When the skyfalls

Chapter ten: Telling Charlotte take 2

Despite still feeling fragile and slightly weak from the procedure she endured, the only thing Dianne longed for, more than anything, was to hold her daughter, who had been away from them for an entire week now; the longest Dianne had been without her only child. Loosing the baby had dragged up a lot of emotions as her body dealt with the changes in her hormones; sadness, anxiety, anger, frustration but most of all, it was wrecking havoc with her inbuilt maternal instinct. She had often praised herself in not being an overbearing mother, leaving most of the worrying to Joseph, choosing instead to let her daughter learn the way her own mother had with her- waiting there when Charlotte needed her as opposed to chasing and smothering her in attention. The changes in body and mind had left her craving her daughter's silly little ways, bundles of energy and innocent affection on a daily basis. They had facetimed every day, smiling as Lottie recounted the adventures she was having with Nanny, Grandad and Auntie Zo, the ice-creams she had eaten and the fact that she had been allowed to go to McDonald's three times that week. Unaware of the situation at home, Charlotte had been having the time of her life as her various relatives kept her entertained, worrying that having their daughter asking questions would only prove to be a breaking point to the couple, who were struggling to adjust to the new normality. "Joseph? Where are you?" She called, from her place in the kitchen as she prepped a nutritious meal for them both- her new occupation as she moved forward, knowing her body would have to remain in prime condition if they ever decided to try for another baby.

Appearing in the doorway, in nothing but a pair of boxers with sweat dripping down his chiseled chest, Joe offered a heartwarming smile to his wife as he moved round the counter to place a kiss on her cheek and fire the towel he had, in the vague direction of the wash basket. "Yes my love? Were you shouting long? I couldn't hear, I was doing a work out, sorry!" Chuckling at his appearance and shoving him away from her, "Ew, you're gross, go shower! No, I just wanted to ask if we could bring Charlotte back today, I...i'm really missing her with these stupid hormones. Also, I've made quinoa salad once you are clean." Busying herself with opening a banana, she misses the flash of fear in her husbands eyes as he mutters something about ringing Zoe to bring their daughter round. As much as Joe was now in control of his emotions, having compartmentalised the incident in his brain, his wife was still struggling to control her own. The constantly tearful Dianne had been replaced with one who was very much hurting, frustrated and prone to random bouts of hysteria and Joe worried that bringing their daughter back too early would only put extra stress on his wife, never mind the impact it would have on a four year old, witnessing her mother this upset. Nonetheless, the call was made and Charlotte was coming home at five o'clock, excited to have her own bed back and all her teddies. "Dot, you realise we are going to have to tell her tonight. We can't keep her in the dark any longer, she will only ask questions." Joe stated, leaning across the counter to steal a piece of banana from his wife. Placing her hand on his cheek, she simply nodded. "I know my love, i'm ready for it. I've been reading up on the best ways to break it to her, its on the printer for you to look at too. She needs to know and right now, I need my little girl back." Moving round so she could hold her husband, she laid her head on top of his, rubbing his back and enjoying what would hopefully be their last child-free moments for the foreseeable future.

"MAMA! MAMA! MAMA! Where you?! MAMA! Look what I gotted you!" The familiar shrieks of their little daughter filled the halls as she charged in, in desperate search of her mother; A week was a long time to be without mama cuddles. Opening the living room door, the bundle of curls leapt across the room and tackled Dianne to the floor. Having been waiting patiently for her daughter to return, the mother didn't even brace herself for the attack, choosing instead to tumble to the floor with her child in her arms, rocking her side to side and peppering her with kisses. "Oh mama, dad told me to be gentle and I hurted you, he said you were icky and now you cry. I sorry mama!" the young girl pouts, nuzzling closer to her mother and reaching up to wipe the stray tear from her face. Chuckling at her daughter's sweet innocence, Dianne just smiles, " Yes little one, I've not been very well recently but i'm much better now you are home. They are happy tears, you didn't hurt me, i'm just excited to see you! But now you are home, Daddy and I need to have a chat with you, kay?" Looking up at her husband, who had been watching the heartwarming scene unfold before him, she gave him a nod, telling him to bring out the items they had chosen to help with their explanation. Settle on the sofa, Dianne placed her daughter across her lap, allowing the small child to curl up against her chest as Joe sat beside them, placing one arm around his wife and the other on his daughter's head, brushing her unruly curls out of her face. On the table in-front of them sat the rainbow bear, a white feather and a little memory book, as well as some cookies, milk and wine for the adults.

"So my little Charlotte, remember the way we told you that Mummy had a baby in her tummy, a little brother or sister?" Joe started, gauging not only his daughter's reaction but his wifes' as well. "Did I hurted baby when I tumbled with mama?" tears filling her tiny blue eyes as she stroked her mother's face, the purity in her voice knocked Joe- he knew this conversation would be tough but he hadn't anticipated just how hard it would be and he couldn't control his tears as they fell. Taking over from her husband, emotions much more stable now she had her daughter in her arms, Dianne drew a breath and continued the explanation. "Well my sweet little girl, remember Dad said I was feeling icky? When we went to see baby and get the picture? Well the doctor had some bad news. The baby in my tummy? Baby had been very sick for a long time and baby had to go." she finished, offering her spare hand to her husband who was sobbing silently beside them. "Mama? Where did baby go? Is she still in your tummy, here?" Lottie questioned, poking her mothers tummy gently, almost to check and see if baby would poke back. Blinking back her own tears and stroking Joe's hand, she turned her attention back to her little girl, who after seeing her dad cry, had started sobbing uncontrollably.

"Hey, hey! Baby girl, look at me. Baby isn't in my tummy anymore because baby has become an angel now! It is very sad for mama and daddy but look, baby has left us some little presents to remember it by! This bear, is something daddy bought for the baby, this white feather is something I found yesterday and nana Rina always taught me that a feather was a sign from your guardian angel and finally, we have a little memory book for baby, where we have our first and last picture and we can write important things in it when they happen, so baby isn't left out. Dry those tears now, baby wouldn't want us sad!" she giggled, attempting to make the child smile again and lift the mood. Reaching away from her mother, Charlotte clasps the bear in both of her tiny hands, kissing it so gently. "Mama, baby is rainbow now and I love rainbow. Love you the mostest mama, you my hero." Cuddling the bear to her chest, Lottie smiled up at her mum and settled back against her chest, nuzzling into her breast like a baby. Having controlled his emotions once again, Joe took this moment to interrupt the mother-daughter moment and butt in; "She is a hero, isn't she my Lottie? Now baby is in heaven, it means mama and daddy might be sad sometimes and won't always be able to play. But you'll be a good girl, won't you? You'll give mama a lot of extra loving, won't you my little sweetheart?" Watching her father stare intently at her mama, even at four years old, Charlotte knew this moment would be one they remember, as a family, forever. Awkwardly shuffling from her mothers lap, the small girl took it upon herself to wiggle into the middle of the sofa, her mama on one side and her dad on the other, Lottie pulled her parents towards her tiny body, unknowingly creating a family hug that they all needed, temporarily mending the gap which had been created by the loss of her sibling.

"You are so loved Charlotte Sugg, so loved our little one."