Mutual

Chapter twenty six

Jack: "I love you, Y/N."
Me: "I love you too, Jack." He pulls away and looks into my eyes.
Jack: "No, you don't understand. I love you."

Me: "Wha-what?"
Jack: "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. I know you're with Brooklyn now, and now I need to move on, which I respect."
Me: "Jack..."
Jack: "I get if you don't want to speak to me anymore, but I couldn't not tell you."
Me: "Jack..."
Jack: "I know you hate me right now and it's totally your decision if you've changed your mind on being my friend, I-"
Me: "JACK!"
Jack: "Yeah?"
Me: "Stop assuming shit."
Jack: "Sorry."
Me: "Can you just... can you just go? I need to be on my own for a bit."
Jack: "Yeah. Of course, I get it."

He hangs his head and leaves the house. I sit on the settee and pull my knees up to my chest and start to sob. Why me? I'm so done with the drama, I just got out of some, and now I'm back in it. How could this happen? I'm in love with Brooklyn, not Jack. And it's staying that way. My life is so messed up. I cry myself to sleep on the sofa.

Voice: "Y/N!"

I wake up to someone shaking me. I open my eyes to Jack smiling down at me. Did last night not happen? I check the clock to see it's 4am. I've been asleep for like, two hours. What the fuck?

Me: "Jack?"
Jack: "YoU'rE fINalLy aWakE!" Shit, he's very drunk.
Me: "Jack, how much have you drunk?"
Jack: "JuSt A BiT."

I sit up and look at him and the next few moments are a blur. Everything happened so fast. Jack tells me he loves me. The door creaks open. Jack leans to kiss me. The door slams shut. I turn my head so Jack kisses my cheek. I push Jack away and jump up, running out of the room to see Andy, glaring at me. Time slows down.

Me: "Andy..."
Andy: "Save it, Y/N. You're fucked up."
Me: "Nothing happened."
Andy: "You're a liar. I saw enough. How can you do this to Brook?"
Me: "I didn't! You have to believe me!"
Andy: "Why would I believe you if you're not the person I thought you were, you cheating little slut." He spits. Every word is a kick in the gut.
Me: "Andy, please just listen. I can explain!"
Andy: "I can't keep something like this from him, Y/N. He's my best fucking mate and the most loyal person I know."
Me: "And-"
Andy: "Shut the fuck up. I don't wanna listen to your whiney voice anymore. How could you do this?"
Me: "You can't tell him. If you ever cared about me, you wouldn't." His stony face softens for a slight moment before it ices back over.
Andy: "Either you tell him, or I do." 

He turns and walks away. I wipe my eyes and go into a cabinet where I know there are pens and paper. I grab some paper and a black pen before getting to writing my notes.

---
To whoever reads this - don't. Unless your name is Jack. This note is specifically for Jack only. Please pass it on.

Okay, Jack.

This is complicated, really complicated.

You love me? Like, more than a friend? I'm gonna get straight to the point and say, I can't retaliate those feelings. I love Brook. I can't be anything more than friends with you.

I need time to process everything. You won't see me until we regroup after Christmas. I need my own personal space, and my own time. Don't call me, don't text me. I need some time alone right now. I hope you can respect that, at least, more than you can respect the fact that I'm in a relationship with your best friend.

Y/N x
---

I fold the note so that only the top line is visible and place it on the kitchen counter. Then, I get to work on my second note.

---
To whoever reads this - don't. Unless your name is Brook. This note is specifically for Brook only. Please pass it on.

Okay, Brooklyn.

We've gone. We'll see you after the Christmas break. Some shit happened last night and I needed to get out of here. I'm sorry - I'll explain everything later, promise.

I love you, 
Y/N x
---

I do the same thing and place it next to Jack's note. Before I know it, I'm crying again and tears drop onto Brook's note. He's going to hate me. I hate myself. I run upstairs and knock on Sonny's door. A few minutes later, Sonny comes out. He notices my tear-stained face and goes to hug me but I push him away.

Sonny: "You okay?"
Me: "No. Is Kathryn awake? We need to go."
Sonny: "I can wake her. Has something happened? You know its only like, 5, right?"
Me: "Please, you could say that and yes." 

Sonny goes and wakes Kathryn up and she comes out.

Kathryn: "We're going? Why? I need some time to sleep off this horrendous hangover first."
Me: "Kathryn, I'm leaving now. Either you come with me or you catch the train." I start to tear up again even though I thought I couldn't cry anymore.
Kathryn: "Okay okay I'm coming. Are you alright to drive though? It's only been a couple hours since we were drinking."
Me: "I'm very much sober now."
Kathryn: "Why? What happened?"
Me: "I'll explain on the way."
Kathryn: "Okay. Let me say bye to Sonny then."
Me: "I'll be in the car. Please don't be long."

4 hours later, and I've dropped Kathryn off. She knows everything and has promised to try and make Andy see sense. He was probably too mad to reason. I turn onto my road and see Thomas standing outside my house. Boy am I glad to see him.