When the skyfalls

Chapter 8: You're not alone Joseph

I'm back again guys! Once again, this chapter is quite emotional and heavy but please remember this is fiction.  (And it will have a happy ending, of course it will!)

The story is loosely based on something I've been through in my own life, I've seen it first hand so please, if anyone needs to talk- reach out! To me, to family, to friends.

No one is ever alone💚

The hours following the dreaded phone call, Tracey Sugg had safely delivered Charlotte to her grandads house, picked up Zoe and made the drive down to London to be with the young couple as they dealt with this horrid turn of events. "Mum, I just can't believe it, of all people, they don't deserve this. Charlotte is so excited too bless, you heard her as we left her with Dad." Zoe rants, unaware that the couple were even expecting, the news that they had just suffered the loss of their child was a definite shock. Her mum, having known since the week they found out, still hadn't fully processed the loss but knew from experience that both her son and Dianne would need all the support they could get in the coming weeks, especially as they had another small child to care for as well.

Turning to her daughter, who was furiously wiping tears from her eyes, she placed a comforting hand on her leg. It was no secret that Zoe had been trying for her own child for years now, with no success, so she had taken the loss of her potential niece or nephew harder than anticipated. "Zo, don't get upset love, there is nothing we can do now unfortunately. This baby wasn't made of this world, so Dianne's body did what was right for her by not supporting it. As sad as it all is for us, I promise you that Joe and Dianne are feeling it a hundred times worse, we need to be strong for them now. Let them lean on us and be what they need okay? If it gets too much for you, let me know, I'll be fine on my own okay?" Knowing the pain that her baby boy was going through, she didn't need her baby girl getting anymore upset either.

Opening the front door, using the key the couple had given her when they first moved in, Tracy was met by the most heartbreaking sight; her youngest son, holding his sobbing wife as tightly as he could, whilst he cried into her hair, neither of them realising they had company. Zoe, grabbing tightly to her mothers arm, blinked back her tears at the sight, determined to not let her own feelings interrupt her desire to remain strong for Dianne and of course, her little brother. Leaving their bags by the door, both mother and daughter head over to the couple and wrap their arms around the couple, allowing the tears to fall as they all hold onto each other. Suddenly having the realization that she had company (other than her husband), Dianne dried her tears furiously and launched into action. "God i'm a mess, I haven't even offered either of you tea or coffee after your long drive, gosh I don't know if we have any biscuits in or anything! What a shit daughter-in-law in am Tracey, you'll have to forgive me." she rambles, diving out of the group hug, wincing slightly as she stood up straight and made her way to the kitchen. Laughing bitterly, Joe retorts quickly, " If my mother and sister have come here, today of all days, for a biscuit, I'll be pretty damn pissed. Leave it Di, they can sort themselves, they know where everything is." Pushing his sister and mother off him, feeling suffocated, he left the room, disappearing into his study in search of some time to himself, knowing that Dianne was in good hands with their family. They had informed her family too but due to the time difference, they hadn't heard back from them yet- that was a whole other situation to deal with.

Accepting that Dianne needed the distraction of playing host, both Tracey and Zoe settled on the sofa with their cups of coffee, a plate of digestives and some cakes which had been found in the chocolate cupboard, as Dianne continued to fuss around, fluffing cushions and tidying up the little things, stopping only when a particularly painful cramp took over. "Please Di, come sit down with us. We can tidy up later okay? Come here and talk to us, come on sweetheart." Zoe coaxed, reaching out to hold her hand as she bustled past on her way to do something else pointless. Shoulders slumping, she accepted the inevitable and sat down in-between her sister and her mother-in law, once again placing her hand on her stomach without thinking. Realising what she had just done, triggered a new wave of emotion in Dianne as she thought about cradling her now empty uterus and the tears began to fall anew. "I'm so s..sorry. I tho..thought I was past thi..this." she sobbed, leaning into Zoe for support as the emotions hit her like a train. Rubbing her back up and down, holding her tightly and whispering words of kindness into her ear, Zoe settled back on the sofa with Dianne, taking control of this situation and relying on the sister like bond she had with the redhead over the years. Whether they referred to each other as best friends, sisters or sister-in-laws, it was undeniable that these two women were inseparable from day one; the kind of bond you need in a situation like this.

Knowing that Dianne didn't need crowding at this moment, Tracy quietly excused herself from the room to go and find her son, who had been on his own for nearly three hours now. Tiptoeing up the stairs, towards the couples' bedroom, she peaks her head in the gap in the door, watching as her youngest child holds a pillow to his chest, tears rolling silently down his face. Loosing her composure slightly, the older woman felt her own tears fall as she made her way to her son, pulling him to her chest like a child as they cried together, rocking back and forth. Gathering herself once again and sitting back, Tracy takes in the sight of her child, heartbroken and distraught. Drawing a deep breathe, she prepares herself to tell a story that she hasn't told either of her children before, having promised herself to leave the past in the past. "Joseph? I'm going to tell you something, something I haven't told you or Zoe before but I think you need to hear it now. I don't want you to say anything, just let me finish okay?" Looking perplexed, Joe simply nods his head and gets comfortable, leaning against the headboard and cuddling into Dianne's pillow.

"So, you know your father and I were together for quite a while before we had Zoe and you, we had a bit of a break too? Well the truth is, we, well I lost not one baby but two babies in the time we were together. The first, I lost six weeks after we got married and hadn't even realised i was pregnant at the time, I thought my period was just heavy until I got blood results back for a different issue. Obviously this wasn't a major issue as we didn't know but it still hurt! After that, we tried again and this time I tracked everything so carefully and we got pregnant again after about 6months. I had all the vitamins, ate clean foods, avoided coffee, everything and it was all healthy until I got to twenty-two weeks. At my scan, similar to you and poor Dianne, we were told that there was no heartbeat and back then, we didn't have the drugs and medicine available now, so I had to labour and deliver that baby, knowing it was already dead. I didn't even know if it was a boy or a girl when they induced me, I just knew I had to get through the labour. You had a big brother Joe, your father and I called him William and he was tiny, weighed under a pound. But in the time after loosing him, that's what mattered the most. Your father and I pushed each other away, letting our frustration and anger get the best of us and it did cause us to split up briefly. So Joe, when I tell you that I know exactly how you feel, I genuinely do because I've been through it all before. You have to promise me, you won't do what we did, you need to be there for Dianne and let her be there for you-lean on each other. She is as heartbroken as you are but she's also worried about you. Now, Zoe and I are going to stay for a few days, as long as you need and your dad is keeping the little lady until you are ready to face her again. Come here my son, lets go downstairs and join the others."

Stretching as he stood up, Joe reached out to his mother and pulled her into a bone-crushing hug. "Mum... I had no idea. You really are the strongest woman I know, beside Dianne of course. I've already done what dad does best and that scares me...once I knew she was safe with you, I ran away. I let my feelings take over and I hid." He mumbles into his mum's hair, relishing in her warmth for a few more minutes. Stepping back to look up at her boy, who had suddenly become her brave young man within seconds in-front of her. " Your father is a good man Joe and so are you. But please remember what he tends to forget...you are not alone Joseph, you're never alone."