Metanoia | Blog

when will this stop?

If you're an Indian, you probably already know about this. If you're not, let me tell you. Dr Priyanka Reddy, a veterinary doctor from Shamshabad in Hyderabad was found dead with her body partially burnt in Shadnagar on Thursday morning. She was raped, smothered and then burnt by four men. 

Via Saloni Chopra ( redheadwayfarer on Instagram):

"It was Jyoti Singh, not Nirbhaya. You don't know if she was fearless. She wasn't fucking volunteering. Before people come up with a brave name for Priyanka Reddy's life lost amongst the other women we have lost in the last 7 years, let me remind you, that no one - none of us, want to be India's daughters. You wouldn't want your daughter to be India's daughter.
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"Educate the girl" people scream, cos THAT is feminism, hai na? Beti Bachao Beti Padhao... "make them Engineers & Doctors if you want equality, that's feminism" - that's feminism? Well your education couldn't protect her. That god damn degree didn't come with safety. It came with the same fucking life that women have been living for decades & centuries in this country - with no respect or dignity.

Men are raised with ZERO education towards a woman, her body, her period, her humanity, her identity. Women are mothers & wives in this country, they aren't individuals with jobs & identities.

If Priyanka was a man, they would've robbed him & hit him and left. They wouldn't have RAPED & BURNT HIM.

Our men are deprived of sex and taught nothing about respecting the opposite sex REGARDLESS OF WHERE SHE IS AND WHAT SHE IS WEARING. We don't want to talk about that... from the richest of families to the poorer ones, no one wants to talk about how our 'culture & tradition' suffocates & erases a woman's identity & teaches men nothing about the opposite sex.

We victim blame. We enable patriarchy. We slut shame & character strip the women that want to talk about a woman's body to NORMALISE IT. So that every fucking pair of boobs & vagina doesn't make you want to RAPE IT.

It breaks my heart that the first thought I had was 'why did they have to kill her... why couldn't they just leave her after they raped her.' Because you're now lucky if you just live.

Doctor Priyanka Reddy, was raped & burnt alive on her way back home yesterday at 9:30. She told her sister she was scared. Every woman in this country is scared. She wasn't out drinking, she wasn't making feminist statements about her tits, she wasn't wearing vulgar clothes, she followed all your fucking rules and she is gone."

Hearing about incidents like these, we start to question if we will ever be safe in our own country. Walking after sunset in isolated streets, all we do is imagine the worst scenarios ever. It could be any of us next. It could be me, or you. The fact that all of us are living in this constant fear of getting raped and murdered is heartbreaking.

Where does the fault lie then? Our mothers and our families have put down countless rules for us, girls and women. 'Beta, don't go out alone after sunset', 'Don't wear short clothes', 'Don't walk in isolated areas' - how many more rules will be imposed on us? It's freaking 21st century and while we're still wrapping our heads around these countless rules, potential rapists are freely marching around the streets, looking for their next prey.

When will the fault finally shift towards the men and the boys? When will our mothers and our families teach the boys and the men to not go out and rape somebody? In my school, girls were secretly called for sex education classes, but never BOYS. Sex is so natural. Why can't boys be educated that girls aren't just pieces of meat? Why can't we talk about sex and educate boys about the female body and teach them how to respect it? While India is heading towards a $5 trillion economy, it has failed to give its women, which constitute almost half of its population, a sense of safety while walking in her streets.

What can we exactly do about this? I urge all of you, girl or boy, to educate yourselves on what is right and what is not. Go talk about rape and how a woman's safety is in danger with your family, your friends, your colleagues. Don't let them tell you that you're overreacting, or that to just put off the topic, because if you won't talk now, WHEN WILL YOU? Don't let there be more Priyankas, or Jyotis. 

Also, while it is not possible to bring out a change in people's mentality overnight, as a woman, please try to think about your own safety. It's always advisable to avoid isolated streets, unlit areas etc. If you cannot avoid them in any situation, please share your live location with your near ones and keep the nearest police station's number handy in case of emergency. Also, if you can, carry a pepper spray with you at all times. Be sure to carry something that would be pocket-sized and would have a wide range. I feel pocket knives aren't really that effective because you have to be close to the perpetrator to use that and there's a huge chance that it could be used against you. Also, statistics say that women who fight back are less likely to face any sort of assault. If your instincts say that something is fishy, try to speak up and say NO. Try to gather people's attention towards you and try to show that you could be really aggressive. If they grope you, try to fight back as much as you can. Aim at the groins, the neck, the nose. Your elbow is a strong body part so use it too. 

Since the incident, I've been sharing EVERY USEFUL PIECE OF INFORMATION on Instagram through my stories. Many have pointed that I'm overreacting, that I need to move on, but I will not. Because this isn't something trivial. If you think it is, maybe you need to reconsider your priorities. I'll keep sharing for as long as I can. I try my best to bring this conversation up with my brothers, my partner, my friends. I know sometimes these might seem as if they don't add up to something, but if WE ALL do our parts, maybe we might be able to bring out a change.

If anyone of you is interested, I'll make my instagram account (username: upontheabyss ) public so that you can view my highlight 'enough is enough'. It contains some really useful pieces of information, ways we can contribute towards this cause, ways we can keep ourselves and our women safe. 

Please keep women safe. That's the least we ask for.

If you have any Wattpad friends with whom you would wanna share this, PLEASE DO. PLEASE keep talking about this. PLEASE keep educating yourself about this. PLEASE LET'S NOT WAIT FOR ANOTHER HEADLINE TO ACT.