•°×When You Talk×°• ✓Billdip✓

🥀Silence🥀

3rd Pov
       After the...incident..Dipper just was unsatisfied with the scene throughout. He just didn't like the company as..he wasn't used to any of this. How was he suppose to react? The brunette was confused about peoples actions and simply society itself as his parents didn't give him the will to live like a normal boy.
       Dipper was just walking back home though the forest to simply not go through those stares again..he despised stares. Mainly when eyes were on him..he just wanted to disappear or even tell people to fuck off..but he didn't have the courage to speak. Not yet at least. The brunette didn't really know his way back, but he was guessing somewhat. After a few times of getting lost..he finally stood infront of the shack. Not quite ready to face people that were his so called family, but where else would he go? He knew he couldn't go back to Bill as the others would be quite confused when they see Gideon not near a brunette.
       Dipper inhaled and exhaled to calm himself down. His hands were clammy and he felt weak under this roof..but he always was. At least to himself. He then opened the door to see no one home..that's what he thought at least...it was quiet. Even odd. And scary..he then saw Mabel get come out from the kitchen and noticed the brunette...she simply glares at him and walked up to him.
       "What did you tell them?" She asked with crossed arms. Dipper simply gulped and was quietly panicking inside.
       "Wh-what are you even tal-talking about?"
      "OH STOP ACTING LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW. THEY called ME telling ME that YOU were acting ODD while I was actually LIVING a LIFE! What in the actual fuck did you tell them to make them call ME?!" She then stomped a few steps closer causing the brunette to flinch.
      'I didn't say anything to anyone did I? Did I?...fuck...fuckfuckfuck...I cried in front of them...I..practically told them they didn't even KNOW Mabel!..shitshitshitshit!' Mason's mind was now on a full on panic mode and his first reaction was to apologize as he's dealt with screaming too much times then he should've.
      " I-...I-I'm so-sorry Mab-Mabel! I didn't m-me-mean to-" his stammering was interrupted my Mabel's mimicking.
       "IM SORRY OH I'M SO SOWWYY- SORRY MY ASS! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! YOU THINK A SORRY IS GOING TO SOLVE THIS?!...you fucking embarrassed me in front of them Dipper! ME?! Out of ALL the people you could've embarrassed...you chose ME? WHAT THE FUCK MASON?!...oh you're now basically BEGGING to be sent to mom and dad!...pff...what the fuck Mason?" She added venom to the last word and glared at him...and to her suprise. He glared back strongly. She was quite stunned. Surprised. Shocked. She couldn't even express her thoughts at the moment of her brother looking pissed at her.
       "OH SO I EMBARRASSED YOU?!...I DID THIS?! Oh typical typical Mabel...I'm tired of you thinking I embarrassed YOU! I'm just being a person! I'm not even close to embarrassing YOU! AND NO..YOU WILL NEVER SEND ME BACK TO YOUR PARENTS. I WILL NEVER GO BACK TO THAT HELL HOLE!...you knew what they did to me..you knew so fucking much. And you used that to your advantage.. threatening me when I barely came back from trauma....how did I barely realize this?!..HOW?!...pff Mabel..I should be telling you this...What. The. Fuck. Mabel." To he honest Dipper was shocked himself. He just called his parents Mabel's. He didn't even try to relate them to him..and he and the girl near him we're at both shock. Did he really just say that? Yes. Yes he fucking did.
       "OH?! REALLY?! WHERE DID THIS CONFIDENCE COME FROM MASON?! I HAVE CONTROL IN THIS SO DON'T EVEN TRY TO FIGHT BACK!" She shouted even more harshly with her blood boiling to the point it could make an entire meal. Her words caused Dipper to back away slightly.. slightly..that small backing away caught both Mabel's and Dippers eyes. So..he went forward. For the first time he went forward.
       "..I've been through SHIT IS WHAT HAPPENED MABEL...so much shit...and I'm never going back whether you like it or not...Mabel you got this whole situation wrong...I'm in control of this...if you send me back. I can still put up my act. I can still smile and not cut. Then your parents would lose interest in me since I'm no use to them anymore..then they'll send me here and also lose trust into you Mabel...and even if they do believe you when you send me back..you'll lose attention. People will forget me and about that story of yours and you won't gain as much attention as you do now Mabel..and you know that. Wasn't that your plan Mabel? Hm?...pff...it's a lose, lose situation for you," Dipper got one more step closer to Mabel and took a look at her...she seemed pissed and surprised, but Dipper teared up at the sight of his sister that use to care for him and like him..he missed those days..oh how he would do anything to get the old Mabel back..he then continued with a softer tone, "..I'm sorry Mabel...I'm sorry that you're not getting the Dipper you wanted...but I'm keeping my word when I say I'm never going back...whether anyone likes it or not. I just got out..I'm not going back...I'm sorry sis." And with that last sentence he immediately hugged her...for the first time in years he gave a hug to his bratty sister..and to be honest..Mabel has too shocked to even react. She was like a statue. Dipper tightened and embraced the hug for a second and then let go and smiled at her...he then immediately raced upstairs to his room with tears flowing his face. He was too emotional with all the events that played.
       He then entered his blank room, locked the door, and laid on his bed softly as he didn't want to face the impact of a harsh cushion. He turned his body towards the roof and looked out the small window. Tears still in his eyes simply shimmered down his small barley noticeable freckles. He sighed. Cause what can he honestly do now? He was physically and mentally tired and just not stable enough to interact with anyone...he was just tired of everything. He couldn't even get a hold of the situation he was put in...how was he suppose to react to simply the world itself? He was locked in and taught so differently and now he was in a new environment with new things he now has to suddenly learn. There wasn't any preparation or any expectations to be given to him whatsoever...he was confused...upset obviously..pissed...and his mind was just scattered all over the place. He felt suffocated by simply anything..the air...people...voices..silence itself. And here he was. In his locked room. With no one and the noise of nothing occupying him. He felt like he was drowning. The silence just increased and his ears felt stuffed and all he heard was ringing and ringing and it just never stopped. He's terrified. Panicking. Alone...he's never been in a situation where there could be such silence like this as his old location he always heard screaming or hitting or just something...the brunette couldn't deal with something like this. He felt like his breaths were being limited and he had to close up his lungs, but he was so desperate not to. He didn't what his body to do what he thought he had to do. He had such different thoughts consuming him and he just felt for tears come down.
       He immediately sat up and looked at honestly anything to feel. Something that seemed comforting...but there wasn't any items he's even been familiar with. He was just scavenging the place like a maniac, but tried to be as quiet as he can..he's pissed his sister enough.
       'C'MON, C'MON...WH- WHERE CAN I FIND- SOMEONE HELP ME- AN ITEM- I'M SUFFOCATING- PLEASE THERE'S GOTTA BE AN ITEM- SHE'S PISSED- I'M ALONE- WHAT CAN I USE-' Dippers thoughts were then silenced when he heard a small metal fall onto the floor making a rather dramatic entrance...the brunette barely realized he was in the bathroom and he knocked over...and object. He looked back cautiously and immediately froze up when he can identify the object...it was that sharp razor he screwed out of the original object...he noticed himself walking towards the thing and picked it up slowly. His thoughts silenced. His mind was shut down. The room itself was quiet. He felt everything being muffled and just the sound of ringing again...it was killing him.
       Dipper admitted that he actually stopped cutting for an entire month, but that was for his parents to let him go. His parents weren't here. Mabel wasn't here and as if she'll give a single fuck about this. He was..alone. And though he didn't like it...he decided to take an advantage onto the situation like everyone does to him. He brought the object onto him to a sight where he can clearly tell what it was...and he was surely correct that it was the object he's admired for years. He took off the bandages in a hurry as everything just seemed to get louder even though it was silence. He was suffocating in any way and he needed to escape. At this point everything was just blurry. He couldn't even tell what was what as if he lost his vision somewhat. He was terrified and needed to feel something against his skin...so..that's when he knew his addiction began.
(Self harm warning as you could obviously tell)
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Everything was such a blur. As if a jacked up memory that was playing. He felt the harsh, sharp, cold object go deeply into his skin as a welcoming. He winced at first as well it's been such a long time...but he got use to it. It was like a pattern. Up, down, down, slide, up again, and repeat. He couldn't tell what was what, but his breathing started to calm down. His vision was regaining position...and right when he stopped. He was actually upset at the loss of contact, but he looked towards his arm, and oh boy was it a bloody scene. He didn't over do it, which he was proud of, but he still should've been more aware of his surroundings..since now he had to clean the floor..and get some new bandages...and clean his arm.
       "...fuck..." Dipper sighed and just threw the sharp objects away at a small table not caring where it landed...he immediately lost his balance and dropped into a sitting position where his knees and legs were being harshly faced towards the ground as he sat on them. He didn't have any reactions. He just sat there for a moment. Eyes widened. Tears streaming down still not even stopping. Body trembling. He realized what he's done..and he didn't know whether to be happy or not. He lied to his parents. And he didn't want them to come back when he started again. He knew this would be a routine. Oh he acknowledged that...but there was a problem. The fucking bandages. People would be confused about the sudden clean pairs...but Dipper just didn't what to give a single fuck in the world about that anymore.
       The brunette then snapped out of it and got up looking around the area. He sighed again and began to clean his mess...cleaning his arms harshly. Mopping the floor with just a towel. Organizing the mess. He was just done with life and nothing was helping.
(Self harm over ig???)
       After...that situation. Dipper got out of the bathroom and looked out the window once again to see what the outside world looked now...it was during sunset hours..he found it strange yet somewhat amusing on the way the areas lighting and colors or shadows changed throughout the day...sure it was stupid of someone to be amused by that, but Dipper was Dipper...he was amused by almost everything as he's never seen much. He honestly forgot how his childhood was like..he just remembered some times with his mother or Mabel...but that's all. Dipper then blinked as he was just staring outside. He then wanted some fresh air...not like anyone cared. Dipper then went to get some new clothes as his current ones weren't in the best looking way. He simply got an oversized yellow sweatshirt and some dullish blue jeans that weren't sticker to his clothes..he just wanted to feel comfortable. He cuffed the end of his jeans that were somewhat long and put on his shoes. He then washed his face before unlocking his door and walked out of his room and went downstairs slowly..afraid of any outcomes.
       "Hey kid shouldn't you be eating something right now? I mean everyone already finished lunch some hours ago and I haven't even seen you downstairs to even eat a chip!" Dipper heard an old man say. He looked up slowly and noticed it was uncle Ford who was about to walk upstairs...and once Ford and Dipper made eye contact..the old man's eyes widened at the sight of his nephew...Dipper looked so fragile..and so small. He had some old tear marks that fallen off his face and Dipper just looked tired in any way possible...the brunette immediately broke the eye contact and replied with a soft trembly voice.
       "I-Im...not hun-hungry...I'm going outside for a walk....bye-bye." He then walked off quietly not even making a noise and walked out of the shack closing the door as silent as possible. The uncle just stood there. He didn't even know how to react..he then sighed and continued his day because honestly...who cares?
       During the walk Dipper was rather paranoid as he heard random noises..he didn't even know why he was jumpy. He was honestly confused of his own actions...but he did feel this weird presence...something he was familiar to..not too familiar, but he knew the person. He walked faster and faster just wanting to leave...and that's when it hit him...he felt a similar hand he's felt before. He immediately turned around and went into a small fighting stand...he didn't know much, but he's seen his mother doing it whenever his parents went into a violence wreck.
       "Woah woah there pal! I ain't hurting a bug heh!"...the man said. He then looked up and saw Gideon Gleeful with his smug smirk. Dipper...was still uncomfortable with him. He didn't care whether people liked him or not...he just sent weird vibes.
       "Why are you here?" The brunette still stood the same position.
       "Well ya see I was about to walk towards the shack haha! And wouldn't ya know it I found ya! Just the person I was looking for!"
       "What do you want from me?"
       "Well ya see...I was wondering if ya wanna hang out again some other time," Gideon stepped a foot closer making Dipper to back away, "cause...hehe...I feel a connection between us."

A/N: uh sorry for late update cause I'm busy dying and feeling like shit. K bye🤙