finneas imagines

gone

🥺

it was quiet, so quiet. he didn't like the feeling of being alone but now he had no choice but to feel it. he felt so alone and it was driving him crazy. he couldn't do anything anymore. he wouldn't do anything anymore. he wouldn't eat, wouldn't sleep, he wouldn't even go on his daily walks with pepper around the neighbourhood. and most of all, he couldn't sing anymore.

"finneas?" billie knocks on the door and walks in. his back was facing towards her as he stared at the wall.

"i, uh, i bought some food." billie says while holding the plate of food tightly.

"i'm not hungry billie, you can leave now." finneas says in a croaky voice.

"finneas, you need to eat, it's not healthy if you haven't eaten in three days." billie explains.

"i'm fine." he says but she shakes her head.

"no, you're not. you haven't left your room ever since what happened, you refuse to eat and everyone misses you. even pepper." billie tries to reason with him but to her big disappointment, it doesn't work.

"i said, i'm fine."

"you're pushing everyone out of your life, including your family, including me. it's not just you that's hurting. we all are. y/n was always apart of the family so her not being here anymore, it hurts. it's hurts so bad." she says.

"just leave billie."

"no, i'm not leaving. you're not taking care of yourself properly. y/n wouldn't want you to be like this." billie says. with a frown but after saying that, she knew she had made a big mistake.

"yeah? well y/n is dead! she isn't here anymore and i couldn't do anything about it!" finneas suddenly shouts as he stands up with tears running down his face.

"finneas-"

"i watched her heart stop! i watched her die and i didn't do anything about it! do you know how that felt like? to lose the love of your life? it broke me billie! can't you see that?" finneas voices fills up the room and bounces off the walls.

"no, i don't know what it feels like, but i do know how it feels to lose a friend. i've lost people too finneas, we all have but we've moved on. yes, we mourn but we can't waste our lives doing so! if y/n were here, she'd whoop your ass." billie says while tears begin to form in her eyes.

"yeah well guess what, she's gone! and she's never coming back!" he screams and he punches the wall. billie flinches at the noise and puts the food on the desk.

"she's gone and she's never coming back. i tried to help but it wasn't enough. i failed billie." finneas whimpers and falls to the ground in huddle of sobs and tears.

billie immediately runs to him and engulfs him in a hug. billie rocks him back and forth, soothing him with comforting words. she puts her hand on the back of his head and her other on his back, rubbing it gently.

finneas felt like he couldn't even breathe anymore. it felt impossible to do so. his sons over came him and he struggles to breathe. billie is quick to act tells him soothing words.

"i failed, i failed, i failed." he whispers but billie shakes her head.

"you didn't fail, there wasn't anything you could do. you tried your hardest, y/n would've been so, so proud of you for trying. she knows, you didn't fail her. she's in a better place now." billie whispers.

"i don't know what to do, i can't live without her." he mumbles.

"you try and move on. the past is going to haunt you unless you move on. its not going to be easy but unless you try, you'll get there. you can't waste your life mourning and all mopey. you need to try." billie says.

"i don't know how, i don't know if i can."

"we'll be here to help you, every step of the way. no one said you had to do it alone because you aren't. you're surrounded by so many friends that would gladly be able to be there for you. we'll be here for you, mom, dad and me. we aren't going anywhere."

"i'm sorry billie, i'm sorry." he says in a shaky voice.

"it's okay, it's okay." and she keeps on repeating that phrase until he calms down.

"we'll get through, we always do."

his sobs begin to cease and all what billie could feel was his tears rolling down her neck every once in a while. his eyes were still closed as he tries to take the physical and mental pain away but he's unsuccessful. he felt like he was going to live with this pain forever.

he begins to take deep breathes, in and out, as he tries to calm down. soon, he was no more tears left in his system. he feels empty.

billie takes the hand that he punched into the wall and gently runs her fingers above his knuckles. she hears him softly wince. she pouts and stands up.

"i'm going to get some ice. don't do anything stupid and eat." she says as she points to the food. he looks down to the floor and slightly nods. she was hesitant but leaves his room to get the ice.

finneas was left with his own thoughts. if only i could bring her back. he hadn't gotten sleep since the car accident and that was a month ago. he felt so guilty, he wished he was there to at least say goodbye but he wasn't. he missed you much that it could be the death of him.

he eyes the food and stood up. he took the food in his hands and took a bite. he felt like throwing up. his stomach was so used to not having food that it rejected whatever he had eaten. he swallowed it but that was enough for him. he didn't feel like eating anymore of that stuff so he leaned against his bed.

billie came back with an ice pack and immediately put in on his hand. finneas let out a sigh of relief and closed his eyes.

"don't do that, ever again." billie pleads and he nods.

"that hole in the wall is going to be expensive as fuck to fix but whatever." billie says and he chuckles.

"i miss her too, she was like the sister i never had and her not being here anymore, it breaks my heart. i miss her a lot." her voice breaks as she talks. finneas looks down at her with a frown.

"i can't imagine the pain you're going through right now." she says and she hugs finneas with all of her might. he rests his chin on the top of her head and they cry together.

but the know soon, the sun will shine on them again.