Assistants Please

Im cold

There's a weight on my stomach as I wake up. I glance down to see Jimmys head resting on me. I inch my fingers to his hair and slowly start playing with it. He snuggles in closer before looking up. He shoots back.

"Sorry. I didn't realize I "

"It's fine." I sigh. "You need to take some Tylenol, you're hung over." I say reaching into my bag and passing over the bottle.

"Laci, I really am sorry. And I really do still love you. So much." He looks down at his hands.

"I love you too but you have to understand I-" know is the time I should tell him about the baby. "Jimmy I'm-"

"Hey guys you up?" Chris asks outside the tent.

"Yeah come on in." I say. Letting out a breathe of air I didn't know I was holding.

Chris unzips the tent.

"The boats are coming in an hour we gotta pack up, Chandlers yelling for food."

Sighing jimmy sits up pats my hand and crawls out of the tent. I lay there for a moment. What am I suppose to do? I fold up the blankets and sleeping bags before getting out of the tent. I walk over to the pit and watch everyone take the tents down. The longer I sit the longer i think.

I can't take care of a baby myself. But I can't tell him right now not after what happened. What if that's the only thing he'll be with me for? I don't have a place of my own, I don't have any idea how to raise a child.

"Laci." I jerk out of my thoughts and look up at Jake.

"Yeah what's up?"

"We need to clean up the chairs then we're all done." He said motioning to the chair I'm in.

"Oh yeah of course sorry." I laugh awkwardly and stand up folding the chair and handing it to him.

"Are you okay you seemed really concentrated there."

"Yeah just peachy." I smile. He hesitates to nod by does, walking back to the guys.

Soon the boat comes. I haven't said much all morning I can't stop thinking about what I'm gonna do. Don't get me wrong I love babies I'm excited but this isn't how I imagined being pregnant. Single heart broken and alone.

We all get on the boat. I sit down on the seat beside Chris.

"I gotta ask for some girl advice. Do you think Katie would be willing to chat?"

"Yeah she loves you, what's up?"

"Oh nothing." I shrug. "I can swing by later?"

"Sounds good." I smile and thank him before walking back over to my spot on the deck.

"Hey" Jimmy says sitting down beside me.

"Hey" I nod

"What were you gonna say earlier?"

"I don't remember" just that I'm having your baby.

"I miss you Laci. So much I can't wake up in the morning and not see you laying there anymore. It kills me to know what I did to you. Please." He wipes a tear in his eye.

"I'll need time I've got a lot going on now." I sigh.

"Drinks?" He asks. If only I could. I would love to down a shot or two.

"Trying to sober up." I lie

"I see." He nods. "I'll give you some time to think about it." He smiles. He stands up and kisses me on the forehead before walking away.

A tear rolls down my face as I stare into the ocean. We're suppose to film another video today. All the guys are gonna see who keeps their hand on the boat the longest.

The boat comes to a haunt and I hear everyone talking behind me. I'm to engaged in the ocean. Silent tears fall from my face. I stand up and slide my pants down my legs and take my top off revealing a bikini. I stand on the edge of the boat and jump into the cold water.

The water is just what I need right now. I stay under for a few moments before re-emerging. I lay on my back and gently float around.

Splashes go on around me jerking me from my relaxation. Suddenly I'm pulled under water. I kick my way up gasping for air. I open my eyes to see Jimmy laughing.

"I know you didn't just do that." I gasp swimming over to him attempting to push him head under but failing. I grip onto his shoulder as he tries to pick me up.

In one swift motion I'm in the air and dropped into the cold water again.

I hurry and climb on board wrapping myself up into a towel and sitting in the boat I wait for them to start.

I'm watching them argue over who's going to win when I feel a warmth come over me. I look up to see Jimmy wrapping a blanket around me.

"I figured you were cold."

"Thank you" he turns to leave. "Hey. You know I wouldn't mind if you stayed just for a little." I whisper. He slowly sits in the floor beside me.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm cold." I ignore his apology again. I lean onto his shoulder. He wraps his arm around me.

It's quiet and we sit there watching them do this challenge. I feel my eyes getting heavy until I all together fall asleep on jimmys shoulder.