mercedes wiped her tears and looked away. Her tears that flowed were heavy. 

"You came home drunk.... I was still not comfortable after our last fight the other day... Jerome... I said I didn't want to..."

Jerome backed away and shook his head.

"I told you I wasn't in the mood... I said no... You... you raped me...."

Jerome stared at her, shocked by his own actions. Tears fell from his eyes and Mercedes looked away.

"Don't! Stop! See Jerome you are a very charming, charismatic and manipulative man... I know you don't mean to... but you manipulate me... I know you love me... I believe you... but Jerome we need some time apart to work on ourselves and figure out how we want to handle this reationship...." 

Jerome quickly turned his head.

"You can't leave..."

Mercedes backed away.

"I'm a grown woman... I can do what I want... we need this... I need you to trust me... you made me feel so disgusting... It was like we had no personal connection at all last night..."

Jerome grabbed Mercedes hand. This time she let him.

"I am so sorry... I should not have been that way... wait... the bucket and water..."

Mercedes looked away.

"You were lying on your back.... you would have choked on your vomit... and you needed water... I couldn't let you..."

Mercedes lifted her gaze showing teary eyes.

"I love you so much.... I don't want to be this way with you... I don't like us fighting like this and... Jerome you abused me... twice... we need to get our shit together... because if we don't and you ever abuse me again.... Jerome I can't risk my own safety..."

Jerome gently cupped her cheek with the same hand he bruised her with. His eyes were watery. 

"Please.... don't leave me..."

Mercedes leaned into his hand and cried.

"I don't want to.... I want more than anything to just get in bed and you hold me... but we can't..."

Mercedes removed his hand and backed away. She shook her head.

"We can't just move on and not focus on this... we have to stop and take a breath... I can't stay here right now... I won't be able to avoid you and ... I just... we need to be apart and clear our heads.."

"Where are you gonna go...?"

Mercedes shrugged her shoulders. She saw the sadness in Jerome's eyes and couldn't help but wonder how much of it was real, and how much of it was the manipulation.

"Jerome I need you to trust me... You have to let me go... We cannot ignore this..."  

Mercedes stepped back when Jerome stepped forward. She sighed and looked away.

"I don't know how long... I just know that I need to be alone right now... I'll check in with TaTyana... I want her to stay here..."

Mercedes stepped forward and placed her hand on Jerome's cheek. Her watery eyes had cleared. She could feel in her heart that this was the right thing to do.

"I am doing this because I love you... I promise you that I love you... so much... We cannot go on like this..." 

Mercedes let go of Jerome and headed towards the door. 

"Mercedes..." 

She turned around and sighed.

"Jerome... don't follow me... please..." 

Mercedes left Jerome standing in the bedroom. She walked into an empty livingroom. She didn't feel the need to even speak to TaTyana. She knew she would be mad at her, but she also knew that TaTyana would try to come after her if she knew. She just needed to get out of there for a while. She stepped into the dark street and began walking. She wasn't sure where she was going. Then her leg started to hurt and she instantly knew.