Metanoia | Blog

seeking opportunities

It's currently 4:31PM, Wednesday - the day when I promised that a blog post will be published. The entire 'publishing regularly' jazz was appealing in the beginning. I was full of passion and fire. I could push out a blog post even before we can say "blog post". I was swimming with amazing ideas, brimming inside me and begging to come out.

Now, my head's almost a drought. Now, I have not run out of ideas, per se. I just feel lazy. Yes, that's the word. I hate typing it out loud but that's the exact word. I have a lot of ideas that require a bit more than effort than usual - more research, more brainstorming, more editing. But, it's easier for me to stick to writing about topics that I am comfortable with.

Now, I do want to expand my horizons. The whole point of this blog was not just to reiterate things I already know. It was to learn. Just learn more and more and more. I wanted to see if I could be consistent, learn from the people who read this as they share their opinions, make new friends and learn from them, push my boundaries and research and write about topics I did not know. So, I guess, this is me telling myself things I need to do, opportunities I need to seek.

This also makes me think about the countless things that I can but am not. I took one year premium membership of Skillshare since June, but it hasn't been opened since forever. There are numerous YouTube channels I have subscribed because I enjoy their content. Some of their content is super informative and makes my creative juices flow. There are ideas saved in my Pinterest boards - things I want to draw, recipes to recreate, quotes to remember. Same goes for the saved Instagram posts in my account. I never really check them. They sit with the infinity cradled in their fists while I pass my days in a blur.

But, do I feel guilty? Thing is I do not even remember it to feel guilty.

It makes me think how many such opportunities, that I didn't recognise, would have been missed by me. It's a scary yet assuring thought. It makes me realise that there are opportunities to learn, always. More often than not, there are right in front of us. We need to clean our lenses and look closely.

My idea here is not to propagate a 24/7 productive life. Being productive ALWAYS is toxic. We all deserve breaks, lame comedies, memes, aimless conversations. Not everything has to be creative, intellectual to be worthy. However, if you, like me, feel the push inside you, the thirst for knowledge, the little voice that says there are things that better deserve your attention, listen to it. Listen to it because for me, I want my life to be dynamic and infinite.

On a closing note, does this mean I start being more productive from this moment? No. This is an affirmation letter to myself that I will take whatever little step I can to be the person I want to.

Thank you for reading these aimless thoughts and ideas I have on my mind. This book is becoming more and more special every single day. It contains my raw and vulnerable self, things I love, things I want to become, my dreams, my little aspirations. It is a little me that resides in this book. So, thank you for choosing me.

Also, I have been thinking that I should stick to updating this book once a week. The sole reason is to give myself enough time to process my ideas and give you people something I am proud of. This book started off as a side project and is slowly becoming so much more than that. Maybe, the better deal would be updating it on every Sunday and updating it on Wednesday whenever motivation hits me. I guess, that'll work better.

So, finally, thank you for reading. How are you doing these days? It's okay if you wanna just say 'fine' or write a long paragraph. I'll listen.

Signing off,
Sam.❤