Mutual

Chapter twenty eight

Kathryn: "Well?"
Me: "He's hurt."
Kathryn: "You're hurt."
Me: "He needs to heal."
Kathryn: "You need to heal."
Me: "He needs time."
Kathryn: "You need time."
Me: "I need him."
Kathryn: "He needs you."
Me: "I love him."
Kathryn: "He loves you."
Me: "How do you know? He won't even speak to me."
Kathryn: "How do I know? Have you seen the way his eyes light up when you walk into the room? The way the corners of his mouth tug up when he's with you? The way he always wants to be around you whether it's next to you on the sofa, or a trip to ASDA? Heck, when he saw you yesterday, hope crossed over his face before he remembered he was hurt. He's only doing this to protect himself. You need to get through to him, break down his walls. He needs to know just how much you love him."
Me: "You're right. I need to stop sulking and talk to him. It wasn't my fault."
Kathryn: "Right, I don't care what you say, I'm right. You need to stop sulk- wait, what?"
Me: "I said you're right."
Kathryn: "Oh. I didn't think it would be that easy to convince you. When are you going to try and talk to him?"
Me: "I'm not too sure. I think I'm going to go for a walk."
Kathryn: "Okay. Do you want me to come with you?"
Me: "No, it's okay. I want to clear my head."
Kathryn: "Alright. I'm going to go and meet Sonny. Text me if you need me."
Me: "Will do. Love you."
Kathryn: "Love you."

I hug her and walk towards the door, shoving some shoes on and grabbing a coat. I open the door and step out, breathing in the cool air. It's early morning so everything's still fresh. Even though the sun's just risen, the stars can still be seen. I love mornings like these. They make me happy. Talking to Andy has felt like a big weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I'm happier than I've been since that night, but still, I feel lost. I don't know where my feet are taking me, I'm just walking. I don't recognise my surroundings, that is, until I recognise the park where Brooklyn asked me to be his girlfriend. If anywhere is going to make think clearly - it's here. I open the gate and walk over to the swings. One's already occupied by a hooded figure, so I take the other one. I'm lost in my thoughts about what I should say to my boyfriend when someone clears their throat. Hold up, my boyfriend? Is he still my boyfriend? Surely, because he's not broken up with me physically. But he doesn't want to talk to me. Has he emotionally broken up with me? Is that a thing? What are we?

Person: "Excuse me."
Me: "Yeah?"
Person: "I came here to be alone."
Me: "Great. Good for you."
Person: "Well, can you leave me alone?"
Me: "I wasn't even talking to you. Why do you care so much? And for the record, so did I."
Person: "Well fuck off then. I don't want company."
Me: "Could you be any ruder? I didn't come to accompany, I came to sulk on my own. This is where my boyfriend asked me out and I'd like to think about them in peace. Either stay and leave me be or move to the slide."
Person: "Woah! I was here before you."
Me: "I don't care whether you were here before me or whether you're fucking God! Stop talking to me. There's only one person I wish to speak to right now, and you're not him."
Person: "Aren't I?" He scoffs.
Me: "Fine. I'll move to the slide, you arrogant tw-"
Person: "Don't move, stay. You don't know who I am, do you?"
Me: "No, I couldn't care less if I'm honest."
Person: "Couldn't you?"

He pushes his hood back, revealing Brook. How could I not see it was him? His bags under his eyes are monstrous, his usual shining green eyes are replaced by dull ones. He's broken out more than normal and his happy demeanour is gone. I stand up and turn around, storming off to the gate. I can't do this right now. He hates me. So much so that he is acting all cocky and like a twat towards me. I open the gate and cringe at the high pitch squeal it makes. I feel Brook grab my wrist and spin me around.

Me: "What?"
Brooklyn: "I miss you."
Me: "You told me to get out of your life."
Brooklyn: "I didn't mean that."
Me: "Why say it then?"
Brooklyn: "Because I thought you cheated on me."
Me: "What if I did?"
Brooklyn: "But you didn't."
Me: "How d'you know that?"
Brooklyn: "I spoke to Andy and Jack."
Me: "That's great. Can I go now?"
Brooklyn: "I thought you loved me."
Me: "I thought you trusted me."
Brooklyn: "Ouch."
Me: "I was going to talk to you to see how I could make it right but then I realised that none of this is my fault and I'm having to clean up the mess that other people got me into. Do you know what hurts the most? The fact you just assumed I did it and didn't even talk to me. You said you wouldn't break my heart but then you only went and did it."
Brooklyn: "I said if I broke your heart I'd only break mine too. I meant that."
Me: "Great! Well done. Do you want a medal? A pat on the back. You broke you're own heart because you didn't trust me."
Brooklyn: "I'm sorry, Y/N."
Me: "So you should be. I'll be going now."
Brooklyn: "Wait..."
Me: "I'm good, thanks. I thought I messed this up but no, it was your lack of trust. A key thing for a relationship. You couldn't even manage that. Stay away from me, Brooklyn."

This time, I really do walk away. I feel good for that but did I do the right thing? I hope so. I'm done chasing him, it's my turn to be chased.

~~~

A/N

Hey! I tried to upload this chapter the other day but just as I went to hit save and upload it, my WiFi went down. I've been trying to upload this all weekend and it's finally working (kind of).

Also, all of the spaces and paragraphs went really weird when I uploaded this chapter for the first time, so I unpublished it and tried to sort it, however, if it happens again I apologise. I don't really know what more I can do.

I really hope you enjoyed this chapter. Next one should be out tomorrow at 5 (if all goes to plan of course).

Love and peace, Hannah x