Colorful (H.S) | ✔️

7

Ellie's P.O.V

I am such a big fuck up. 

Why couldn't I let myself be happy with Harry? Why did I think it would be ruined with my touch?

I've been sulking for weeks. Harry continued his tour in Europe. I saw all the news about him and the other girls. Part of me was relieved because I know Harry couldn't get it on with those girls. 

Speaking of, my life with Drew has gotten dull. It's fun but doesn't have the spark, presumably because we're not soulmates. 

I had to speak to him. Of course, I didn't have his phone number or any point of direct contact. 

I have to slide into his DMs...

I cringe as I open twitter and search his name. Of course, he's the first Harry that pops up.

Worst case scenario, he doesn't want to see me. That's okay, I dug my own grave. It doesn't hurt to try, right?

I open the message tab and begin typing. 

Me: One date.

The gray checkmark appears, indicating that my message was sent. Now the hard part, waiting.

I have to distract myself. A watched pot never boils and I can't stand to stare at the screen, waiting for him to open it.

Lily barges in and I shut my laptop before she sees the screen. 

"Do you ever knock?" I ask annoyed. She sticks her tongue out and sits on my bed.

Why do little siblings just come and sit? 

She scrolls on her phone and me on mine. 

During this time I decide to download Twitter onto my phone. That way, it'll be easier to see if he read the message.

Gosh, I'm so desperate.

I know better than to keep my hopes up. 

Coloring suddenly seems very appealing. It has never been fun during colorblindness. You could never see the result. Without thought, I grab an adult coloring book I've had and some color pencils. I begin furiously coloring.

"How would you even know if your picture looks good?" Lily peers over to my coloring book. 

I shrug, "Probably doesn't, but it'll be fun to see it when the time comes." I want to look over my old pages, but don't want Lily to be suspicious. "Can you please get out of my room you ugly gremlin," I ask, now frustrated.

She laughs and gets up to leave. When she's by the door, she flicks me off and then proceeds to not shut the door. 

Ugh! Sisters. 

Once she's way out of sight, I decide to check the old pages. 

Either I'm in a really bad state of mind or just on crack, but I start cracking up.  I mean I am literally 'LOL'ing. The colors look awful together! I mixed browns with purples, blacks, greens. It looks like puke. 

After my small mental breakdown, I head downstairs for dinner. My mom smiles when she sees me. 

"I heard you laughing earlier. I'm so glad," she pulls me into a hug.

I didn't even realize that my sadness is affecting everyone around me. My poor mom, she must have felt hopeless. 

The three of us eat dinner together and talk about random stuff. My mom avoids everything boy related, unless it has to do with Lily. I'm so grateful for that.